Maybe you can do something about it

For some people the idea that they can solve the problems and inconveniences in their life is not something they’ve considered.

When an inconvenience arises and you take the ‘do nothing approach’, it might not go away. It might remain or just grow and grow to the point where it’s unbearable.

Imagine you get a light pain in your back and it’s uncomfortable at the time but you just shrug it off assuming yeah, it’ll just go away. Maybe you’re right but your back is also quite important so it’s worth taking the ‘do it now approach’ and getting checked out.

In a few months that small pain could turn into something much worse.

The point I’m making can be applied to so many aspects of life.

Maybe at times we choose to do nothing because we don’t think it’s a big deal  or we feel getting help would be an inconvenience for other people. Most significantly we assume that these little problems won’t be the cause of avoidable issues in the future.

The next time a problem or inconvenience comes up, don’t just ignore it, nip it in the bud as soon as you can, you don’t have to carry every little problem with you through life.

You can make things easier, if you want to.

Why sometimes you should do what you’re told

Have you ever had someone tell you what to do or what you need to work on and instantly put resistance to it, even when it’s something you planned to do or know you need to work on?

I have and I can take a wild guess that some of you have too. I recently found myself wondering what exactly this resistance is that comes up and more importantly why it happens.

I think it’s a mix of ego and the fact that sometimes being told what to do is annoying.

But since it’s impossible to avoid someone telling you what to do whether it’s a sibling, parent, manager, teacher stranger etc. The best thing to do is figure out how to overcome that feeling instead of being stubborn about it.

However if that has no benefit, it might be worth just doing what you’re told.

Of course this doesn’t apply to everyone that tells you what to do. But when you know that you need to be more focused and someone points it out, if you give into stubbornness and double down on your lack of focus it’s not going to help and it probably won’t feel good.

It’s a two way thing

When someone doesn’t want what you’re offering.

In a post called generous projection, I wrote about how when people try to help, they might just be projecting. I wrote it with a focus on the receiver but what about when you’re the one trying to help.

We often say things like I’m here if you wanna talk etc with the expectation that the other person will want to talk to us. We might even get frustrated if they don’t, but you have to remember it’s really not about you.

When you make someone an offer it might be useful to remember that they don’t have to accept.

Take a moment

A reaction rooted in anger is one you’re likely to regret.

Anything that builds up has to have a release eventually. And if you’ve tried to release or resolve it to no avail then it’s important that you do find a way.

Bursts of anger and outrage often come unexpectedly and end up being directed at the wrong person.

This is why it’s important to nip things in the bud instead of leaving ‘bad’ feelings to flourish.

But if nipping things in the bud isn’t something you’re comfortable with yet, it’ll be important to know when you need to take a moment because that anger will come up at some point.

In a ‘say nothing’ kinda mood

And sometimes the best thing is to say nothing at all.

Because if someone isn’t willing to listen but is willing to argue and disagree you’re probably wasting your time and energy.

But other times the reason to say nothing is because you can’t quite find the words. You’re talking in phrases, stumbling over words and not quite making sense.

Maybe you need a moment of rest, a moment to not speak (or write) or make a grand statement about what you’ve discovered about life.

I’m in the mood to say nothing today but since I committed to saying something daily this is all I have to offer.

 

Here’s an idea

I’ve been thinking about trying something new.

The idea of a podcast appeals to me for various reasons, one of which is that it’ll help me to use my voice more and give me a space to speak about things I don’t usually talk about.

And it reminds me about why I started blogging in the first place. Writing about things that matter to me and being able to express myself through written words is important to me but being able to do that using my voice is even better.

I don’t know what kind of podcast I’d create or if it’s something I’d want to do alone or with guests.

Right now it’s just an idea but maybe one day I’ll bring it to life.

 

The push-back

Because every action has an equal and opposite reaction.

I’ve been using the term push-back for a while. I use it to refer to how we react to negative/un-ideal circumstances.

But not any reaction just the specific ones often done when our emotions are heightened and we’re angry or frustrated.

Imagine you’re a kid and you’re parents refuse to give you the freedom you desire. It’s quite likely that you’ll be annoyed and find some way (even if it’s small) to rebel.
Maybe that’s always coming home late or creating a secret life for yourself like haha I’ll show you.

Or as an adult maybe you have lots of goals and plans and someone tells you to slow down or that you’re doing too much.  If that’s not what you’re happy to hear you might end up just doubling down on all your stuff and possibly burning out. That’s a form of pushing back.

However, there are other ways that you can choose to handle or manage situations. For example, you’re trying to get your book published you get 101 rejections so you decide to self publish.

It’s a reaction to an un-ideal situation but it isn’t out of anger or frustration. A push-back could have been getting rid of your book or replying to the rejections in anger and frustration. But you have to think about what’s actually helpful.

It might feel good to push-back but it might be more helpful to think about what the kindest and most helpful thing you can do for yourself to overcome the situation is.