Reasons to take space

Taking space is something we’re often reluctant to do.

It could be space from a person, a habit or even just social media.

For me the purpose of space is to gain clarity.

It’s difficult to get that when you’re in the situation which is why it is necessary to remove yourself.

At first you always miss the thing that you’re taking space from because you’re so used to it being part of your day to day life but then you feel refreshed and wonder why you clung to that thing so much in the first place. Then after that comes the sense of knowing that without this thing in your life you’ll still be totally fine.

I don’t think we always anticipate that that last realisation will come which is why we can be reluctant to give things up.

I think we quite often think the opposite which is that we’ll feel as though we can’t live without the thing or come to crave it even more than before.

It could be something like snacking on sugary foods, a person you believe yourself to be so totally in love with or maybe it’s Instagram.

Whatever it is in your life, don’t be too afraid to take space from it.

You might even find that you no longer want the thing in your life and if that’s the case, be willing to let it go.

Not everything is meant to last.

Doing it wrong

If I aksed someone for advice on how to make this site better, I have a pretty good idea of what they would say.

The first thing is that I should use pictures to accompany my posts as a way to draw in readers.

The second is that I should promote my content on social media to put my stuff out there to a wider audience, not just fellow WordPress users.

To some the way I have chosen to run this site might mean that I am doing it wrong but in the 18 months since I started, I’m really pleased with what I have created.

The goal for me is to never reach the most amount of people or have the biggest audience. Those things won’t make me a better a writer or make me more committed to posting everyday.

When it comes to using pictures, if I have to post an image to get someone to read just over 100 words (the length of most of my posts) then that’s not the kind of reader I want. When it comes to social media although I have an Instagram account for this site my main focus will always be the daily blog posts and right now the extra effort it would take to promote on Instagram isn’t worth it.

And so sometimes you have to realise that what might be right for others is wrong for you and what is wrong for others might be exactly what you need to be doing.

As easy as possible

When it comes to the things we do in our day to day life, I think it’s important to make it as easy as possible.

If you want to read more, have a book on your bedside table instead of tighly slotted into your bookshelf.

If you want to spend more time with friends, make plans in advance instead of getting frustrated that they aren’t available with short notice.

If you want to drink more water, fill up a water bottle and keep it with you wherever you go instead of waiting until you’re thirsty.

A big part of changing your habits and the way you live your life comes from making a conscious effort not simply wishing you could be different.

Not enough time

One of the most popular excuses people make is not having enough time.

Yet you’re able to make time for things that you don’t even really consider to be important.

Meanwhile, it’s your life long dream that you’re willing to put on hold or sometimes put off altogether.

There’s no denying that it can be difficult to make time but surely you’d be willing to find a way for the things you truly care about.

Finding a way might mean getting up a little earlier, watching one episode of that show you like instead of three or even making use of your train journeys.

It might seem challenging but with a little thought and a little effort, it’s definitely possible to make the most of the time you have.

Two types of perfectionists

When you think of a perfectionist, what comes to mind?

Almost every time it’s the type A personality who is incredibly organised and competitive. The sort of person who is particular and also explicit about wanting to get things right.

But there is a different kind of perfectionist too.

The second is the sort of person that procrastinates and fears their best will never be good enough.

Beneath the surface they seek perfectionism too. They have such high expectations that they won’t even try if they think they can’t meet them. This sort of person feels disappointed if they produce something that isn’t ‘perfect’.

The difference between these 2 people is that the first is willing to try.

Slowly building

Rome wasn’t built in a day and neither were helpful habits.

If you want to start reading more, getting up at 6am every morning, eating more nourishing food or committing to your creative projects, one day won’t make a difference on it’s own.

It’s a series of days, one by one, bit by bit that make the real difference.

One day isn’t enough to build a habit but that’s where things start. That one day will become 30 days and then 90 until that thing you’ve been doing each day is now part of your daily routine.

When you’re getting started, it’s worth remembering that change takes time. Don’t be disappointed after 3 days if you don’t feel like it, your brain is still getting used to your new way of doing things. Instead focus on it one day at a time and remember that you’re working towards something long-term.

And on days when you don’t feel like practicing your new habit, it won’t matter in the short-run but in the long run you’ll probably be glad you committed to it.

Breaking up the day

If you”re working on a laptop from 9-5 and spend your evenings scrolling social media, watching youtube and binging the latest fantasy thriller series, you’ll have spent most of your day staring at a screen.

You aren’t going out to restaurants, going for drinks, visiting museums, catching up with friends in a local cafe or going dancing like you used.

When you’re spending your days staring at a screen, it’s no wonder the days will start to blur into one.

Obviously you can’t eliminate the 8 working hours from your day but being at home means you have some level of flexibility when it comes to how you choose to structure your day.

What are you doing in-between work, emails, YouTube, Instagram, Twitter, Whatsapp, Facebook, Netflix etc?

What are you doing to break up your day?

Now might be the perfect time to find some offline hobbies that you can easily do from home, things that don’t require a screen.

It could be hand embroidery, baking, gardening, reading, drawing, making body butter, mixing essential oils, writing in a notebook or sewing on a machine.

It’s not about ditching your screens but instead acknowledging that you might get more fulfillment from an hour of baking in the afternoon instead of an extra hour on social media.

Things to be grateful for

It’s easy to be grateful when things are going your way.

But when times are uncertain and life has thrown a spanner in the works gratitude often becomes a little more challenging.

Suddenly the most prominent things are the bad stuff and you’re not thankful for your life being turned upside down.

In these times it’s even more important to practice gratitude.

The real benefits of the practice come when you’re able to make it a part of your lifestyle, independent of your circumstances.

And so maybe it used to be I’m grateful for getting to be apart of this exciting project or some other major thing that you feel like shouting from the rooftops. But now it’s more like I’m grateful for these cosy socks, the flowers in my garden and running water.

 

Making space for what works

Things that take a small amount of effort in the short term can end up providing great results long term.

And in the moment when we make the choice to give more, it can be easy to question whether or not it’s worth it.

Things like:

Ironing your clothes for the week ahead

Making your lunch the night before

Answering an email the day you receive it

Having a night routine

Meal prepping

When you don’t feel like doing something it’s always useful to think about how good you’ll feel in the future. You’ll feel more relaxed, prepared and organised.

Who wouldn’t want that?

Boredom and avoidance

If you think you’re bored you might find that there’s actually something you’re avoiding.

So often we find ourselves feeling like we have nothing to do, when in reality we’re just putting off what needs to be done.

When you don’t want to do something, it feels easier to avoid it in favour of something else, even if something else is doing nothing at all