Sometimes we tailor what we say based on how we anticipate that our words will be received.
Sometimes it’s a conscious thing where you will intentionally not say what feels most honest or authentic. Instead you’ll say less, be more neutral and keep the enthusiasm to a minimum.
But perhaps you’re not quite aware that you’re holding back. Often when you’ve been doing something for a long time you take it on as a part of who you are. However, just because something becomes part of your identity, it doesn’t mean that it’s your truest self.
Getting back on track often requires you to put in the work to make up for the fact that you’ve fallen behind.
You may start off slow then build up momentum until suddenly you’re working twice as hard.
And this hard work is required because you’ve made a commitment, you’ve made a choice about what you’d like to achieve and you believe that you can do it.
But it’s important to remember that this extra effort is only to get back on track, it should never become your norm.
There’s a cocktail bar that offers you a free cocktail in exchange for a few personal details when you sign up to the mailing list.
Your name, email and date of birth.
I think it’s interesting that we’re willing to trade this information for a drink.
That drink might cost around $13 which is of course much more than it’s actually worth and if the glass is full of ice, it’s worth even less.
But for the bar it’s clear that giving out a free drink is worth it in exchange for your name, email and date of birth. Once you give them your information, whilst you get a free drink in return they now have permission to send you stuff and it might be stuff you don’t actually want.
More importantly, the free drink can only be redeemed by visiting the bar. So now you have to visit and when you do it’s more likely than not that you’ll also end up paying for drinks once you get you’re free one.
The easiest way to transform a space is to take everything out, make a plan for how you want things to look and then bring things back in accordingly. By doing things this way you’ll be very intentional about what you bring in as you want the room to look as good as possible.
On the flipside, if you start with the room as it is and decide to remove the things you don’t want, you’re much more likely to keep things that you don’t use or need because there is already a place for them.
This idea of decluttering applies to other aspects of life too. Removing everything brings clarity because it enables you to start over again.
And when you’re starting from scratch, it’s much easier to be clearer about what you do and don’t want in your life.
Often when it comes to periods where I’m less inspired to write, the problem has nothing to do with writing.
For example, if you’re busy and overwhelmed throughout the day, when it comes to sitting down to write in the evening it’s difficult. It’s not that you’re not inspired but instead that your mind is frazzled. You can’t focus because you’re distracted by everything else that is going on.
When you put pen to paper or fingers to keys, the words don’t flow because your mind isn’t clear. But it’s not writers block, your simply just blocked overall. And as soon as things are no longer overwhelming or you spend time to get yourself back to a more harmonious state, the writing starts to get easier again.
I recently came across an online course that I had no intention of taking but I was curious of what the price would be. It was the kind of course where someone was selling something they had taught themselves to do. I personally thought it was quite expensive and I couldn’t help but wonder the sort of person the course was aimed at.
I knew that people would be interested in the course, it was just a matter of how much someone was willing to spend. I also realised that the person selling the course had created something they could continue making money from in the months and years to come and it would require no more effort.
I got thinking about it more and more and began to think about how in order to charge a price that is considered expensive, you have to put yourself in the position of a leader. You need to be someone with something to teach, someone that people can learn from but also be trustworthy. That’s what makes people feel like what they’re paying is worth it.
Ideas of things are always beautiful and wonderful because we can make them whatever we want them to be. Reality on the other hand is much more rigid and fixed.
It’s like the ideas are the smell of a cake and reality is the actual cake. You could smell chocolate cake and anticipate it to be the best you’ve ever had but when you cut a slice and take a bite, it’s absolutely awful.
And so, I think as much as it’s important to daydream, it’s very important to focus on the reality of things because things don’t always turn out the way you imagine they will. And just like with the cake, something that smells good or even looks good doesn’t always taste good.
In a podcast episode from a while back the host answered a question about what to do if your customer, the people you’re selling to, aren’t allowing you to make enough money. The answer was something along the lines of ‘change your customer’.
If you know how much you want to make a month as a minimum and you know how many clients you can comfortably take on at once, it’ll give you an indication of how much to charge. It’ll also offer a good idea of who your customer is and who your customer isn’t.
So, often people get caught up in keeping prices low to try and attract more people. Or the tell themselves that helping others requires them to sacrifice their own wants and needs. In this case it means providing affordable services but barely scraping by financially. The reality is that low prices means you need to make a lot more sales.
Instead it is worth thinking about who you can provide services to so that you won’t need 101 sales each month or 101 clients. That might mean increasing your prices and changing your customer. Helping people shouldn’t be at your own expense. You have to Many people want to help others but that shouldn’t be at your own expense. You have to find a way to do it in a way that works for you.
That could mean providing services to a select few customers/clients that enable you to make enough money to live comfortably. Then use your spare time to provide something for free that will he helpful for those that can’t afford to pay for what you offer.
When you’re ready to change, you’ll feel it.
It could be a change of city, job, relationship, diet, hobby, hairstyle or routine.
Taking the example of work, perhaps you’re no longer passionate and motivated to achieve the things you once aspired to. Maybe in the past when you were stressed you had the motivation to get through it because it would be worth it in the end whereas now you feel the complete opposite.
Or with your morning routine, you may have had a set of 7 things you’d do every morning before starting your day. Then, all of a sudden that feels like a waste of time and you realise you’re happier to strip it back to just 3.
When you get the feeling that it’s time for change, it’s it’s important to go with it because it won’t go away.
It’s the old case of what you resist persists. And so if you don’t jump when you feel it’s time for a change, life will give you a push.
So often, we get deeply and strongly attached. We hope that things will remain as they are.
We fear that change might bring in what we don’t want and clear out what we do want.
But, I like to believe that as wonderful and perfect as things might be right now, everything could be different and still be wonderful and perfect.
That serves as a reminder that it’s okay for things to change.
There is no need to hold great attachment to the way things are, in doing so we don’t allow space for the new.
New might not be ‘better’ but it will be different. It’s the opportunity to experience something you’ve never experienced, it’s a chance to learn and grow.