Sometimes difficult things are only difficult because we choose to perceive them to be.
But if it works one way then maybe it can work the other way.
Maybe, difficult things will become a little less challenging if we choose to perceive them to be easier to overcome.
When doing something new, if you don’t do it well or you face challenges along the way, you might find yourself feeling frustrated.
Sometimes, that feeling you get will determine your willingness to do the thing again and effect how much effort you put in.
Finding it difficult in the beginning might even cause you to believe that you’ll never get it.
However, often the case is that you just need to do it a few more times until it becomes more familiar.
Then in time it’ll become easier.
Every once in a while I am reminded of the power of taking a walk in nature.
It is calming, refreshing, relaxing and simple.
If you haven’t done it for a while, I’d recommend it.
You’ll often find that some of the most helpful things are the cheapest, easiest and most accessible. But instead we end up looking to things that are expensive, difficult and challenging to obtain.
I think the reason for this is that we assume that big problems will require big solutions. Or if you’re not ready to work at something, you can use the excuse of the solution being out of reach, something you don’t have access to.
It can be difficult to comprehend that the very thing you need to help make things better, is something you can do right now.
It’s easy to talk about the weather, your favourite TV show, what you had for dinner and what you got up to at the weekend.
But often when it comes to topics like mental health, fears and struggles suddenly talking becomes difficult.
Part of why it’s so difficult is because we don’t do it enough. What if having difficult conversations could be made easier with practice?
Talking when it’s difficult often requires you to venture out into new territory even if it is with someone you’re familiar with. But what you gain from having difficult conversations is what makes it worth doing.
It can be difficult to have conversations about things that feel uncomfortable. You might find it so difficult that you avoid it altogether and shut down whenever anyone tries to bring it up with you.
That might seem like the best option because why would anyone choose to feel uncomfortable.
However, when you avoid something it doesn’t go away and you don’t allow yourself room to grow.
So instead of avoiding a difficult conversation or holding back when you speak, try something different.
Be open, honest and know that the initial uncomfortable feeling will subside.
It’ll take a bit of practice but eventually you’ll get to a place where the difficult conversation is actually pretty easy.
Sometimes the hardest part is facing it.
Once you accept it, you can make a plan for what do next. That for many is exciting.
However, facing the difficult truth is the necessary first step. You do it by acknowledging and understanding the situation. In some cases it will involve admitting the role that you played contributed to a negative outcome.
That’s a helpful lesson because it allows you to understand the implications of your actions.
It might be a bitter pill to swallow but we all make mistakes. Luckily, we also have the capacity to fix them and make things better.
When you feel low or sad about something it can be difficult to know what t do with the feeling. After all you don’t want to feel it, you’d much rather the sadness just left you alone.
But the thing with difficult feelings and feelings in general is that they don’t leave if you don’t allow yourself to feel them.
And then there is the question of how do you feel your feelings.
I don’t think there is a set answer of how but I’ll share what works for me.
Writing is incredibly therapeutic, I do it everyday.
Writing allows you to explore yourself freely and can be used as a tool to express how you feel. If you’re feeling hurt you can write about it. But you can also ask yourself questions like ‘why does this bother me?’ or ‘what would make me feel better right now?’ and then write until you have some kind of answer or at least until your mood has shifted.
A difficult conversation is a conversation worth having.
It’s hard speaking up when you don’t know how to say things eloquently, you’re worried about how people will react and feel like nobody will pay attention.
But that doesn’t mean you should say nothing.
Maybe it means you should take a different approach, ensure you’re talking to the right people and trust that even if you don’t get the outcome you wanted at least you tried.
Sometimes we’re so focused on the end result that if things don’t go our way, we end up thinking that it was mistake to even try.
It’s easy to talk about things that are easy.
But when it comes to comes to feelings, wants and needs, things often get a little more challenging.
Often problems will arise, simply because you didn’t speak up and let the other person know how you felt or what you needed. When you hold things in, they rarely go away, they just build up over time.
So, maybe 6 months later when you feel angry and frustrated towards someone you won’t even consider that maybe things could have turned out differently, if only you had said ‘I want you to make more of an effort’ instead of keeping quiet.
Granted people won’t always meet your needs, even if you desperately want them too.
But you’re better off speaking up and giving the other person a chance, than just holding things in and ending up disappointed that people can’t read your mind.
Some things in life are difficult to solve.
There are lots of factors to consider, plus you have to find something that works for people that don’t think the same way.
What works for one won’t necessarily for everyone else. The great idea you had might not work.
And that is not just my opinion but instead some thoughts relating to some of the challenges we face as a society.
The solution isn’t to try and please everyone. I think the solution would be to do what feels right and focus on how you can make a positive impact.