Can you remember where you were at in life 3 years ago?
Did you have a job?
Where did you work?
Were you happy?
How were you spending your free time?
Where did you live?
What were you reading?
What were your life goals?
Who were your friends?
Who were you dating?
A lot can change in 1000 and something days and in a ‘go, go, go!’ society it can be easy to overlook just how far you’ve come.
Maybe you went from working part-time in a cafe, pretty happy with life, reading sci-fi and dating a dreamy guy who took you on picnics and twirled you to beautiful music.
But now you work full-time in HR, you’re not particularly happy, you have live in an expensive apartment in the city and don’t make time to read anymore.
And 3 years from now, things could be better, worse or maybe just different
Sometimes we get the courage to do things that we’re afraid to do.
But when they don’t turn out as planned we often come down hard on ourselves forgetting the courage that it took to try.
And then we feel as though we shouldn’t have bothered.
But what we have to remember is that we have no control over how a situation will turn out. We just have to have the courage to give it a go because as cheesy as it sounds you never know unless you actually try.
If things go as planned great but if they don’t it’s not a total loss. Ask yourself ‘What did this outcome teach me, what have I learned?’
When you’re a kid you think that 21 is grown up. You think that by that age you’ll have everything figured out, that you’ll have met your life partner and that you’ll suddenly be this proper adult with a career…
But then you get to that age and you don’t quite feel how you thought you would.
Is this what its like to be an adult?
That’s the kind of question you ponder regularly. You might even have a professional job in a fancy office but you still feel like a kid in a classroom. But you have colleagues, deadlines, meetings, projects, clients and a work phone with a company branded case. You have all that yet you still feel like you’re playing dress-up and pretending to be professional.
Perhaps some would refer to this as imposter syndrome but you can call it whatever you want really. Often the only way to cure this feeling/mindset is to tell yourself that it will go once you achieve a particular goal. Once you gain accreditation in your field or lead a project.
But moving the benchmark probably won’t work because it’s a mind thing not a physical thing. It’s about how you feel about yourself and your ability.
My advice would be (to quote Sinek) start with why. Why do you feel that way about yourself? Once you understand that, it’s just a case of implementing a new mindset.
I hold the belief that even if it all falls apart, everything will always be okay.
Which means that I often don’t give things as much effort as I could or should because I’m aware that everything will be okay, no matter the outcome.
When we take advantage of our circumstances life has this way of reminding us that we should make time for gratitude.
It might come in the form of something ‘going wrong’ or having to deal with an un-ideal circumstance. It’s in those moments that we can end up getting frustrated at life for dealing us such a poor hand or we can use it as a growth point.
I’m currently experiencing…
It’s difficult because…
It is teaching me…
Moving forward I will…
Sunday morning is the perfect time to make plans and daydream.
Take some time and think about an idea or a project that you’ve been working on and write down a grand plan for it. Make it meaningful, more than just I want to make lots of money.
Get right down to the core of your thing.
Why do I want to do this?
What am doing to work towards my grand plan?
What am I doing that is not helping me work towards my grand plan?
What can I remove from my life to give me more time and mental space to work towards my grand plan?
Do I believe my grand plan is possible and why or why not?
So now that you’ve given it some thought commit yourself to dedicating time every week to working towards your plans. It can be 20 minutes a day or maybe a couple of hours a few times a week. The point is to take action, start now.
For almost a week now, I’ve been going back and forth on something I need to say.
Should I do it over text or face to face?
Should I just say nothing?
Should I be honest or do I need to be brutally honest so they don’t misinterpret what I say?
Should I use NLP to help me come up with how to word things?
Do I need to explain in detail or just say the overall gist of what I’m thinking?
Am I being judgmental?
How is this person going to react?
Do they even care?
As I’m sure you can imagine I’ve had a lot on my mind and am still unsure of how to go about things. It has reminded me that I spend too much time ruminating and not enough time doing because I could have gotten this all over with a few days ago.
But at least I’ve learnt my lesson for next time (hopefully).