When it’s no longer trendy

For some people they choose to follow trends not because it’s something they care about but because it’s what everbody else is doing.

And once the trend dies down and is no longer as popular they stop following it too. They only joined in because they wanted to be a part of something.

Then you get other people who don’t follow trends at their height. They wait for things to slow down and then determine whether or not it’s something they’re even interested in.

Sometimes it turns out they don’t really have an interest in the trend so they don’t participate. But other times they find themselves enthusiastic even when things have died down and thats when they choose to join in.

I suppose it’s just about discernment really but that is something that takes practice.

Perhaps one day you won’t have to wait until it’s no longer trendy to figure out if you’re really interested.

The problem with pedestaling

Disclaimer: By pedestaling, I just means to put someone on a pedestal.

I’ve noticed quite a lot recently that people put celebrities, popular people, well known people, people they follow online and overall people that they don’t know much about on a pedestal.

They see someone that sings great songs, dresses well, posts pretty pictures, is good looking, writes captivating articles, shares relatable tweets or has some other positive or good quality and then they fill in the blanks convincing themselves they know the person.

They fill in the blanks with ideas of the person being perfect, amazing at everything and faultless. In some cases it’s to the point of idolising them.

So, when this person does something they don’t like, makes a mistake or even doesn’t show up online in the way they think they should, they end up taking it personally and feeling hurt.

But the truth is you didn’t know this person in the first place, you just created this fantasy of who they are in your mind.

How lockdown changed my writing routine?

Prior to mid-march 2020 my writing time consisted of my journey to and from work, my lunch break and in the evenings after dinner. I’d do my best to plan ahead and have my posts scheduled for 7.30am each morning.

But once lockdown started my day to day life changed significantly. I was no longer travelling to and from work each day, my work and home life were blended.

Over the past couple of months I’ve stopped planning ahead, almost never schedule posts in advance and I’m no longer posting in the morning. Instead I write and post on my blog in the evenings as my day is winding down. I’m still posting the same amount but I actually find that it’s a lot easier.

It’s much simpler and less time consuming which means I have more time for everything else that i enjoy.

What next?

When leading a movement or if you put yourself in a position to be a voice for change, a question to regularly ask is, what next?

What next, when things don’t go to plan?

What next, when people lose motivation?

What next, when you complete one of the things you were working towards?

The road to your destination will be paved with what next over and over again.

If you’re not ready to ask yourself (or be asked) that question and start figuring out an answer, then perhaps you’re not ready to lead.

To lead takes innovation, a strong sense of self, dedication and commitment.

Not everybody is able to hold out their hand and say come this way.

In an ideal world

That’s a phrase often used when you’re in a defeated mindset. It is often followed by something that we don’t think is possible.

e.g. In an ideal world we would be able to overcome these injustices.

If in an ideal world us as society, as humanity would be able to overcome the injustices then why can’t it happen.

It’ll take much more than a day or 2 but if you cared enough to think it or to say it, then maybe it’s worth trying.

We as people make the world what it is collectivley, it’s not so seperate from us that we have no impact.

As The Drifters song goes ‘you just have to wish to make it so’. It takes much more than a wish alone but it doesn’t mean that, that’s not where change can begin.

Things that help

Just a little reminder for whenever you get overwhelmed with everything that is going on. It can be easy to forget how far you’ve come or all the helpful things that you’ve learnt.

Going for a walk – I think this must be one of the most popular things that people do to clear their head plus it gets the body moving.

Sitting in silence – We rarely sit in silence there’s always something whether you’re listening by choice or it’s background noise like music, TV or a conversation.

Talking to a friend – Choose someone that will listen but be mindful and ask before offloading. You don’t have to even talk about the issue at hand maybe just have a random chat about life.

Talking to a stranger – Not literally but some that is unbiased and not part of your everyday life like a therapist or a helpline set up to support people with different issues they’re facing.

Meditation – Maybe your mediation is sitting in silence but maybe it’s a guided mediation to ease stress or anxiety. It helps to be still sometimes and we often underestimate the impact it can have because we feel like it won’t help to just stop or at least slow down.

EFT – Also known as tapping. This is probably one of the most unexpectedly helpful things I’ve ever come across. I love that it doesn’t require any materials and is easy to do.

Laughter – They call laughter the medicine of life and I believe it. Something funny can totally shift your mood on days when you feel down.

Dancing – Dancing brings me so much joy and it’s another way to get the body moving. When your feeling down and remain still it enables the emotions to become heavy and weigh you down. Plus if dancing is something you associate with fun or celebrations it’ll actually help you feel better.

Uplifting words – Whether it’s podcasts, talks, songs or books, find words that uplift you. I even find it helpful to read back my own words because much of what I write is timeless and based around overcoming challenges.

Little wins

As much as it’s great to archeive something big, some days it just doesn’t happen.

Some days are slower, you feel a little lost or perhaps you’re not sure where to begin.

At the end of it you might feel like your day has been wasted or that you should have done more.

You might feel this way because you know you could have easily done so much more if only you put in the effort. On the other hand you might feel like you’ve failed your own expectations even though you tried your hardest.

However you feel, there’s no point beating yourself up about it. Some days are meant for the little wins such as: finishing a chapter of the book you’re reading, tidying your living space and a long phone phone call with a close friend.

Why it’s so hard to change

You spend a large amount of your formative years trying to figure yourself out. You’re favourite colour, what you like to eat and the kinds of movies you like to watch.

But it goes much deeper than that. Perhaps it’s what political party you want to support, your career path, whether you want to get married or have kids, who your friends are, your opinion on world issues and the sort of place you want to live.

However, sometimes these things change. Perhaps you wanted to be an Accountant at 19 but years later you now want to be a Visual Merchandiser.

Changing your path might feel difficult because it goes against the person you thought you were, the character of you that you created.

Suddenly other aspects of yourself may no longer seem to fit because one part of you has changed.

This is the point where many choose not to change.

I’ve wanted to be an accountant for long so I may as well stick with it. 

It’s going to be so hard to become a Visual Merchandiser so I may as well stick with a more stable option.

The thing is though you’re allowed to change, not only from childhood to adulthood but day to day.

As you gain new experiences, your perspectives will change. Don’t reject your development and hold yourself back.

 

Creating a sustainable business

Some of the businesses that have suffered the most are the ones built on bringing people together and having person to person interactions.

On the other hand for the people that have created online businesses they can run from anywhere, it’s pretty much business as usual. They may even be seeing an increase in customers/clients as people look for something to turn to in these uncertain times.

And so now these people that used to run businesses based on people being together are having to re-think their plans.

Asking themselves questions like ‘How can I transform the in person experience to an online experience without a loss of value?’. That could be as a plan to totally move their business to the online world or to be a supplement to their usual income.

An example could be in person one on one coaching, moving to online one on one coaching or group coaching sessions.

A group cooking class moving a to live online cooking class that can also be purchased afterwards.

A baked goods store moving to click and collect or home delivery.

I think the current situation has made a lot of people realise that their are different (and in some cases better) ways of doing things.

 

Getting across the beam

We often underestimate the role that belief plays in our development. But the truth is you could be so much more if only you believed.

Take something as seemingly insignificant as walking across a balancing beam. The people that make it from one side to the other will be the ones that believe they can get across.

Sure they might fall off a few times but because they already believe it’s possible they’ll have the determination to keep trying.

On the other hand, the ones who don’t believe, well they’re more likely to fall off and less likely to keep trying.

Or they won’t even try at all.