For many people, how they value themselves comes from other people.
This can be great when people are treating you well but when not so much when you’re treated poorly. You go from feeling good about yourself to not feeling good enough and because you’ve become reliant on other people to determine your value.
It may even get to the point where you almost feel lost and are unable to truly establish how you feel about yourself without it coming from other people. And so, you feel down and worthless whilst also blaming other people for how you feel.
I think that stage of blaming others continues until you’re able to realise that nobody else should be in control of how you feel about yourself. That’s not a solid foundation.
Timing really is everything.
If you want to be current (or even ahead of the curve) you have to be intentional about when you bring up particular topics.
The right time is probably considered to be when enough people are interested in order for your work to gain some traction.
Anytime before that and it’s likely to be overlooked.
Anytime after that and people are no longer interested, they’ve moved on to the next hot topic.
When making a decision you might find yourself making a pros and cons list.
The choice you make in the end is likely to be based on whether the cons make the benefits worth it.
But sometimes we focus too much on the short-term. Making a particular decision might be great right now, great in 6 months and even great in a year. However, in 2 years or 5 years it will end up being something you regret.
Or, perhaps we allow short-term pros to outweigh long-term cons.
It could be taking a job where you earn way more money but isn’t in a field you want to progress in. Maybe the alternative was a job in the field you’re interested in but you passed it up because the salary is lower and the commute is longer.
In the short-term you’re earning more money and you’re journey to work is shorter. But in the long-term you’re progressing in a job you don’t want to be in which probably means you’re not as happy as you could be.
On the flipside, if you’d chosen the other job in the short-term you’re salary would be lower and your commute would be longer. However in the long-term, your salary will increase, you’re progressing in field you’re interested in, you may choose to move closer to work and have a shorter commute or perhaps you now work from home 2 or 3 days a week and best of all you’re happier.
I daydream of you and I,
In a field of flowers,
Laying side by side.
My hand in your hand,
Your skin on my skin,
With nothing to hide.
No words spoken,
Only gazing at each other,
Glad to be alive.
I’m a big believer in creativity, in art and in making things.
That’s the thing that has always been my joy in life.
It’s not something that I do for a living or get paid for. However, I value it just as much, if not more than my day job.
It feels special to make things, to work my hands to allow something to be transformed into something else.
I don’t think I’ve been doing that enough lately. I’ve had small moments here and there but not enough consistency.
That’s what I’m missing right now, immersing myself in making, creating and using my hands.
If you set any sort of goals, plans or intentions for 2021, now is the perfect time to check in.
You’ve had a month to live the year so far and maybe what you thought you wanted to do or ahcve has now chnaged.
The ‘magic’ of the new year has now faded, perhaps your thoughts on what you want have become much clearer.
Read through what you wrote last month and see if it still fits with the your overall vision for 2021.
Perhaps you’ll find that you were putting too much pressure on yourself to make up for 2020, maybe you haven’t been ambitious enough or it could just be that you made plans that you’re no longer interested in pursuing.
I recently listened to an episode of Akimbo where a listener asked Seth about who he thought his audience was. Seth’s answer was pretty wonderful.
It got me thinking about my own audience, my readers, people like you.
For me it’s never been about appealing to a particular demographic, age, race, social class, etc. I’ve always wanted to create a space where you can come as you are. I like to think if it as us sitting in a circle and me telling a story.
My readers are people with a curiosity for life, people who notice things, people like you and people like me.
Around 6 or 7 years ago I thought that I needed to be ‘inspirational’ and needed to be someone that others would put on a pedestal. I thought that was the way that it should be.
In aspiring to that, I then found myself getting distracted by the idea of not being good enough especially when the numbers weren’t high enough.
These days I just focus on the writing.
Last year there were lots of discussions, tweets and conversations about how we’re in a pandemic, you don’t need to do xyz it’s totally okay if all you did was survive.
The thing is, of course you don’t need to do anything new or different with your time. That statement has always been true. But if you want to and if you feel like you can, why not choose to do something new?
And even if you don’t feel like it, even if you’re anxious and overwhelmed maybe trying 10 minutes of aerobics or a breath work exercise might actually help.
I think learning or doing something new during a period where you have more free time than usual is a great idea.
The reason for this is whether you sit around passively watching YouTube all day or try out a couple of new recipes every week, the same amount of time has still gone by.
You don’t need to force yourself to do things you don’t want to do, pick something that you will enjoy.
And you don’t need to use up all your free time, it could be 20 minutes of meditation each day or a few hours a week doing an online course.
You don’t need to post about it online and it doesn’t make you better than others because you’ve now started a successful business or have perfected the crème brûlée.
The focus should be on how you feel about the way that you’re choosing to live and the way that you’re spending your time.
Do you ever have those days when you feel stuck and even though you know exactly what you need to do to get unstuck, you still do nothing?
And what you need to do could be incredibly simple. It could be as simple as watching your favoutite Key and Peele sketch on youtube, listening to your favourite pick me up song or maybe a breathwork mediation.
You might feel like doing something simple won’t help or maybe you feel like you don’t have the time. But it’s important to make the time because the feeling of being stuck won’t go away unless you do something about it.
No matter the kind of life that you live, I think it is important to regularly switch up your routine.
Spend a day or even just a few hours doing something you wouldn’t usually do.
The first reason is just to keep things fresh. It’s good to switch things up and experiment with how you spend your time and structure your days.
But the second reason is to check in with how you’re currently living.
Sometimes it takes time away from your usual routine for you to realise that you are unsatisfied with your present life circumstances.