If you feel discouraged with where you’re at you have two options.
The first is to quit and the second is to stick at it.
Whichever option you choose commit to it wholeheartedly.
If you think about it, there really isn’t much point going after your dreams (or the thing that you’re telling everyone is your dream) if you can’t even be bothered to give it your all.
People don’t often talk about quitting or deciding that they don’t want to proceed with the thing they have been working on.
I used to think that quitting was a bad thing, that it meant you were giving up, that you didn’t try hard enough and so on.
But with age and I suppose also experience I’ve come to realise that there are times when quitting is necessary.
Not everything that you try is going to work out, not everything you do will be a success.
And so you have to know when to quit because sometimes in quitting and closing the door to one thing you allow yourself to open up to something else.
It’s hard to balance tense and triggered aspects of self with the softer more malleable bits.
My anxiety makes me tense and rigid but it also deeply influences the way I write. But my softer more malleable side deeply influences my writing too.
It is often through writing that my anxieties subside and I am able to go with the flow, follow the words and not worry about the order or things making perfect sense but to instead stay inflow allowing the words to pour.
To be able to follow the flow no matter how brief or specific is something worth cherishing. When you’re tense and rigid or feeling overwhelmed by life it seems impossible that there’s any other way, but there is.
The flow is always there whether you choose that path or not. You can go back to it at any point because the moment you realise that what you’re doing isn’t working or should be different is the moment the solution becomes available.
We’re constantly making decisions each day. Some are small scale like toast or cereal for breakfast, whilst others can have more of an impact.
It’s easy to go back and forth when you have multiple options and are intent on picking the ‘right one’.
But it’s often the act of picking that’s more important than what you actually pick.
If you struggle to make decisions, you don’t need to get better at being right, you need to work on being more decisive.
*crowd remains silent*
What if you were the first to raise your hand instead of waiting for someone else to go first?
Better yet what if you offered to help before anyone even asked?
It’s easy to follow the crowd and do just enough to be average.
But what if you decided to offer a little bit more?
It’s a very different experience when you decide to show up and care instead of just doing what’s required.
Just because someone is older than you doesn’t mean they’re the best person to seek advice from.
I think there’s a level of vulnerability that comes with asking for advice, to be open and honest enough to say ‘Hey, so I’m going through xyz and I just wanted to get some advice from you as I’m not really sure how to move forward.’
Something I’ve learnt is that when I have a difficult decision to make it helps to view the situation from a different perspective and sometimes that happens quickest when you talk to someone.
However, it’s important to make sure that you’re talking to the right person.
For me that would be:
Someone I trust.
Someone I look up to.
Someone I admire.
Someone who has my best interests at heart.
Someone who will give impartial advice.
Someone with experience.
When you feel stuck and want some advice you probably want it from someone who can help steer you in the right direction rather than someone who leaves you feeling stressed or further fuels your indecision.
Whilst recently asking for advice I realised that often the main thing I want is someone who can shift my perspective.
Perhaps to not even advise on my specific situation but to remind me that I’m capable of making the ‘right’ decision.