Embracing temporary things

Wake up, wake up! The world is changing.

Over the past 10 years or so I’ve noticed a big change in the way that people work. Self-employment is on the rise along with jobs in the gig economy.

Perhaps as a society we believe in ourselves more or we’ve opened up to the idea that we don’t have to commit to a single career.

Maybe work can just be something you do to fund the life you want rather than being where you gain your sense of self and something you want to grow and develop in.

You might have a career or means of income in mind that you have yet to actualise, so on your journey to bringing that to life you do temporary, flexible or short-term jobs like hospitality and Uber driving.

You could be that person in your late 20s or early 30s and to some what you’re doing may seem risky or not the sensible choice. But it’s actually pretty amazing to be able to trust your vision of what you want in life enough that you’re not willing to settle because so many of us settle.

The world is changing and you have to find a way to evolve and adapt.

…endless forms most beautiful and wonderful have been, and are being, evolved.

The Origin of Species

Charles Darwin

Don’t look back

…in anger (this has nothing to do with Oasis but I do love that song!).

You can spend your whole life working on improving aspects of your life. Imagine you’ve always struggled with your career and finding something that you like that pays enough that you can live a life you’re happy with you.

Imagine you’ve spent years feeling unsatisfied moving from job to job.

Then all of sudden you find something that is everything you’ve always wanted and you’re finally happy doing what you do to earn a living.

But you’re also left with somewhat of a gaping hole in your heart where that struggle used to be.

Even though things have changed for the better, it feels as though something is missing because you’re lighter now.

What’s missing is the stress, anxiety, sleepless nights, worry and the struggle. Yet somehow you might find yourself longing for what once was.

Overcoming is a pretty big deal, acknowledge what you’ve accomplished and don’t look back on what once was.

Comfortable or helpful

You can’t always have both.

So it turns out that the thing that brings you the most comfort might also be incredibly unhelpful to your personal development. It could even be the main thing holding you back from living your dream life, a life of bliss.

But you get so caught up in the comfort of this habit that has grown on you and with you that you can’t even see how it is hindering your progress.

On the flip-side of this is helpful habits and actions. If you’ve never done them before they probably feel a little uncomfortable but that is to be expected. Despite, how these things may feel they’re actually good for you and following though with them will lead you to your dream life, a life of bliss.

And so it’s a choice between short term discomfort for long-term joy or long-term comfort for long-term dissatisfaction.

The choice is yours.

Here’s why I stopped writing monthly todo lists

They didn’t work for me.

At the start of every month I used to write a bunch of goals (well more like to-dos), maybe around 25. At the end of every month I never failed to have at least a few things left.

28-31 days is a long time to plan for and I found myself just sort of creating a random todo list of stuff for the month that I just never stuck to.

I’d write them with good intentions but my actions for the weeks that followed were somewhat half-hearted.

Now granted the solution may have been to just get more committed but I actually just switched to weekly todo lists instead.

I’ve found that making plans for myself every seven days gives me a chance to be a lot more focused.

And as a result I’m slowly but surely getting better at getting things done.

Who you are and who you want to be

Through discovering the kind of person that I want to become I’ve learnt a lot about who I am.

It’s interesting to observe yourself and how you interact with others. Are you kind to yourself, what are your relationships like, how do you show up in different situations.

When you uncover the things you need to work on it can be hard to accept them in a loving way and not get frustrated at how much work you have to do.

But that awareness is important. Being able to see yourself as you are is important and even though you might feel like the work is too much or overwhelming you don’t have to do it all right now.

You just have to start.

Then work your way through it bit by bit, until eventually you’ll be transformed.

Taking the right approach

You’re either A, B or somewhere in-between.

Person A takes the do it now approach and gets things done as they arise or sets time aside to do it in the future.

Person B takes the do nothing approach, also known as the do it later approach, think of a procrastinator. Person B does nothing when things arise even if they know that they could do it now.

They put things off until they’re short of time and then wonder why their heart is palpitating (I’ve been Person B many times).

But there comes a time when you have to do some self-reflection to understand what is and isn’t working. Ask yourself ‘What can I do to make things in my life run smoother?’

I think reevaluating the approach you take in life is the equivalent of a keystone habit (one habit that has a domino effect where you end up changing a bunch of habits as a result of changing one).

A person that takes the do nothing approach is more likely to be overwhelmed, unorganised, tense, stressed, less productive and be achieving much less than they’re capable of.

If you’re able to identify with Person B, you might feel like it’s too hard to change your ways. But there’s a beautiful thing called neuroplasticity that allows your brain to change.

Once you make a commitment to to your own development, it just takes practice.

Habits of your childhood self

For some people there are aspects of themselves that were developed in childhood as coping mechanisms in order to feel comfortable or safe.

And sometimes those habits or behaviour that were developed during childhood become so familiar and comfortable to us that we carry them through into adulthood.

But the thing is how you coped at 6 might not be so useful to you 2 decades later, in fact you might find that it’s more of a hindrance.

This is why it’s important to get to know yourself and have a level of self-awareness where you can know the why behind the things that you do.

If you can identify something that is no longer working for you then you can also change it to something that does.

Thank Goodness!