The feeling of fitting in

When we’re focused on how we appear to others, we can end up doing things that we don’t actually enjoy.

We become so focused on perception that we don’t even consider the importance of prioritising ourselves. It’s worth acknowledging that sometimes we have a need to feel accepted. When your self esteem is low it’s easy to fall into thinking that just being you isn’t enough.

However, the problem is that the feeling of fitting in and being accepted will only ever be temporary when you aren’t truly being yourself.

Order status update

I recently placed an online order from a beauty retailer and one from a fashion retailer. Both orders were delayed and the companies handled things totally differently.

One company handled it by providing regular email updates on the status of my order, to apologise for their delay and assure me that I’d receive my parcel as soon as possible.

The other company did nothing, in fact I had to contact them to try and find out what the issue was.

Something as simple as an email was enough for me to feel like a company cared. It wasn’t personal but the choice to send an update gave the message that they value their customers enough to let them know what is going on.

I think sometimes we underestimate the impact that something simple can have. But you don’t always have to solve the problem, sometimes just acknowledging that there is one is more than enough.

All ideas welcome

When you’re used to doing things alone, the thought of asking other people for their input, ideas or opinion might not be so appealing.

But often seeking the perspective of an outsider is much more useful than we realise. They’re able to see things from a point of view that is not so easily available to us.

I think sometimes we just want to say that we did things totally and independently, we don’t want other people playing a part or being involved. But if we could only welcome input, ideas and opinions from the right people it could actually be the very thing we need to help us when we get stuck.

Why you’re not as productive as you could be

So often in life we feel like we’re super busy but in reality we aren’t actually getting anything done.

Perhaps you’re the sort of person who always has at least 7 things on the go. You feel like you’re busy but really you’re just overwhelmed. You’re overwhelmed because you’re not allowing your mind to focus.

Instead of finishing one task before you start the next one, you’re doing little bits of each task, flitting from one thing to the next. Then suddenly you find yourself rushing to try and complete everything. More often than not things don’t actually get finished.

Or perhaps you believe in multi-tasking. Things like baking whilst listening to a podcast or making notes at a webinar are fine. The issue arises when you’re baking and trying to make notes whilst listening to something. Or maybe you’re writing, watching a show, playing a game and checking social media.

I think we sometimes underestimate the effect that focusing on one thing at a time can have on our ability to be productive.

In our bid to be productive, feel busy and get lots done we often end up over complicating things.

We’re much better off, slowing down and focusing on one thing at a time

Backing down is easy

If you’re in a situation that you anticipate could be challenging, you may feel like the best thing to do is back down. That way you no longer have to deal with things or worry about the outcome being far from ideal.

But backing down can also mean that you aren’t willing to stand up for yourself. Sometimes we convince ourselves that backing down is the right thing to do. Other times, we worry that by not backing down, we’re making things difficult for others.

You end up being so considerate of other people that you’re not even willing to stand up for yourself. Backing down is easy and sometimes it might even be the right thing to do. However, if you’re backing down out of fear or your desire to please or appease others then maybe you’ll be better off standing your ground.

How they used to be

The way that things are right now, probably isn’t how they used to be.

I think it’s important to acknowledge when things have changed.

Something that was good 2 years ago might not be so good anymore. And so there is not much use to clinging on to the way that things were because they are that way no longer.

Instead, take things for what they are right now, in the present moment.

Holding yourself back

I think one of the most common things that holds us back and stops us achieving our goals/aspirations is not focusing on the long term.

You’re so focused on every little thing that you have to do right now that you’re missing the bigger picture.

It might seem like it takes a lot of effort to be the type of person that is committed and disciplined, the type of person that you want to be.

But you have to start small. However, that doesn’t mean you should forget the bigger picture.

It’s really just a case of doing things now that you know will benefit you later.

Instead we often end up making excuses because it turns out what we want might actually require more effort than we’re willing to give.

Remembering the dream

Sometimes the life paths we choose end up getting distorted by distractions and we end up making choices to reach goals that we don’t even really aspire to.

You might find that in order to move forwards, you actually need to go back and figure out what you really wanted in the first place.

Many times we end up sacrificing our aspirations because we’re too focused on other peoples opinions. We’re so focused on what everyone else is doing that we fall into thinking our dreams are not enough or it no longer feels possible.

But I think it’s important to remember the dream that you had. When you take the time to think about what you really want, you can start shifting your focus to what actually matters.

How to overcome being ignored

Some things are worth waiting for but sometimes you’re better off just calling it quits and moving on to something else.

Just because you can wait, doesnt mean that you should.

What do you do when you’re speaking and nobody is listening?

Do you speak louder and hope that people start to pay attention, do you give up or do you find another way to overcome being ignored?

Being ignored is difficult. It can hurt your feelings, effect your self-esteem and lead you to feel frustrated.

If you’re already being ignored speaking louder might work but it might just lead to more of the same. Giving up sometimes feels like the best option, especially when you’re tired of trying to be heard. But when you decide to give up, the problem you were trying to speak up about still remains.

And then you have the last option, find another way. This might take more time and more effort but in the end it’ll be worth it. When you find a way to overcome a difficult situation it reminds you of your perseverance and ability to overcome challenges.

None of it matters as much you think it does

Facebook, Instagram and WhatsApp are all so heavily integrated into our daily lives that to be without them (even just for a few hours) is difficult.

Suddenly, you’re having to figure out what to do with your time instead of spending it scrolling.

Conversations that have been going for days or even weeks have now come to a standstill but you still have so much to say.

And now, you have no idea what the the people you are connected to online are doing, eating or wearing.

Somehow all of this stuff seems important yet at the same time, when those 3 apps went down on Monday 4th October 2021 you also realised that none of matters as much as you often think it does.