The fear of being seen

Being quiet stops people from noticing you as much, except they always notice that you’re quiet.

In certain environments this is seen as a bad thing sometimes because it bothers people.

Perhaps I simply fear being seen yet I’m happy to show up with my words online or my appearance in person through ‘interesting’ outfits.

After all its not me, it’s my words or it’s not me,it’s my dress.

I’m feel like being quiet is something you’re meant to grow out of so maybe I’m just stubborn.

But I’m working on it.

Thinking of you and getting things done

Sometimes I wonder about the people that read my blog.

How old are you?

What do you do for a living?

Are you into fashion (I am!)?

What do you like about my blog?

What do you want to see more of?

Some of those questions are worth asking more than others but overall I’m not sure that I can say it’s information that I need.

It’s just my curiosity.

Sometimes when we’re working on a task or project we focus too much on things that don’t actually add to the work that we’re doing.

Granted sometimes they do add to the work but if the majority of my effort or time is going into something that is only a small part of the work overall, then I wont end up with the result that I really want.

Monday night was special

There I stood on a Monday night in a room full of strangers, in a city that was slowly becoming more and more familiar.

I was there to do something I never thought I’d get to do. I never thought there was a chance that my favourite singer from New Zealand who now lives in New York would ever come to England.

But she did and so the day the tickets went on sale I bought one.

That was over 6 months ago.

And on Monday night I finally got to see her live.

Her voice was beautiful, she was beautiful and it felt special being there as she performed songs about love, war and death.

The same songs that I had listened to on buses, trains and walks.

The songs that picked me up and songs that I sat with when I felt down and needed comfort.

Her show ended with an old favourite and the crowd clapped and sang along.

I left full of gratitude for the art that was shared that night and that good feeling that comes from hearing the songs you love.

 

A return to childhood things

I was 18 years old sitting on a swing in a park at dusk. I felt lost at the time and also a little hopeless. I didn’t know what to do, what I should or even could do and so I sat swinging on the swing.

It was a return to something I loved to do as a kid that brought me joy at a time in my life when I needed it.

The spirit of your childhood self works like a medicine, it can clear the fog in your mind and give you a fresh perspective.

With age we often loose that spark we had as children that freedom and care free attitude.

I used to do all kinds of things when I was younger just because I could at school I played football and netball but was also in the dance, music, cooking and sewing club. I was probably the worst on the netball team and my sense of rhythm is enthusiastic, but it was always still fun.

I did things because the opportunity was there, and I took it. For me it was always just about doing things, not about how good I was or being better than anyone else.

That is probably one of the main things I miss as I’ve gotten older and as I spend more time returning to the pastimes of my past self, I’m also making an effort to return to that old mindset.

Do more, think less.

45 Minute friendship

So there we were 2 strangers on the train sitting in first class. The train had come to a standstill as there were some issues at the train ahead.

We heard a voice over the loudspeaker suggesting that depending on our destination we should either get off the current train and travel via a different route or get the bus.

Based on where I was headed the bus was my only option and as people started to leave the train I began talking to a stranger who looked just as inconvenienced as I felt.

So we got chatting, left the train and got the bus together as we were heading in the same location.

Even though we’d just met, there was a level of comfort/familiarity as though we weren’t strangers, as if we were already friends.

Our conversation was pretty open but we were by no means BFFs, we were instead 2 strangers caught in an inconvenient situation who perhaps both thought that it might be easier to have someone else to get through it with.

We reached the point of parting around 45 minutes after we met and just like that the friendship was over.