What’s the use in making plans

It always feels good to start projects and make plans (at least it does for me anyway).

But what’s the use in making plans if you don’t follow through.

That really good idea you have could actually be something in the physical reality if you’re willing to bring it to life.

To want and do nothing is of no real use.

It creates a cycle of excitement at the possibility and disappointment at the outcome of nothingness.

Everyone has plans whether its passing thoughts or things you dedicate your daydreams to but if you really want the plan to become part of your reality then you kinda have to do something about it.

The blame game

You don’t have to play, you can always opt out.

I used to be the sort of person who would blame other people for the misfortunes of my life. Not in an explicit way but I felt that I needed certain people in my life to change in order for me to feel better in life.

At the time I truly believed that it was because of ‘them’ that my life had gotten to be so dreadful .

It didn’t even occur to me back then that I was giving my power away, that by blaming others for the state of my life I was declaring that I was not in control.

But after doing some reading, reflecting and ruminating I realised that I’m the one in control of my life.

I also realised that sometimes we subconsciously reject the responsibility over ourselves and our lives and look to other people as ‘the bad guys’ who’ve ruined things for us.

It takes courage to decide to take responsibility and stop playing the blame game.

The problem with relying on someone else to change in order for you to be feel good is that the person may never change. By playing the blame game you just end up missing out and that’s no fun.

Stop complaining and do something

Everybody complains every now and then but if that’s all you do people will soon get bored.

When you complain, you’re identifying a problem and so the next step is finding the solution.

Everyone goes through stages of wanting to change an element of their life but if you’re not willing to do anything about it, you might want to stop talking about it.

If you’re still complaining about the same thing months or years later maybe try asking yourself how can I change this?

You really can change your life, if you want to.

Mind the gap

That’s what’s painted at the platforms edge.

I suppose now is the best time to add the disclaimer that this isn’t about jumping.

The message painted on the platforms edge can be used in conversations about the distance between where you are and where you want to be.

The gap is the space between the known and the unknown and I’ve recently found myself in it which is why I thought I’d write about it.

When you transform your life looking it creates space between you and your past self, sometimes to the point where it doesn’t even feel like you, it’s like a whole different person.

You’re now on the other side of the gap looking back.

It’s like when you’re going through a difficult period and can’t see how to make things better. Then weeks, months or years go by and all of a sudden you’re looking back thinking ‘oh, I actually did it!’. You went from hopeless to hopeful from ‘blah to ta-da!’.

But it’s rare that we see the change happening whilst we’re in the gap and it’s hard to see how to we can overcome it from the other side.

The gap is wide.

For anyone looking to change their life the gap may seem too wide. The space in between is full of trial and error, vulnerability, taking chances and commitment. You can’t get to other side unless you’re willing to go through those things.

So if you’re not willing, mind the gap.

Why shouting might not get the message across

The talker may assume the louder my voice the more they’ll understand what I’m saying,  or maybe they feel like you’re not listening so they have no choice but to shout.

Nobody likes being shouted at and so the listener instead of focusing on the message will focus on the fact that you’re shouting and probably even be closed off to even trying to understand you.

People associate being shouted at with having done something wrong, it’s something associated with parents and teachers.

There’s not much use in shouting to try and get someone to listen, try simply talking instead.

But always remember, no matter how important you think your message is, you can’t force people to listen.

Godin, sunk costs and making the right decision

In the process of making a difficult decision I turned to the words of Seth Godin for guidance. I found a few useful posts on sunk costs and it made me realise one of the things I needed to stop considering.

The past.

When making plans for the future if you do it based on past experiences that didn’t go to plan it taints your mind.

Decisions based on the past are too often made from a place of fear or include factors that have no bearing on the future unless you let them.

I think it’s useful to start by wiping your slate clean. Start with where you’re at right now and weigh up the pros and cons of both choices. And consider what you want and what your personal plans are not just what looks good on the outside.

Dream a new dream

Remaining open to the uncertainty of life has many benefits but a reduction in stress and anxiety are definitely ones worth making a note of.

And so when life doesn’t go to plan it’s okay to embrace uncertainty and dream a new dream. It’s much easier to go with the flow of life than to resist it as they say what you resist persists and I agree.

You might find yourself straying far from where think you want to be or where you thought you’d end up but that doesn’t mean it’s a bad place to be.

Different, unexpected or surprising aren’t equal to bad.