Some days are easier than others.
I have days when the words pour out with such ease that it can be hard to keep up. But I also have days when I’ll open my laptop to write and after 30 minutes I’ve gone back and forth on the same few sentences and I have a total of 23 words on the page.
But by posting daily I can’t rely on the days when it’s easy to write because those moments don’t come 7 days a week.
Instead I’ve taught myself to work through the days when the words don’t come as easy and still end up with something I’m happy to share.
I find that once I’m willing to try and write the ‘block’ eventually dissolves and out pour the words.
I’ve been thinking about trying something new.
The idea of a podcast appeals to me for various reasons, one of which is that it’ll help me to use my voice more and give me a space to speak about things I don’t usually talk about.
And it reminds me about why I started blogging in the first place. Writing about things that matter to me and being able to express myself through written words is important to me but being able to do that using my voice is even better.
I don’t know what kind of podcast I’d create or if it’s something I’d want to do alone or with guests.
Right now it’s just an idea but maybe one day I’ll bring it to life.
How does it feel when you realise you’re living your dreams.
I’d consider myself to be a bit of a dreamer.
I daydream/visualise about my future on a regular basis sometimes intentionally and sometimes on accident.
I often find that months or years later that thing I was daydreaming about is part of my reality.
And it can be something like the kind of person I want to meet or an aspect of my lifestyle.
It fascinates me that you can have days where you’re happily going through life and then you suddenly realise that last year you’d been dreaming about being where you are right now.
Because every action has an equal and opposite reaction.
I’ve been using the term push-back for a while. I use it to refer to how we react to negative/un-ideal circumstances.
But not any reaction just the specific ones often done when our emotions are heightened and we’re angry or frustrated.
Imagine you’re a kid and you’re parents refuse to give you the freedom you desire. It’s quite likely that you’ll be annoyed and find some way (even if it’s small) to rebel.
Maybe that’s always coming home late or creating a secret life for yourself like haha I’ll show you.
Or as an adult maybe you have lots of goals and plans and someone tells you to slow down or that you’re doing too much. If that’s not what you’re happy to hear you might end up just doubling down on all your stuff and possibly burning out. That’s a form of pushing back.
However, there are other ways that you can choose to handle or manage situations. For example, you’re trying to get your book published you get 101 rejections so you decide to self publish.
It’s a reaction to an un-ideal situation but it isn’t out of anger or frustration. A push-back could have been getting rid of your book or replying to the rejections in anger and frustration. But you have to think about what’s actually helpful.
It might feel good to push-back but it might be more helpful to think about what the kindest and most helpful thing you can do for yourself to overcome the situation is.
Often when we talk about difficult things we get so caught up in the story that we end up dwelling on it.
Sometimes to the point where we end up reliving it and our bodies remember exactly how it felt.
It could be a time you felt rejected, overwhelmed or ignored.
It’s not difficult to understand that those are things you might want to speak about. But it is important that you’re not just talking about it for the sake of it.
Talking is an amazing tool that you can use to help get past or overcome challenges but also just to get things off your chest.
However, if every few days you’re having conversations telling the same story about a situation that didn’t feel good, that’s just dwelling and it’s probably not going to benefit you in any way either.
It’s like that popular quote says:
Where attention goes energy flows
If you catch yourself telling the same stories over and over stop and ask, why?
It could be because you’re not over it and you still have strong emotions attached to whatever happened. If it’s something you want to get past, start with learning how to let go.
I think it’s important to get to know yourself. Not just on a surface level but right down deep to the core.
Not just your likes and dislikes but your beliefs and why you do the things you do.
Something I’ve always focused on is behaviour. When you find yourself doing and saying things or feeling like you are making a choice to act a certain way, if you take a step back you might come to realise that you’ve just been falling into a familiar habit loop over and over again.
That you’ve become so accustomed to your past behaviour that you turn to it whenever similar situations occur without actually considering if it’s the best way to respond.
So next time you’re about to get riled up or raise your voice ask yourself ‘Is this something I want to do or am I just doing it because it’s familiar?’
The answer might surprise you.
Just as ‘you’re not you when you’re hungry’ is the same way you’re not you when you’re worried.
A person that worries chronically may end up having sleep problems, self-harming and developing fidget habits like pulling at their hair.
Those kinds of behaviours often end up overshadowing a persons core self and then others fall into thinking that those things are who they are.
But when you remove worry from the equation you feel a sense of freedom. You have room to maneuver, you have room to be.
You’ll feel like a whole new you and begin experience life in a way that is so far from what you’re familiar with.
Life will feel easier or at least much more manageable but it’s not that you’ll never worry again. It’s that the worry will come and pass like the flow of water rather than being something that stays with you long term and ends up being debilitating and reducing your quality of life.
If you have a worry habit, the idea of being without it probably sounds like bliss (with a hint of fear because you’re so familiar with worrying it seems strange to think about being without it.
It might be hard to believe but it is possible to significantly reduce worry and not have it as such a dominant part of your identity, you just have to figure out how.