Better days

Some days will be more challenging than others.

There will be difficult days and then there will be better days.

It’s easy to forget when things are challenging and difficult that they won’t be that way forever.

It’s easy to focus on the thing that is not going to plan and you can end up doing it so much that you lose the ability to see past it.

But just because today is difficult, doesn’t mean it’ll stay that way forever. Maybe tomorrow (or the next day) will be better.

What to do when it’s not working

If what you’re doing isn’t working, try something else. It really is that simple yet we often end up making things more complicated than they need to be.

We moan and complain about the way things are and daydream about the way we wish things could be. But we forget that actually things can change and things can be different if we choose another option. In moments it might seem like you’re stuck but there are always options available to you.

Choosing a different way may require patience and it might not be easy but trying something new is much better than sticking with what’s not working.

Knowing why

When it comes to future plans we often forget the reason behind the paths we choose.

We know what we want, when we want it and what it will take but we forget the reason why we want it.

A common example is career paths. A person may want to become a nurse in the next 3 years after they complete studying which will require time, effort, patience and dedication.

The reason the person wants to pursue that particular path, may have once been clear but now is somewhat of a mystery.

It’s only until something happens that this person then remembers that it is because they want to help people. Or maybe, when they were younger a nurse took care of them and they decided that they wanted to be able to do that for other people.

If we now take it back to more general ‘future plans’, I think knowing why you want to do something is important. It could be travel plans, moving to a new country or trying a new activity. Sometimes even though we know what we want to do we get complacent and put things off . And so knowing what to do is often not enough for you to get things done.

However, knowing why you want to do something gives you a pretty good reason to do it.

There is no right answer

I think this phrase rings true for a lot of what is going on in the world right now.

It’s easy to say that if you were in the shoes of another you would make better choices. But the truth is you don’t really know because you aren’t in that position. Furthermore, often when people comment on and criticise others they themselves will not ever get close to such a position .

It’s important to acknowledge what goes into the choices a person makes and remember that people are coming from their own worldview and experiences.

Maybe they’re focusing on the environment, the economy, the wealthy, the poor, mental health or something else. When your focuses don’t align and when there is no crossover, issues arise.

At all times, there will be at least a few different perspectives that you can choose. No one is ‘more right’ than another, it simply depends on what you choose to focus on.

75% qualified

There are stats to prove that when it comes to job applications women are less likely to apply than men, if they don’t meet all the requirements.

The interesting thing about this is that if you don’t get the job you don’t really lose out because nothing changes. So if you apply yo a job where you only meet 75% of what they are asking for, there’s no real risk at all, in fact you should probably do it more often.

The things you can’t yet do or don’t have much experience of are probably things that can be learnt on the job.

Of course, if what they’re asking for is experience in a specialised software that you’ve never even heard of it’s probably not worth going for. However, if the application asks for someone who has used a particular software and you have, don’t let not being an expert stop you from applying.

When you don’t perfectly meet all the criteria for a job application perhaps you feel like you won’t be able to do a good, you’re worried about your weaknesses (the things you’re not as experienced in) being exposed or maybe you don’t think you’ll get an interview.

All that stuff is just guesswork. You can apply to a job you’re perfectly qualified for and not get it, you can apply to a job you’re 75% qualified for and get it.

The risk of applying is minimal, I think the real risk is in getting your hopes up.

But the purpose of taking a risk is knowing there’s a chance it might not work and doing it anyway.

Vulnerability and having your needs met

Do you really know what you want?

Often we go around telling people what we do want and even what we don’t want. Doing so can help you feel like you know and understand yourself because you’re able to articulate your needs.

What can end up happening is, when the needs you voiced are met, you come to find that it’s not what you really wanted at all.

Suddenly, you find yourself going back on your previous statement or displaying emotions like frustration or annoyance at the person who has done what you asked.

For example, you may say that you want to be left alone. However, when everyone leaves you end up getting upset.

The truth of that matter is that you didn’t really want to be left alone. Perhaps, it’s that you felt misunderstood, wanted someone to sit with you and listen or just wanted comfort. However, voicing these kinds of needs isn’t always easy because they show your vulnerable side.

It’s much easier to just say that you want to be alone, particularly when you’re not sure if the people around you are capable of meeting your real needs.

But, if you give the people around you some credit and allow yourself to be vulnerable for just a moment, you might find that you’re able to get exactly what you need.

Enjoy the moment

If you’re someone that writes you might find that you rarely allow yourself to just be in the moment. The most wonderful thing could be happening but your mind is already looking back on it or thinking about how best to capture it.

Instead of just being in the moment, you’re observing it so that when it comes to writing about it you have all the details.

In some ways it could be considered a good thing.

But when you’re in an experience and you have the intentions of writing about it, you might find that you change your behaviour.

You end up saying or doing things to suit the narrative of what you want to write.

In turn you don’t allow yourself to be fully immersed in the experience.

Sometimes you need to decide to put the writing aside and just enjoy the moment.

How it feels when it finally happens

When you’ve spent weeks, months or year working towards something it might feel strange when it finally happens.

The thing is often when we want something as much as we think about getting it, we don’t truly consider how it will actually feel.

Of course you’ll be happy but our thought process doesn’t always go beyond that.

I suppose it’s because there’s no real way of knowing how you’ll feel.

There will be times when you’ll work towards something but don’t feel happy, excited or even particularly pleased when you get it. Whereas other times you’re overjoyed with the things you’ve managed to achieve.

I think how you feel in the end depends on things like how long it took to a achieve, whether you still truly wanted it and how much it impacts your life.

Time to jump

It’s easy to put things off and get caught up in analysing every possible outcome.

You might find yourself visualising the path you’re considering, hoping for a sign that the time to do it is now.

Or maybe you go online and do some research hoping to find a story that resonates from someone that took a chance.

There are only ever 2 choices, do nothing or do something.

Staying still, stuck and stagnant rarely feels good. Often once the moment to choose passes and you do nothing you end up regretting it.

But when you decide to take action and do something you open yourself up to the possibilities of life.

It might scare you but sometimes it’s time to jump.

Feedback and praise

I think most people like receiving praise. Not necessarily in front of a large crowd with the spotlight shining down but to simply be told you did something well is more than enough.

Many people go around thinking they’re subpar and for them praise serves as a reminder that they’re doing okay. It can be difficult to tell yourself that you did a good job, perhaps it feels big headed or self indulgent.

Feedback on the other hand can be difficult to take from others but easy to give to yourself.

It feels good to be told that you did something well but it isn’t always easy to hear what you need to work on from other people.

Afterall, how could this person know what you’ve been through and have they considered that you’re doing your best.

This observation of how we take in praise and feedback is simply a reminder not to cling too much to opinions and perceptions, not even even your own.