One small thing could change it all

It’s like a keystone habit but for moments.

A keystone habit is a term created by Charles Duhigg that was featured in his book The Power of Habit, in Duhiggs words it is ‘small changes or habits that people introduce into their routines that unintentionally carry over into other aspects of their lives’.

But what if that could be applied to moments that we experience.

Sometimes all it takes is a conversation to create a shift in perspective and if you follow that feeling it could end up changing your life for the better.

Imagine you’re pretty frustrated and uninspired by life then one day you meet someone and have a conversation about aspirations that moves you. So much so that you’re driven to make changes like start a project, spend more time with friends, make time for the people you live, go for that promotion at work, volunteer or pick up a hobby you’ve been meaning to try.

Chances are you have at least one conversation everyday so that perspective shifting moment could come at any time. However, it’s also important to not be too reliant on external factors in order to drive change in your life.

If you’re not happy with where you’re at you probably have some idea (no matter how vague) of the way you’d actually things to be.

You don’t need a stranger to prompt change in your life.

On being content with not becoming a writer

Or at least trying to be.

I remember being around 16 or 17 telling a classmate about my writing hobby and that I had thought of doing it as a career. At the time I was pretty lost with regard to career plans and my civil engineering dream was becoming less and less likely.

My classmate on the other hand was an excellent academic – who went on to study medicine.

He told me (in a roundabout way) that sometimes when you try to turn your hobby into your career it ruins it.

At the time I think I said something like yeah you’re right. But in my head I thought but I wanna be a writer and over half a decade later I still think that.

However, despite wanting to be a writer, I’m now 2 years into a career in transport. For the most part, I’m pretty happy with where I’m at and that has made me realise that more than wanting to be a writer what I really want is to write.

And I do write.

Every.

Single.

Day.

Why it’s so hard to be yourself

It’s easier said than done.

We grow up having people tell us to be more or less of ourselves.

And for many at a young age you follow the words of those older than you. That’s fine when it comes to things like eating a balanced diet, doing your homework and being kind to people.

But on the flip-side when you’re being told to what career path to pursue or who you should be, I think that’s a problem.

How are you ever going to figure out who you are and be yourself if you’re always listening to other people? Sure this person might mean well and think they’re being helpful but they could also be projecting.

You’ll get told not to pursue something creative because it’s risky, to get a job in a particular sector because it’s more stable, to dress in differently… the list goes on. But often this advice has nothing to do with your happiness or life goals, it’s about conformity, a lack of belief, other peoples discomfort or even control.

And if you listen to all these voices and follow along with what you’re told you slowly start being less and less yourself and therefore less happy.

It’s not much fun living your life as an actor and allowing everyone else to direct.

And so in order to ‘simply’ be yourself you have to let go of all that stuff and be okay with other people being frustrated that you won’t do what they say.

In exchange for that, you get to be you.

When life comes together

How does it feel when you realise you’re living your dreams.

I’d consider myself to be a bit of a dreamer. I daydream, I can be idealistic and I love stories.

I daydream/visualise about my future on a regular basis sometimes intentionally and sometimes on accident.

I often find that months or years later that thing I was daydreaming about is part of my reality.

And it can something like the kind of person I want to meet or an aspect of my lifestyle.

It fascinates me that you can have days where you’re happily going through life and then you suddenly realise that last year you’d been dreaming about being where you are right now.

When life comes together

How does it feel when you realise you’re living your dreams.

I’d consider myself to be a bit of a dreamer.

I daydream/visualise about my future on a regular basis sometimes intentionally and sometimes on accident.

I often find that months or years later that thing I was daydreaming about is part of my reality.

And it can be something like the kind of person I want to meet or an aspect of my lifestyle.

It fascinates me that you can have days where you’re happily going through life and then you suddenly realise that last year you’d been dreaming about being where you are right now.

 

It’s more than what it is

This blog is more than just a blog.

It’s a daily blog.

It’s a writing practice.

It’s a come as you are space where I feel free to write as I please.

It’s a habit.

It’s a commitment.

It’s a hobby.

I’ve been blogging for years and but I never considered how I would feel about having a daily blog where the sole focus was on words. Turns out I love it, I could happily stop writing my lifestyle blog that’s how much I enjoy this blog.

It’s so much more than what it is. After over 7 years of writing online I’ve finally given myself permission to share my words in my own way.

I like a mixture of serious and silly. I can write about feeling afraid, the inner monologue and the importance of exploring yourself. But I can also write about creating a dream life and make up analogies based on cars. 

And then there’s references to Seth Godin, someone who has had a major influence on me alongside pieces that are about moments I’ve experienced.

It’s hard to summarise what this is but it’s definitely more than just a blog.

 

Happy then and happy now

There is a belief that the things that brought us joy as kids will be the things that bring us joy as adults, especially after we’ve gone through low periods.

Feeding the birds at the park, reading fiction books, drawing and making daisy chains are some examples of childhood joys.

It’s interesting that as children we find joy in the simplest of things yet as adults we end up believing that happiness is hard to come by.

But what could be compared to the feeling of sitting on a swing in a park on a summer afternoon, swinging back and forth whilst watching the world go by.

Unless of course, you’re not a fan of swings.