The right time is now

Sometimes you need a few words of encouragement to get started. maybe you’re afraid and keep putting things off because you think it will be much eaiser to do it later.

Instead you find that the longer you wait, the less you feel ready to begin.

You make excuses like it’s not the right time, you’re not good enough or that you need to spend more time planning and preparing. And it’s okay to need more time but it’s not much use without having a deadline for when you will begin. You could end up planning for the next 10 months.

You have to start changing the way you think about things, it’s rare that anything needs to be perfect before you begin putting it out for people. It could be blog posts, YouTube videos, a podcast or a bunch of other stuff.

The right time is now so don’t put off starting any longer.

If you think you might forget

Write it down.

Sometimes when preparing to have particular types of conversations we spend a lot of time gathering information and planning what we want to say.

We do this because we want to be prepared and we want things to run smoothly. Also, many of us have probably had situations where we got flustered or overwhelmed and forgot what we’d planned to say.

However, despite this, we sometimes don’t end up writing things down.

Maybe it feels silly and you’re worried about sounding rigid when you talk or appearing to be reading off some sort of script. And so when we have the conversation, even if it goes alright, once it’s over we realise their were things we forgot to say.

Setting boundaries badly

I think a big reason why we sometimes avoid setting boundaries is because we think don’t know how to do it. However, it turns out the setting boundaries is like everything else, getting good takes practice.

And so like Zig Ziglar said ‘anything worth doing is worth doing poorly until you can learn to do it well’.

Instead of shying away from setting boundaries because you think you’ll do it badly, embrace where you’re at and in time you’ll get better at it.

Letting things pile up

Little problems can suddenly become big problems.

It is so important to address things in the moment instead of brushing them off, waiting or saying nothing.

When you do this you’ll find that days, weeks or even months later you’re bringing stuff up that were (according to the other person) not an issue when they happened. And this can then make you seem disingenuous because you pretended that everything was okay instead of raising the issue in the moment.

I think it’s important to be clear about what you do and don’t accept. And then practice voicing that to the people around you so that they are aware of what you’re not okay with.

That way, you never have to let things pile up because that person is already aware. Sometimes we tell ourselves that by saying nothing we are avoiding confrontation or protecting the other persons feelings from getting hurt. However, more often than not we just end up causing ourselves more issues.

Getting what you want

As much as you may say you want certain things, you might not want them as much as you think you do.

For example, wanting a dog but not wanting the extra responsibility required. It could be wanting a promotion but not the mentoring and leadership you’ll be required to give to colleagues once you’re higher up in the company.

It can actually end up being for the best to not get what you want because when you get it you won’t really want it. Sometimes we only realise this in hindsight. However, I like to believe that is the reason why certain things just don’t work out.

It might be frustrating in the moment but you’ll be much better off getting what you want instead of getting what you think you want.

Outcome based actions

If you want someone to trust you then getting angry when they try to open up won’t help.

It is so important that what you do reflects the way you want things to turn out, otherwise what’s the point?

You can’t just go around doing whatever you want and expecting or hoping that everything will turn out your way.

You have to ensure that your actions are in line with your desired outcome. But you also have to remember that sometimes things just won’t quite turn out the way you want them to.

Bridging the gap

There is a gap between our wants and our actions.

For example, the gap between wanting to do better and actually doing better.

I believe that there is a always a gap but by putting in the effort little by little you’re able to bridge the gap. However, their is also the danger of falling into the gap by becoming inconsistent, uncommitted and making excuses. Essentially, your actions are no longer aligned with the things you say you want.

An example of this could be if your want is to become healthier but your action is eating chocolate cake for breakfast instead of something to provide nourishment to your body.

When you know what you want the focus should be on bridging the gap. Reflect on if the actions you’re taking are bringing you closer to where you want to be. Now this doesn’t mean never eating chocolate cake again but it probably means you shouldn’t be eating it everyday.

The power of letting go

When it comes to making things happen, we sometimes underestimate the power of letting things go.

We have to make room in our lives for the things we want instead of holding on to the things we no longer need for the sake of nostalgia or fear of change. Sometimes, we feel like letting go means we don’t value things. Other times, we convince ourselves that holding on to the memories will not be enough.

You might even be holding on to the fear that if you let go of something you’ll end up wanting it back or that nothing else good will come into your life.

But letting go is powerful.

It shows that you’re not willing to keep what you don’t need, that you believe better is possible and that you’re open.

On the flipside, holding on to things that you no longer need shows the total opposite.

A different kind of perfect

Think of something in your life that is not quite where you want it to be. Close your eyes and visualise waht it would be like if it was perfect.

Most of us have things in our lives that we wish were at least a little bit different to how they are right now. We have ideas or daydreams in out minds of the way way we wish things were or the way we’d like things to be. Sometimes we hold on so tight to these ideas and daydreams that we end up beeleiving they are the only path to take for things turning out perfectly (or at least just good).

But of course that’s not the case. Things could turn out 101 different ways and still be perfect. By holding on to a single vision of perfection you close yourself off to all the other kinds of perfect that you may never have anticipated.

You don’t need to rely on remembering

If you have lots to get done and you find that you keep forgetting things a to do list might be a useful tool to start using.

You don’t have to rely on remembering everything, instead you can just write it all down, give yourself deadlines and figure out the things that matter most.

Then, you can start working through the list and keep going back to it until everything is done.

The alternative is to try rely on your memory, keep it all in your mind and risk forgetting to do something that needs to be done.