Moving past the victim mentality

When things aren’t going your way in life its easy to feel like things are out of control. Afterall if you had your way things would be going swimmingly, right. We often get caught up in thinking that life hates us, that we’ve been hard done by or that it’s only us that things are going through challenging things.

Sometimes we end up playing this victim role declaring how everyone treated you poorly, when perhaps you didn’t set boundaries or that nothing is going right, when you didn’t stop and access if the way you were doing things was the best action to take.

I’ve played the victim role in the past but these days I’ve shifted my perspective because I know that I play a big part in how my life plays out whether things are good or not.

Its much easier when you take responsibility because if I ‘messed things up’ then I can also fix things. But if it was someone else that caused all the bad stuff in my life then I’d probably grow to resent them and expect them to fix things.

I’ve seen the victim mentality in others and I do my best not to judge because I haven’t been through what they’ve been through and I once had that same mindset. But what I always try to do is remind people that they can change things themselves.

Once you become aware of something that’s the beginning of coming to realise that you don’t just have to allow things to happen in your life that you aren’t okay with.

Maybe that means finding a job that doesn’t drain you, spending time with people that treat you well, spending time with yourself, seeing a councillor/therapist or letting people know how they’ve made you feel.

Most importantly for me was reminding myself that I can’t control anything other than how I respond to things. If I want better in life, then I have to do better. It’s silly to be discontent with your life and think that it’s everything around you that needs to change.

It’s okay to admit that if you change certain things in your life you’ll be happier.

When you start with yourself you’ll notice that everything around you will start to change too.

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