The concepts I promote

Go, go, go until you can go no more.

I reject the concept of working yourself to the bone as it’s hard to reap the rewards when you’re ill with fatigue and exhaustion.

But the concept of working hard to reach your goals and the concept of being committed are 2 things I’m happy to promote as they allow you to get the best out of life, in my opinion anyway.

And alongside those 2 things I promote fun and I truly believe that laughter and joy are almost all we really need to live a good life.

 

The importance of exploring

Who are you when you visit new places alone?

Who are you when you deliver a presentation?

Who are you when you’re under pressure with a deadline looming?

I think it’s important to go out and explore these things as a way to explore yourself. Sometimes mediation helps, looking inwards is great but don’t get so caught in those internal things that you don’t actually take action.

You don’t want to spend your life wondering about certain aspects of yourself that you never allowed yourself to experience.

 

Self-discovery

Don’t spend so much time trying to figure yourself out and. Pondering and ruminating on where you fit in and the kind of person that you are.

Give yourself some credit and remember that you aren’t so simple that you fit into a neat box or that you’re easy to label.

You’re complex and ever-evolving.

There is comfort in being able to say I’m this kind of person and this is what I like . But often when we do that we don’t give ourselves room to grow. The last thing you want is is to end up boxed into limitations of your own making.

Go out and explore yourself, what does it mean to be you? It might be strange and beautiful but that’s okay.

You might find that you’re a juxtaposition of messy and particular, simple and complex, a painter and a scientist, there’s endless possibilities and it would be a shame to never find out.

According to the dictionary app on my phone self-discovery is ‘The learning of what kind of person one really is, or what one really wants to do with ones life’.

I think that is something worth pursuing.

 

 

When you don’t get what you thought you wanted

My childhood perception of my twenties was that I’d be married or at least engaged, living in my own home and possibly have a kid on the way. But once I got to my twenties I realised that I used those things to escape from actually thinking about what I wanted to do with my life.

I don’t feel like an actual proper adult and I’m not sure I ever will but I also have no idea what that’s meant to feel like. However, I have had lots of experiences that have taught me useful things and allowed me to develop and grow.

Even though those things were challenging, they’re a big reason of why I can so confidently show up here on this site and write about overcoming things, offering tips or advice and writing about the dream-life.

My life isn’t what kid me thought it would be but I can count on 2 hands some of the things I’m grateful for. In not having the life I thought I would in my early twenties it’s forced me to confront the very things I was running from.

And because of that my life is much more interesting (or at least that’s the story I tell myself).

 

Tortured writers and the appeal of tragedy

And sometimes we write simply out of necessity.

It’s not that we have groundbreaking points to make or ideas to share but instead that we feel drawn to putting pen to paper or tapping away at keys.

It’s something we do for ourselves, everyone else is secondary because no matter how many people read, comment or enjoy these words they don’t really know what it took to pour them out.

I think that in a lot of ways that’s exactly how it should be.

We all go through things in life but some of us just choose to express it through the medium of words or maybe the words chose us.

But we don’t have to be these tortured writers who know nothing more than the tragedies of life. When we focus too much on being that way we fall into thinking that we need those things in order to write.

We think that no good words can come from days of sunshine and laughter which causes us to constantly seek out experiences that evoke feelings that get us to that mental place of tortured-ness.

On the other hand maybe we’re already in that place and writing is the only thing that helps.

Wellness cynics and setting intentions

There’s something about the word ‘manifestation’ or ‘manifest’ that has me furrowing my brows and more than willing to roll my eyeballs the whole 360. I began to notice the word around the time when everyone got into that book ‘The Secret’ and the law of attraction.

Suddenly people were declaring that you can attract whatever you want or desire by just thinking about it. According to them it was easy, as easy as cherry pie.

Maybe my reluctance to ‘get on board’ had something to do with my personal circumstances at the time, the fact that I can be a little cynical or maybe I just felt like there had to be more to it.

But then years later I started to notice a common thread in the events occurring in my life. Things I had once written down, daydreamed about or visualised started to happen in real life with total ease and no physical effort on my part.

Yet in parallel there were also things happening in my life that were sort of like misinterpretations of what I wanted.

As someone who likes to find a way of understanding things even if there is no scientific evidence to support my idea, I managed to figure out the cause of these ‘misinterpretations’.

These misinterpretations were simply an error in the programming where the output didn’t match the input, except for it did. These misinterpretations were happening in the areas of my life where I was most uncertain or conflicted about what I truly wanted.

At the time I was reading a book and it contained a whole section on setting intentions. It mentioned being clear, describing things though the 5 senses and focusing on what you want instead of what you don’t want.

I suppose to summarise I can say that I believe in visualisation and writing things down. My own life is living proof that it works but if you aren’t clear about what you want you might end up something you’re not quite satisfied with.

From the outside

Appearances are everything or at least that’s how it often appears.

The woman with a good education, working a great job at a high profile company.

The guy that everyone goes to for advice because he’s warm, kind and always says what you need to hear (not just what you want to hear).

From the outside they seem to have it together. She lives a stable life and is on the road to a successful career with lots of opportunities. She’s earning enough money to buy a property and take regular holidays. She works hard in a field that is highly regarded.

He always makes time for people and he never really seems to go through anything major. He’s an important part of so many peoples. He’s loved, trustworthy and generous.

But she’s unfulfilled, her life looks great from the outside but isn’t happy with how her life has turned out.

But he’s overwhelmed being who he is to so many people and now he’s scared to make time for himself because he doesn’t want to let anyone down.

From the outside they appear to be living great lives but from the inside they both have their own struggles.

Just a reminder that looks can be deceiving and that you never really know what someone else is going through, no matter how great their life appears to be.