Letting things pile up

Little problems can suddenly become big problems.

It is so important to address things in the moment instead of brushing them off, waiting or saying nothing.

When you do this you’ll find that days, weeks or even months later you’re bringing stuff up that were (according to the other person) not an issue when they happened. And this can then make you seem disingenuous because you pretended that everything was okay instead of raising the issue in the moment.

I think it’s important to be clear about what you do and don’t accept. And then practice voicing that to the people around you so that they are aware of what you’re not okay with.

That way, you never have to let things pile up because that person is already aware. Sometimes we tell ourselves that by saying nothing we are avoiding confrontation or protecting the other persons feelings from getting hurt. However, more often than not we just end up causing ourselves more issues.

Inconsiderate

Sometimes simply doing something for yourself is considered inconsiderate or even selfish. The idea of helping others is sometimes pushed so far that people expect you to do it at the expense of yourself.

And of course there are those that are willing to give the shirts off their own back but it should be a choice, not something you’ve been guilted into.

People might call you inconsiderate for choosing to prioritise yourself over them and it might hurt your feelings. It might hurt so much that you decide to keep putting other people first. But the other option is to accept that persons opinion and continue doing what is best for you because you matter too.

Change the way you respond

If something happens and your feelings get hurt or you don’t like the way that someone has treated you, it’s important to do something about it.

It’s easy to get into the habit of sheepishly speaking up then cowering and retreating when the other person shuts you down.

When this happens, the other person learns that they can easily over step your boundary and essentially disrespect you.

And so it continues on and on until you change the way you respond.

You have to back yourself, speak up for the things you’re not okay with and make it clear that you aren’t willing to accept certain things.

It may sound simple for some but for others the idea that they don’t have to just accept being treated poorly is kinda revolutionary.