For many people if they give it some thought they’ll find that a large proportion of their character is based on who they think they are.
Often those opinions are made at a young age without any real judgement. Yet you carry them with you into adulthood without even checking to see if your mind has changed.
It could be something as simple as a food that you don’t eat. Perhaps as a child you weren’t willing to explore with what you ate so you told yourself ‘I’m not the kind of person that eats that kind of food’ or ‘I don’t like to experiment with what I eat, I just like simple food’. Twenty years later you’re still saying the same thing and maybe that’s true but maybe you haven’t changed.
We get so attached to the idea we create of who we think we are that we close ourselves off to anything that challenges that.
I’ve been writing a little different lately and trying to figure out the best kind of things to share during this time.
My aim is to be relevant but whilst still maintaining my usual style and core themes.
I’ve been thinking a lot about science, history, people and fear. From that I’ve had so many ideas for things to write about and once piece in particular (that is currently just a few words and phrases) has brought me joy.
There’s a thing I do when I write where I put little thoughts and ideas together then try and make some sense out of them. It’s so fun, it’s almost like a game, trying to see how I can fit things together.
Right now I’m having a lot of new thoughts and thinking about things in ways I never have before.
And so even though things are very unexpected and a little challenging, I guess right now I’m just enjoying my writing process.
Now, is the perfect time to find joy in doing the things you love.
Right now things might feel strange, they certainly don’t feel normal.
When we experience difficult or challenging situations so often we end up craving the way things were.
You might find yourself longing for the simple everyday things you used to do like working in an office building, travelling by train and seeing full shelves in the supermarket.
Once the situation passes you have to establish a new normal because challenges change you. It will be almost impossible to go back to the way things were because what you’re experiencing right now is significant.
We all have the opportunity to let this situation change us for the better. To become more resilient, self-aware and perhaps a little kinder or more thoughtful.
Sometimes you might find yourself saying yes to much more than you can handle. It’s often for one of 2 reasons.
The first reason is because you want to push yourself, test your limits and see what you’re capable of.
The other reason is for other people, you want to help and be seen as valuable or hardworking.
It’s all good and well saying yes in the moment. However before you make a decision, ask yourself if you have the capacity to do it well.
You’ll be much better off saying no than saying yes and producing poor results.
After doing anything that took courage or experiencing something that caused some discomfort, you’re likely to have to deal with the aftermath.
It could be how you feel about yourself or how you feel about others.
Maybe you decided to break the ice and have a conversation you’ve been putting off for months. If that’s what you decide, once the talk is over a weight will be lifted.
There are endless possibilities of what the aftermath might be. For the example mentioned above it could be confidence, patience, understanding or just frustration.
The aftermath is unavoidable and sometimes it’s so small that you aren’t even aware of it.
But it’s important to remember Newtons third law of motion ‘For every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction.’
Sometimes it might seem like you’re missing out. But the power of hindsight is that when you push too hard for a particular outcome you’ll find that you’ll be glad you missed out.
Turns out some things aren’t meant to be even if you don’t realise in the moment.
We often get caught up in ‘fomo’ feeling like we have to join in with everything.
But sometimes a useful thing to do is force yourself to miss out as a reminder that it’s not as big of deal as you think.
And if you did miss something, well there’s always next time.
One of things that makes a challenging experience more challenging is feeling alone.
One of the biggest misconceptions is that you are alone in your difficulties because you’re not.
With a planet of over 7 billion people I’d like to think that pretty much all my challenges are shared by at least one other person on this earth.
But it isn’t a misery loves company thing or a let us rejoice in the fact that your life is just as challenging as mine.
It’s more about the fact that if 264276 other people have experienced the same challenges as me (failure for example), then maybe it’s not as big of a deal as I thought.