A major contributing factor to moving forward in life is being able to let things go.
It could be physical possessions, people or memories and experiences.
An easy example is if you tried something and it didn’t work out. If you can’t let go of the thing that didn’t work you may find that it underlies future situations when you try something new.
Suddenly you’ve become someone that believes that nothing will work out for you, you become closed off to new things and remain stagnant.
That may seem extreme but that’s the reality of life. You won’t realise how much that one situation affected you until you’re randomly pondering life one Sunday afternoon.
I don’t think there’s one specific way to let go, what works for one may not work for another so it’s important to figure it out for yourself.
There must be some explanation for why we do it.
When you don’t want to do something or you know it won’t be easy, putting it off feels good. There’s pleasure in indulging in the freedom of future deadlines, future work or future responsibilities.
But that doesn’t mean that you can avoid them forever. That pleasurable feeling of freedom and not doing what you “posed to do” can’t last. You see the thing is whether you do it now or later you still have to get it done.
Instead of indulging in procrastination pleasure followed by an intense stressful period, choose to indulge in productivity pleasure and give yourself as much time as you can in order to do things well.
Sure pressure creates diamonds but constantly putting yourself through stress when you don’t need to could result in insomnia, chest pain and diarrhoea.
You might be used to doing things one way but that’s no reason not to try something new.
I’d love to know what you like and would want more of in the future from The Daily Gemm.
It could be more about my career journey as I work on developing myself, stuff on overcoming anxiety, habits and practices, my writing process, becoming more confident or just more about Debbies brother.
I have a good idea of what I’ll be sharing next year but if there’s anything in particular that you’ve enjoyed from me this year then I’m happy to do more of that.
It’s also Christmas Eve today so think of your feedback as part of a gift exchange, one that will be returned in the new year.
What do you do when you think you’ve made a mistake?
In times of great uncertainty it’s not surprising that people look to something safe to cling and commit to.
And so we end up playing it safe. Getting a good job and settling down because it’s easier to follow the rules than it is to actually figure out what you truly want.
But weeks, months or even years down the line you’ll get this feeling of longing and wanting.
This comfortable and stable life that you’ve carved out for yourself is great in some ways but it also leaves you unfulfilled.
You wake up, go to work, spend 8 hours doing stuff that you don’t really care about, come home, eat, talk about your day, watch a tv show and then go to bed. And tomorrow it’s exactly the same.
In a bid to have a safe and stable life you’ve gotten rid of the good stuff. The stuff that gives you the opportunity to learn and grow, to push yourself and see what you’re capable of, to experiment, try new things and to explore yourself.
In a bid to have a safe and stable life you said no to pursuing your dream life.
But why not pursue to the dream life instead and go at it with full gusto. Why not commit to living a life of joy, teach yourself to take chances and be okay with uncertainty. Why not find a job you enjoy, explore new things and visit new places.
Life is very different when you open yourself up to possibility and believe that you can do more than just get by.
People often complain about their life circumstances and how if only they weren’t working class, their parents were born in the western world, they grew up in a better area etc.
In some ways they envy the opportunities that more ‘privileged’ people have had in life. They may think it’s not fair that others have had the upper hand from the moment they were born where as they’ve had to ‘try and try , try and try’ (from the song You can get it if you really want by Jimmy Cliff).
But the thing is as much as they may think and feel this way, it’s also what they aspire to. To raise families more well off than they were. To have the money to live somewhere bigger and safer. To be a able to give the people around them opportunities because they’re well connected.
Essentially they aspire to become the people that are ahead of the majority, more privileged and people with the upper hand.
It’s hard to make comparisons about who has it harder but that’s not something worth competing over. I think we can all agree we’d like to have things better than they were or currently are.
And who knows down the line your family could be the privileged ones with countless opportunities compared to others.
But from someone else’s perspective, you might be considered pretty privileged right now.
In the process of making a difficult decision I turned to the words of Seth Godin for guidance. I found a few useful posts on sunk costs and it made me realise one of the things I needed to stop considering.
When making plans for the future if you do it based on past experiences that didn’t go to plan it taints your mind.
Decisions based on the past are too often made from a place of fear or include factors that have no bearing on the future unless you let them.
I think it’s useful to start by wiping your slate clean. Start with where you’re at right now and weigh up the pros and cons of both choices. And consider what you want and what your personal plans are not just what looks good on the outside.
It’ll almost always be easier.
Yet we often end up worrying about how wrong things went the first time and then history just ends up repeating itself.
And then we start to lose faith in our ability, thinking that things are impossible, that we are incapable.
The inner monologue gets carried away and you know exactly what that sounds like.
But what if the second time around we begin with a short reflection on the pros and cons of our previous approach and then create an outcome based action plan.
Taking a optimistic future oriented approach might just be more beneficial.