When it comes to this blog, I’m in charge of the writing process and you are in charge of the rest. That includes the views, likes, comments and how popular each post gets.
As the creator, as much as you might want to be, you can’t be in control of the numbers and of how well your work performs because that’s not your role.
Your role is to do the work and as long as you’re doing it well, you have to learn to be okay with everything that comes with it.
Obviously if you earn a living from creating, the stakes are much higher. You might need to report back to someone and of course what they want to hear is that the numbers have gone up and at worst that they’ve stayed the same.
However, in spite of the above, I think it’s good to look at the numbers occasionally (even if they don’t affect your income). It can be useful to see the kind of stuff that is performing well. For example, one of my most popular posts is about Instagram and I’m also aware that my posts about being a writer and the writing process tend to do fairly well. I enjoy writing about those topics so choosing to do more of that would be a win-win for me as the writer and you as the reader. I wouldn’t have that knowledge without looking at the numbers.
But most importantly, the key is to not become so attached to the point that you’re happy when the numbers are up and sad when they’re down. The only thing you need to do is create.
I have this belief about the people that we meet.
I believe that sometimes we meet people who may be in our lives for a few days, a few months or maybe for years and years but we meet them and they become reminders. They remind us of the way that things can be.
Maybe there is something in your life that is challenging, frustrating, difficult or stressful, the total opposite of easeful. Chances are, within your mind you know that things could or even should be different but you’re so used to the way that things are that you just allow them to remain.
Then all of a sudden you meet a person that shows you a different way. It can be shocking or surprising because you’re not used to it. Maybe you even judge it as being wrong or not the way that things should be because you’re so used to them being otherwise. Sometimes the ease of the situation is the very thing that you’ve been longing for but when you get it, you almost resist because you’ve gotten used to things being difficult .
I think that’s something a lot of people struggle with. So many people are used to things being difficult that they almost get hesitant when things become easier. Sometimes we unknowingly use the challenge and the difficulty to justify getting the thing we want. You end up feeling as though if you didn’t have to struggle to achieve something then you didn’t really deserve it. I think it’s healthy to let go of that mindset, not everything has to be difficult.
As much as it is easy to remain stagnant it requires much less effort than expected in order to get the ball rolling.
It could be as simple as making a phone call, sending an email or booking something.
We make things much more challenging than they really are by thinking that we have to complete the thing in one giant leap rather than step by step.
We under estimate the power of little by little because we can’t see the bigger picture.
It might start with a phone call but then it moves on to something else and then something else which goes on and on until suddenly you’ve completed the thing you were working towards.
Life is about balance. It’s unlikely that you’ll ever be able to pay equal attention to all things constantly. Instead you give more attention to different areas of your life when necessary.
And that means that at certain points, some things will have to take a back seat. Perhaps when you’re focusing more on work, you spend less time with friends. Or when you’re focused on saving you spend less time going out for drinks/food. But when you’re focused on improving your health and fitness you spend more time working out and cooking.
Sometimes, after a period of focusing on one thing, you might find yourself feeling guilty for having put other things aside, even though it was for the best.
Something has to give because you can’t give 100% of your effort to every aspect of your life at once.
However, you can’t just totally neglect an aspect of your life, the trick is to balance your time so that you’re not so focused on one thing that everything else falls apart.
We grow up carrying around certain beliefs, ideas and perspectives. We have things that we tell ourselves we wouldn’t do. It could be anything from playing sports to wearing false nails, hiring a cleaner to watching stand up comedy.
These aspects help shape the kind of people we end up becoming.
However, sometimes we reach a crossing where we want to explore other aspects of ourselves without the limitations we had previously used to form our identities.
Perhaps you now want to try something that conflicts with the ideas or beliefs of your past.
It could be something that appears small to others yet for you this change almost feels like a betrayal. It means you’re no longer the person you thought you were/would be.
It’s especially difficult when you start becoming or experimenting with things that you associate with the kind of person you used to judge and make negative assumptions about.
It is your perspective that makes life good or bad not your circumstances. You could have 2 days where how you feel is drastically different but nothing has really changed.
There are days when life may feel wonderfully fantastic and other times when you feel rather blue.
It can be difficult to manage this and it may feel like only one of these feelings can be true.
But life is varied and complex.
Both feelings can be true, both are true.
For many people, how they value themselves comes from other people.
This can be great when people are treating you well but when not so much when you’re treated poorly. You go from feeling good about yourself to not feeling good enough and because you’ve become reliant on other people to determine your value.
It may even get to the point where you almost feel lost and are unable to truly establish how you feel about yourself without it coming from other people. And so, you feel down and worthless whilst also blaming other people for how you feel.
I think that stage of blaming others continues until you’re able to realise that nobody else should be in control of how you feel about yourself. That’s not a solid foundation.
Timing really is everything.
If you want to be current (or even ahead of the curve) you have to be intentional about when you bring up particular topics.
The right time is probably considered to be when enough people are interested in order for your work to gain some traction.
Anytime before that and it’s likely to be overlooked.
Anytime after that and people are no longer interested, they’ve moved on to the next hot topic.
When making a decision you might find yourself making a pros and cons list.
The choice you make in the end is likely to be based on whether the cons make the benefits worth it.
But sometimes we focus too much on the short-term. Making a particular decision might be great right now, great in 6 months and even great in a year. However, in 2 years or 5 years it will end up being something you regret.
Or, perhaps we allow short-term pros to outweigh long-term cons.
It could be taking a job where you earn way more money but isn’t in a field you want to progress in. Maybe the alternative was a job in the field you’re interested in but you passed it up because the salary is lower and the commute is longer.
In the short-term you’re earning more money and you’re journey to work is shorter. But in the long-term you’re progressing in a job you don’t want to be in which probably means you’re not as happy as you could be.
On the flipside, if you’d chosen the other job in the short-term you’re salary would be lower and your commute would be longer. However in the long-term, your salary will increase, you’re progressing in field you’re interested in, you may choose to move closer to work and have a shorter commute or perhaps you now work from home 2 or 3 days a week and best of all you’re happier.
I daydream of you and I,
In a field of flowers,
Laying side by side.
My hand in your hand,
Your skin on my skin,
With nothing to hide.
No words spoken,
Only gazing at each other,
Glad to be alive.