The waiting game

Not all games are worth playing, not unless you have to.

If you could choose certainty over uncertainty, would you?

Would you still choose certainty if it required courage and perhaps a little discomfort (which is totally normal when something is new).

If the answer is no then that means that your fear overrides the bit of you that wants to be at peace. That you’ll accept long-term discomfort because it’s comfortable and familiar over short term momentary discomfort that will lead to peace.

It might be hard to admit to you yourself and even harder to say out loud but what if it’s true.

What if you’re subconsciously (or consciously now that you’re aware) holding yourself back because you’ve become comfortable with discomfort.

I’ve always said that there’s comfort in familiarity, it’s a better the devil you know kind of situation.

So, if you find yourself in the waiting game and it’s uncomfortable, don’t keep playing.

Do something different, it might feel scary but it might be worth it.

Overcoming and explanations

If you take the time to read (or listen enough you’ll find that science (or philosophy or spirituality or whatever floats your boat) can explain everything.

And once you know there’s a reason behind something, especially if it’s difficult or challenging it might help you overcome it.

It turns out that the secrets of who we are and how we feel aren’t that that rare. You’re not the only one who… [insert thing here].

You might think you are because you’ve never spoken about it, because you don’t know anyone that’s spoken about it or maybe you feel so dreadful about it that you can’t imagine anyone else has to deal with this ‘thing’ and life too.

I’ve had many challenges that felt pretty overwhelming at times and then came Godin, Sinek, Dweck, Eagleman and podcasts.

After a while I began to understand that maybe this stuff wasn’t ‘the end of the world’ but instead part of it and it didn’t have to stay with me forever.

And of course writing has helped immensely because that’s the power of telling stories of life.

The storm before the calm

Often in life there are things we go through in order to reap the rewards later on.

To study for a degree because you’ve been convinced that having one will make things easier in the future.

To stay in a relationship that isn’t great but you hope that it’ll all be for the best once you’re married with kids.

We rationalise it as short term pain for long term gain but sometimes it’s a lack faith.

Maybe you don’t believe there’s better out there so you settle for what you can get.

You say ‘I’m willing to brave the storm’ in the hopes that the calm will follow (and that the storm won’t totally rip you to shreds).

And that’s cool because it’s an option that you can take if you want but maybe there’s more out there for you.

Maybe you could also choose the calm without the storm because you don’t have to settle and you don’t have to go through ‘hard times’ in order for ‘good things’ to happen.

Life changing habits: Practice gratitude

I’m grateful for so many things in my life.

One thing in particular is my right hand because I use it to write and writing is something that I attribute to so much of who I am as a person, like that’s how deep it goes.

I usually do a morning gratitude when I’m still in bed, when I’m brushing my teeth or when I’m walking to the bus stop.

I even do it when I’m in a bad mood. It never fails to lift my spirit because it reminds me that I have so much goodness that I can focus on and so much that I easily forget or look past because it’s always around.

I never thought something as simple as being grateful could actually have that much of an impact.

When it comes to things that are life changing we often fall into thinking it has to be big and dramatic “just like they do on the tv” but more often than not that’s not the case.

I’m grateful for my hope, curiosity, resilience, laughter, my job, my friends, my right hand, the park by my house, my grandparents…

The list goes on because my life is overflowing with things to be grateful for.

When I truly learned how to take that in, it changed my life.

The big idea

I often like to remind myself of Zig Ziglars popular quote ‘Anything worth doing is worth doing poorly until you can learn to do it well.‘

So, how do you execute a big idea when you’re just starting out. Or do you just put it on hold until you have more experience.

I used to think that it was best to wait because I didn’t want to look back on a good idea and see how much better it could have been.

But in doing that, I wasn’t allowing myself the room for trial and error, room to improve.

There’s nothing wrong in doing something poorly , it’s part of the process. Not everything you do will be perfect and treating things as so will only limit your potential.

So, if you have a big idea that you’re holding back on, now might be the perfect time to do something with it.

Testing the theory

Giving advice is easy but practicing what you preach takes commitment and belief. Especially when you as a reader don’t know what I do day to day so for you to take in or use what I say means I’m building trust.

A big part of that is being honest and living what I write. In a recent challenge that is set to become my biggest growth point I felt myself dwelling and wondered how long it would last.

That is until I remembered my post titled bouncebackability and I them started to think not about how dreadful the situation was but instead what I would need to overcome it.

When you don’t get what you thought you wanted

My childhood perception of my twenties was that I’d be married or at least engaged, living in my own home and possibly have a kid on the way. But once I got to my twenties I realised that I used those things to escape from actually thinking about what I wanted to do with my life.

I don’t feel like an actual proper adult and I’m not sure I ever will but I also have no idea what that’s meant to feel like. However, I have had lots of experiences that have taught me useful things and allowed me to develop and grow.

Even though those things were challenging, they’re a big reason of why I can so confidently show up here on this site and write about overcoming things, offering tips or advice and writing about the dream-life.

My life isn’t what kid me thought it would be but I can count on 2 hands some of the things I’m grateful for. In not having the life I thought I would in my early twenties it’s forced me to confront the very things I was running from.

And because of that my life is much more interesting (or at least that’s the story I tell myself).