Don’t forget to ask

Sometimes we make plans that involve others without speaking to them first.

You get so excited and carried away that it doesn’t even occur to you to let the other person know.

Instead you just assume that of course they will share your excitement.

And it’s not that your plans are bad but when you don’t ask the other person but expect them to be involved you might end up disappointed.

Least time, most value

If you could only listen to 3 artists for the rest of your life, who would they be?

I was thinking about this recently and I found myself surprised that the artists I’d choose are the ones I listen to the least. There was once a time that I listened to them the most but these days I listen to them only every now and then.

But they hold so much value that given the choice, I’d pick them everytime.

I think this is the case for many things in life, not just music.

It’s often the things that we spend the least time on, that we care about and value the most.

The perception of right and wrong

One of the mistakes we often make is thinking that there is only one solution to every problem. And so, when the way a person chooses to solve a problem does not match up with what we believe the solution to be we can end up being critical and telling them they are wrong.

In these cases, what we are actually doing is forcing our beliefs, opinions and perceptions onto other people. The reality more often than not is that you and this person perceive things differently, it’s not that anyone is wrong or right.

I think that this is something worth remembering. A lot of people find it so easy to be critical of others and tell them what they should or shouldn’t have done.

But the truth is, it’s simply a matter of perception.

You have to be willing to change your mind

It’s more important than you might have considered.

When it comes to your opinions, beliefs and life plans, you have to be willing to change your mind.

You never want to be so set in your ways that you close yourself off to other options.

Sometimes when you’re so committed to what you know, it feels too difficult (or requires more effort than you’re willing to give) to change your mind. And so you hide away from information that could change your perception.

Or maybe you hide away from learning about what you could do to change your life path. You do this because once you know it’s possible for things to be better you’ll end up miserable if you never do anything about it. Yet you end up staying stagnant because you’re not willing to change your mind about the path you want to be on.

Change comes with risk and sometimes we choose security or familiarity over happiness.

Back to the old

At the beginning of this year I made some changes to this site.

I wanted to make it more visually appealing, I wanted to make it better.

And so I looked for inspiration, jotted down some ideas then got to work.

The end result was something very far from what I’d stuck with for the past 2 years. However, it was much closer to the look of a site I read fairly often.

I’d invested time into creating a header, logo and trawling through themes and customisation options so I stuck with it. I didn’t love the look of the site but I felt as though I’d spent too much time to go back to the old look.

After a while I grew to dislike the look of my site, I just couldn’t get used to it. Perhaps because the look I had chosen wasn’t really my idea.

And so I went back to the old look.

Sometimes going back to the way things were is exactly what you need.

Expecting the worst

Sometimes you might find yourself expecting the worst.

You have this whole worst case scenario prepared in your mind that you don’t even hold space for something good to happen.

And so you then avoid the thing that you think will turn out badly until you can avoid it no more.

But more often than not, things turn out better than you think.

The most likely scenario

When it comes to getting swept up in the future it’s easy to get caught up in the worst case scenario. But it’s also easy to get caught up in the ideal scenario.

However, more often than not neither of them come true.

The outcome ends up being what I’d call the most likely scenario, something fairly ordinary. It could be good but not great or alright instead of terrible.

But there’s nothing wrong with that sort of outcome, infact most choices or actions that make up our days have those kinds of ‘normal’ outcomes.

And so I think the reason that we’re so drawn to getting swept up in the extremes of the worst case and the ideal is because we unknowingly enjoy it.

How creatives find their flow

It’s much easier than you might think.

The creative flow or state of being inspired is often held in high regard. It’s put on a pedestal as this magical thing.

People often like to ask creatives about their process in order to understand how they are able to do what they do.

But the thing is, finding your creative flow is just like finding anything else, you have to look for it. It might not be right in front of you and you might encounter a few flows that just aren’t quite right but that shouldn’t stop you from looking.

All of a sudden you’ll find it and your work will change. The good bits will get even better and you’ll have more of those moments where it comes to you with such ease that you’ll look back and wonder if you were in a trance.

And that is all there is to it. You can’t figure out what works without encountering the stuff that doesn’t work.

Putting it out there

Your job is to create and then put it out there.

It might not get the amount of views you want or it could be loved by millions, that is not something you have any control over.

It’s not your job to try and convince people that your work is good. In fact, you need to learn to be okay with the fact that some people won’t like it.

Focus on creating your work for the people that want it. That might only be a few to begin with but those people are important.

Pastry and persistence

So, today I tried something new in the kitchen that involved shortcrust pastry.

My hopes were high but unfortunately the end result was pretty terrible.

I tried to rectify it but to no avail.

I found myself feeling a little frustrated because it wasn’t a complicated dish and I thought it was going well, until it wasn’t.

But once I got thinking I realised that it wasn’t so bad. I was lucky enough that there was plenty of other food in my house so I didn’t have to go hungry.

And then I moved on to thinking about what went wrong and what I could do differently next time in order to improve the outcome. I could roll the pastry thinner, I could cook the pastry for longer, I could use less egg for the filling or I could follow a recipe properly rather than just for the amount of butter and flour for the pastry.

The bottom line is that I tried something new and it didn’t work out how I had hoped. That’s something that happens a lot in life and I think the issue is that we consider it to be a bad thing when in fact it’s a normal thing.

It’s normal for things to not work out sometimes especially when it’s something you’re doing for the first time. It’s all just part of the learning process. And if you’re willing to try again, then there’s a possibility that things can get better.