One thing I’ve notice is how busy we all seem to be. We’re constantly going from one thing to the next and wishing for more hours in the day.
But how often do you consider that it’s a choice?
Do you ever consider that you can stop, slow down and do less?
We fill our days with meetings, social media, main projects, side projects, shows, music, YouTube, socialising and so on.
But what if instead you decided to be a little more intentional about how you spend your time.
Instead of filling up your day with a bunch of stuff, why not be more selective? Why not pick and choose what is actually worth doing?
Furthermore, you could even block out time each day or week to do specific things or even just time to do nothing.
When you feel like you’re making progress having to then take a step back is a big deal. It feels like you’ve wasted your efforts but more importantly time that you can’t get back.
But if you change your perspective, those steps back could actually be a good thing.
Perhaps you were heading down an unhelpful path and now gain clarity.
I think the main thing is to understand that a setback doesn’t stop you from reaching your end goal it just changes the path you take to get there.
No matter how much you plan and prepare you always encounter unexpected situations.
In the moment it can be easy to end up feeling overwhelmed after all this is not what you wanted, it’s not what you planned for.
And so you have two choices. The first is to get caught up in the unexpected and the feeling of things being out of your control. The second is to take a moment to check in and ask yourself whether this unexpected situation poses any real risk. Most of the time the answer is no, in fact you have something to gain.
Unexpected situations can serve as an opportunity to learn how to be more adaptable which is a pretty valuable thing.
For a large group of people they’ve spent most at least 4 months of the year working from home. They’ve had to adjust and adapt to a new environment whilst still maintaining the same work output that would be delivered in the office.
Despite the difficulties I think everyone gains something working from home. For some people those gains actually outweigh the losses.
The main thing is that you have more control over how you spend your time.
It could be starting early and finishing early or starting and finishing late.
Spending your morning working on personal projects.
Organising your work time to give you a few hours of leisure in the late morning to early afternoon.
Perhaps it’s being able to dress however you want and cook meals instead of just buying something or heating something up in the microwave.
Maybe, you’ve gained more time to spend with the people you love because you no longer have to commute.
As much as it might be difficult, challenging and inconvenient to work from home, it’s worth acknowledging the good bits.
…as you would have them do unto you.
The idea of treating people as you’d want to be treated is all good and well in theory.
But when it comes down to the crunch, is it what you practice in your day to day life.
When people talk about this topic of how we should treat other people, often they’re thinking of how they want to be treated. Yet the same kindness, respect, honestly, understanding and patience is not extended to others.
It doesn’t mean that you’re cruel to people, it could be something as small as not holding the door open for people but expecting others to do it for you.
Sometimes it’s intentional and sometimes it’s by accident. But when you catch yourself treating someone in a way you would not want to be treated, change your behavior.
I first came across Zig Ziglar after hearing Seth Godin mention him. I later listened to one his talks on YouTube, This is your brain and here’s how it works.
It was a few years ago but I jotted down a some quotes that I thought were worth sharing:
- Positive thinking won’t let you do anything but it it will let you do everything better than negative thinking will.
- Motivation isn’t permanent.
- Opportunity is where you are, most people simply overlook it.
- The person you are and the person who people think you are , are many times entirely different people.
- You cannot consistently perform in a manner which is inconsistent with the way you see yourself.
I once wrote that perfection is a falsehood. I stand by that statement. Perfection doesn’t really exist becuase of 2 things: perception and possibility.
What may seem perfect to one person will be viewed differently by another. Perceptions of others might end up changing your own view of your work. But perfection will never be universal because not everything is for everyone.
The end result of anything you do is based on picking one option out of several. But if at certain stages you found yourself caught between perhaps 2 out of the 5 options, when you’re finally done you may wonder about the possibilities of the other options. You might find yourself thinking, maybe it would have been even better if you chose the other option.
So why not let go of the perfectionism, something you’ll never truly achieve. Instead focus on the joy joy of creating your work and getting better and better over time.
I wrote about boundaries in a recent post but upon reflection I had more to add.
Sometimes even when you are aware of a persons boundaries and you know it has nothing to do with you, you still try to overstep the mark. A person will do it in small or subtle ways because they are curious whilst also being aware they have to tread carefully.
But when you catch them overstepping in the moment they’re likely to respond by telling you that they didn’t mean it or that they didn’t relaise that it was an issue. perhaps they try to tell you that there is no issue at all.
When it comes to over stepping a boundary it’s really about respect. When you can see a clear boundary you have to decide if it is more important to follow that curiosity or to simply respect what the other person does and doesn’t want
There’s no need to skirt around the issue.
Being clear with your words might seem like a simple thing to do. Yet if you reflect on conversations you’ve had and the things you’ve said recently you might find times when you haven’t been so clear.
It might have been because you weren’t really thinking in the moment but upon reflection you can see that you should have chose your words more carefully.
However, it could also be that the words you chose in the moment weren’t totally honest. Maybe you were scared to say how you really feel.
Either way what ends up happening is you’re not happy with the response you get from the person you were talking to. It’s not because you didn’t agree with them but instead because their response wasn’t addressing what you really had to say.
Next time try being a little clearer and say what you really mean.
You can learn a lot from someone by simply observing them.
I recently noticed in a particular relationship that the other person had very clear boundaries. It wasn’t anything that had been explicitly stated but through this persons actions it was very clear what they were and were not open to.
Sometimes a persons boundaries can feel personal. You might feel that they’re being harsh and closed off toward you. On the other hand you might internalise it and end up thinking you need to put in more effort.
In the situation I experienced I could have taken it personally, in fact 5 years ago I would have. I’d have thought this means [insert monologue of dramatic over reaction here] and maybe this person doesn’t like me.
But I now understand that a boundary is for the person setting them, it has little to do with the people on the receiving end.