Improving user experience

If want to improve improve the user experience of your site get someone to browse through your site and come up with a few points on what could be better.

Or if you’re like me, you randomly decide to browse your own site and instantly find some things worth changing.

So this is really just a heads up to say if you notice things starting to look a little different. If you have any particular feedback on the site that’d be great.

When I started this site I was so focused on creating something simple to showcase daily musings that I didn’t really give thought to the design aspects of the site. In some ways that’s a good thing as I could have gotten so caught up in that aspect of the site that it distracted me from just writing.

However after just over 8 months, I think that now is the right time to make some changes.

And if Instagram is your thing why not follow me @thedailygemm

What happens when we remove worry from the equation of self?

Just as ‘you’re not you when you’re hungry’ is the same way you’re not you when you’re worried.

A person that worries chronically may end up having sleep problems, self-harming and developing fidget habits like pulling at their hair.

Those kinds of behaviours often end up overshadowing a persons core self and then others fall into thinking that those things are who they are.

But when you remove worry from the equation you feel a sense of freedom. You have room to maneuver, you have room to be.

You’ll feel like a whole new you and begin experience life in a way that is so far from what you’re familiar with.

Life will feel easier or at least much more manageable but it’s not that you’ll never worry again. It’s that the worry will come and pass like the flow of water rather than being something that stays with you long term and ends up being debilitating and reducing your quality of life.

If you have a worry habit, the idea of being without it probably sounds like bliss (with a hint of fear because you’re so familiar with worrying it seems strange to think about being without it.

It might be hard to believe but it is possible to significantly reduce worry and not have it as such a dominant part of your identity, you just have to figure out how.

You can’t bypass the brunt

I’ve learnt a lot by simply looking at my own behaviour and assessing what does and doesn’t work.

That’s a large part of what I write and something that begins as why do I always xyz turns into me learning about a psychological theory, brain stuff and people stuff.

Recently I’ve been learning through practical experience that when you have an issue you can’t bypass the main bit of it, the brunt of it.

It’s one of those things that I know but at times still try to ignore which results in un-ideal circumstances.

Which is just a reminder that what you resists persists, you can’t bypass the brunt.

The feeling is not the problem

I think this is what they call a break through.

Perhaps we should look at situations from a neutral perspective.

The feeling you have towards any situation is not the problem and that is the mistake that is so often made.

We get so carries away by how dreadful it feels and sometimes that can spur us on but other times its just a hindrance. How are you supposed to go out into the world and thrive when you’re caught up in emotions.

Take unemployment for example. If you’re focused on how blah it feels to not have a job then every rejection email will be more likely to feel like a knock physically and mentally. Then before you know it you’ll be declaring that the job market is impossible and that you’re without a hope in the world.

The feeling is not the problem.

If you’re instead focused on the act of applying for jobs and improving your CV you’ll undoubtedly have a very different experience.

And the thing with a job is if there’s only vacancy and 50 people apply even if they’re all perfect applicants 49 people will still ‘lose’.

But that doesn’t make them losers it just means they have to keep playing that game.

Letting go of an old dream

What do you do when you wake up one morning and realise that the life you wanted is no longer something you want to pursue?

How do you let go of an old dream?

I’m still figuring out the answers to these questions so let me know if you have any insight. What I’ve discovered so far though is that it’s okay to change your mind and ten years spent on a path you no longer what to pursue isn’t wasted time. Especially if it gave you the chance to learn, develop and realise that you want something else.

Life is all about contrast and sometimes we have to experience something that we don’t want to figure out what we do want.

Too often we think that changing our minds about what we want means starting over when in reality you never go back to the start line you just continue to develop.

Perhaps, the challenge in letting go of the old is in knowing that you’ll have to re-envision your life plans and commit to something new which is both scary and exciting but more often than not worth it.

The concepts I promote

Go, go, go until you can go no more.

I reject the concept of working yourself to the bone as it’s hard to reap the rewards when you’re ill with fatigue and exhaustion.

But the concept of working hard to reach your goals and the concept of being committed are 2 things I’m happy to promote as they allow you to get the best out of life, in my opinion anyway.

And alongside those 2 things I promote fun and I truly believe that laughter and joy are almost all we really need to live a good life.

 

The importance of exploring

Who are you when you visit new places alone?

Who are you when you deliver a presentation?

Who are you when you’re under pressure with a deadline looming?

I think it’s important to go out and explore these things as a way to explore yourself. Sometimes mediation helps, looking inwards is great but don’t get so caught in those internal things that you don’t actually take action.

You don’t want to spend your life wondering about certain aspects of yourself that you never allowed yourself to experience.