Why you shouldn’t focus on what you don’t want

In a book a read a while back it explained why we should focus on what we do want instead of what we don’t want.

It gave the example of someone telling you not to think of a purple elephant and how despite being told not to that is exactly where the mind wanders. That simple example is the same for our wants and goals. It’s the reason why the focus should be on the things that we actually wan’t.

When you spend time focusing on what you don’t wan’t your mind will give energy to those things. Your mind will visualise and think about these things which will only amplify them in your physical reality.

 

Good enough and better

When doing something new or something that you aren’t familiar with it’s easy to get caught in the anxiety loop of not being good enough.

‘I don’t want to lead this project because I’m not good enough’ or ‘I don’t want to contribute my idea because it won’t be good enough.’

But the irony is nobody is good enough out the gate. The trick is to focus on yourself, on being better than you were last year or even just yesterday.

And then bit by bit you’ll get better and better. And that will always be good enough.

Thinking of you and getting things done

Sometimes I wonder about the people that read my blog.

How old are you?

What do you do for a living?

Are you into fashion (I am!)?

What do you like about my blog?

What do you want to see more of?

Some of those questions are worth asking more than others but overall I’m not sure that I can say it’s information that I need.

It’s just my curiosity.

Sometimes when we’re working on a task or project we focus too much on things that don’t actually add to the work that we’re doing.

Granted sometimes they do add to the work but if the majority of my effort or time is going into something that is only a small part of the work overall, then I wont end up with the result that I really want.

An inconsistent tortoise

I often make comparisons between myself and others that do similar things to me or things similar to what I’d like to do.

Then the other day I read a quote by Mark Manson I think, it that was about competing with yourself and it really resonated.

It effected me differently because despite seeing (and rolling my eyes at) countless you only need to compete with yourself blah, blah blah quotes it never really clicked for me.

But the more I think about the things I’d like to do in life the more I realise how pointless it is to compete with others because I don’t want to be like them in terms of what I create. I think too much focus on competing creates space for distractions from the work, the goal, the plan.

I’ve progressed over the years, granted it’s been at an inconsistent stop and start tortoise pace but like that well known quote goes, slow progress is better than no progress.

Step 5

I have a habit of focusing on the bigger picture. I’m trying to see if it’s possible to come up with 365 blog posts in around a month.

The fear of failing is real. But at the same time it doesn’t really mean anything if I miss a day as the only person I’m doing this for is me.

But I’m reminding myself to take things as they come. The longest journey starts with a single step. A daily blog starts with the promise to show up and the discipline to say I’ll post daily, I won’t promise it’ll be perfect but I’m willing to show up and share something.