If you feel discouraged with where you’re at you have two options.
The first is to quit and the second is to stick at it.
Whichever option you choose commit to it wholeheartedly.
If you think about it, there really isn’t much point going after your dreams (or the thing that you’re telling everyone is your dream) if you can’t even be bothered to give it your all.
People don’t often talk about quitting or deciding that they don’t want to proceed with the thing they have been working on.
I used to think that quitting was a bad thing, that it meant you were giving up, that you didn’t try hard enough and so on.
But with age and I suppose also experience I’ve come to realise that there are times when quitting is necessary.
Not everything that you try is going to work out, not everything you do will be a success.
And so you have to know when to quit because sometimes in quitting and closing the door to one thing you allow yourself to open up to something else.
The purpose of an animals shell is to protect them from danger.
Humans don’t have physical shells but we do have actions and behaviours that we express in order to protect ourselves.
So, let us play around with the metaphor of us humans having shells.
Perhaps you’re closed off around new people to protect yourself from getting hurt. And in some situations that might save you a lot of hassle and be a useful thing to do.
But what about when it’s time to be vulnerable or what about when you don’t actually need to protect yourself as there is no danger present.
As much as it’s great to know how to protect yourself it’s important to also remember that you don’t need to do it all the time.
They’re both important.
We live in a society where it’s not uncommon to find people almost competing about who works the hardest.
Working a 9to5.
Working a 9to5 then a passion project 5to9.
Staying in the office till late.
Being self employed and working 7 days a week.
Coming into the office at the weekend.
We hear about working hard all the time but we rarely hear about play. There’s emphasis on resting from the work. But I’m a big believer in work and play.
I don’t believe in working for the weekend as though those 2 days are your reward for slaving away for the 5 days prior.
My ideas on work and play aren’t about a work life balance but more about just enjoying life as a whole.
So yes, meet your deadlines, impress the clients and do great work but also enjoy it.
Is more useful than a closed one.
A closed mind is a one track mind, a mind with tunnel vision a mind likely to miss things worth noticing.
One thing worth noticing is that not everyone sees things the way that you do and no amount of encouraging, influencing and arguing will change that.
It’s actually okay to think differently and not agree after all why should 2 people with different sets of genetics and life experiences be expected to think the same.
I think a mistake often made about being open minded is that you to agree with the other person. In reality it’s merely acknowledgment that it’s okay for people to not see things the same way that you do.
It’s not always black and white or a case of right and wrong.
*crowd remains silent*
What if you were the first to raise your hand instead of waiting for someone else to go first?
Better yet what if you offered to help before anyone even asked?
It’s easy to follow the crowd and do just enough to be average.
But what if you decided to offer a little bit more?
It’s a very different experience when you decide to show up and care instead of just doing what’s required.
Anytime you’re being yourself (within reason of course).
I recently had a situation where I considered apologising. In the end I didn’t.
Instead of saying ‘I’m sorry’, I clarified my thoughts on the situation with the other person. You see after giving it some thought I realised that an apology didn’t feel like the right thing to do.
Granted, I didn’t like how the situation turned out initially but it served as a learning curve, a growth point that I needed to experience.
In the grand scheme it was a small-scale misunderstanding, not something worth regretting.
The answer might surprise you, or not.
By ‘it’ I mean this blog, the words, my writing.
I used to think that it was for you, that I was doing this because I had some great message to share with you and that it would hopefully inspire you in some way (or something along those lines).
But then I started reflecting on what I was writing about and how I was feeling each time I let the words pour out.
That’s when I realised that it was for me. I write for myself. Sure I want you to read it and I’m happy when you do but my musings of fear, challenges and the dreamlife are things I write because of the life I have lived.
I find it helpful to write a couple hundred words on overcoming a difficult situation because it serves as a reminder that not only is it possible, but that I’ve actually done it.
And when I think about all the pieces I’ve written it’s a reminder of the journey that I’m on and all the ‘gemms’ I’ve learnt along the way.
Some days the ‘gemm’ might be something I noticed whilst I was on the train and other days it’ll be an epiphany that changes the way I live my life.
And perhaps a few years ago I wouldn’t have had the confidence to share these random short pieces but I’m glad that I decided to start doing it.