Why it’s so hard to be yourself

It’s easier said than done.

We grow up having people tell us to be more or less of ourselves.

And for many at a young age you follow the words of those older than you. That’s fine when it comes to things like eating a balanced diet, doing your homework and being kind to people.

But on the flip-side when you’re being told to what career path to pursue or who you should be, I think that’s a problem.

How are you ever going to figure out who you are and be yourself if you’re always listening to other people? Sure this person might mean well and think they’re being helpful but they could also be projecting.

You’ll get told not to pursue something creative because it’s risky, to get a job in a particular sector because it’s more stable, to dress in differently… the list goes on. But often this advice has nothing to do with your happiness or life goals, it’s about conformity, a lack of belief, other peoples discomfort or even control.

And if you listen to all these voices and follow along with what you’re told you slowly start being less and less yourself and therefore less happy.

It’s not much fun living your life as an actor and allowing everyone else to direct.

And so in order to ‘simply’ be yourself you have to let go of all that stuff and be okay with other people being frustrated that you won’t do what they say.

In exchange for that, you get to be you.

When life comes together

How does it feel when you realise you’re living your dreams.

I’d consider myself to be a bit of a dreamer. I daydream, I can be idealistic and I love stories.

I daydream/visualise about my future on a regular basis sometimes intentionally and sometimes on accident.

I often find that months or years later that thing I was daydreaming about is part of my reality.

And it can something like the kind of person I want to meet or an aspect of my lifestyle.

It fascinates me that you can have days where you’re happily going through life and then you suddenly realise that last year you’d been dreaming about being where you are right now.

When life comes together

How does it feel when you realise you’re living your dreams.

I’d consider myself to be a bit of a dreamer.

I daydream/visualise about my future on a regular basis sometimes intentionally and sometimes on accident.

I often find that months or years later that thing I was daydreaming about is part of my reality.

And it can be something like the kind of person I want to meet or an aspect of my lifestyle.

It fascinates me that you can have days where you’re happily going through life and then you suddenly realise that last year you’d been dreaming about being where you are right now.

 

It’s more than what it is

This blog is more than just a blog.

It’s a daily blog.

It’s a writing practice.

It’s a come as you are space where I feel free to write as I please.

It’s a habit.

It’s a commitment.

It’s a hobby.

I’ve been blogging for years and but I never considered how I would feel about having a daily blog where the sole focus was on words. Turns out I love it, I could happily stop writing my lifestyle blog that’s how much I enjoy this blog.

It’s so much more than what it is. After over 7 years of writing online I’ve finally given myself permission to share my words in my own way.

I like a mixture of serious and silly. I can write about feeling afraid, the inner monologue and the importance of exploring yourself. But I can also write about creating a dream life and make up analogies based on cars. 

And then there’s references to Seth Godin, someone who has had a major influence on me alongside pieces that are about moments I’ve experienced.

It’s hard to summarise what this is but it’s definitely more than just a blog.

 

Happy then and happy now

There is a belief that the things that brought us joy as kids will be the things that bring us joy as adults, especially after we’ve gone through low periods.

Feeding the birds at the park, reading fiction books, drawing and making daisy chains are some examples of childhood joys.

It’s interesting that as children we find joy in the simplest of things yet as adults we end up believing that happiness is hard to come by.

But what could be compared to the feeling of sitting on a swing in a park on a summer afternoon, swinging back and forth whilst watching the world go by.

Unless of course, you’re not a fan of swings.

 

If you want something different

We so often go through life wishing and hoping for things but not taking any action.

It could be wanting a new job because you aren’t happy in your current job but all you do is complain about it.

Wanting to meet new people but never going anywhere new.

Wanting to get fit but coming home after work and sitting in bed watching episodes of a show on Netflix back to back.

Wanting to eat better but only buying frozen food and microwave meals.

We have much more control over our lives than our minds will sometimes have us believe.

If you want something different, try something new.

An accidental call for change

Sometimes we forget that a call to change may come as an accident, it’ll come to you when you least expect it.

Perhaps you forget to do something you normally do, or you suddenly you find yourself in a situation that you could have avoided if only you [INSERT THING HERE].

Sometimes we need a little reminder that we don’t have to stay where we are. Maybe the reason you for got to do X is because you should actually stop doing X and maybe find a new habit or hobby instead.

That was the lesson that I learnt today and I’m looking forward to exploring something new.