Because you’ll never be ready.
When it comes to fear the mistake we often make is trying to wait for it to go away.
It probably won’t.
But there you are saying no and putting things off because you think that by doing nothing the feeling will go away.
Instead how about try leaning into that feeling (I think Stacey June said something about leaning in on her podcast and maybe she got it from Brene Brown).
Anyway, an important lesson I’ve learnt this year is that you can’t bypass stuff so embrace it.
If not you’ll just end up making excuses and nothing will ever get done.
They might seem the same but they’re not.
An anxious person will grow to become familiar with the feeling of anxiety and how it manifests in they’re day to day life.
And over time they may find that they knowing doing certain things will trigger there anxiety so they won’t do it.
But not because it’s dangerous or unsafe but because they’re afraid. And the thing with fear is that it’s a feeling and so even when in your mind you know it’s fine your body is sending signals that it’s not.
So just because you know yourself when you’re afraid it’s not the same as knowing yourself because you’re more than your fears.
Chances are there’s so many aspects of you that you’ve not given yourself space to explore.
Not those of others but your own.
I think a lot of people have expectations for what they want out of life. And despite the popular phrase that goes something like ‘If you’re dreams don’t scare you they’re not big enough’, high expectations can be overwhelming.
But something that I’ve learnt is that you have to be committed and pace yourself. If you truly want to achieve something it shouldn’t be conditional, you should be dedicated to it.
I’ve also found it useful to check in and like to refer back to something Seth Godin once said about how you’re either talking to the wring people or you’re not making good enough stuff.
And I’m at a point where I can see that just because I’m trying hard doesn’t mean what I’m producing is good enough for the outcome that I want.
When that happens I take a step back and re-group. I think about what I’m doing that is good and how I can make it better.
My expectations of myself are quite frankly ridiculous which is why I find them overwhelming. Plus I often make the mistake of focusing on too much on the end goal instead of simply just doing the work.
I don’t have a roundup or a takeaway as I’m still learning how to manage the expectations I have of myself.
However, what I will share is that if you find yourself getting overwhelmed or frustrated you probably need to change what you’re doing or the way you’re thinking.
A few words on self acceptance.
As you take the time to explore yourself you’re likely to discover all kinds of things: the good the bad and the ugly.
You might find that there are some things about yourself that have put you at a disadvantage and they’re not always easy to accept.
The things that make you different, the things that have to be explained in order for people to understand you, the things that make you uncomfortable and maybe it’s things you wish you could just bypass.
But these challenges, the things you find difficult are probably great learning opportunities or what I like to call growth points.
Of course that doesn’t make them any easier but what I’ve learnt is that the more you push back and resist the more challenging things become. Whereas, if you’re more open, willing to accept your circumstances and explain things to the right person (or people), the situation softens.
And once it softens it becomes more malleable and in turn more manageable until eventually you overcome it or learn to handle it better.
Great advice in 5 words.
So many of us want to be successful or achieve certain goals but what are we actually doing about it.
You might think you need another personal development, business or self-help book. Another conference, podcast episode or online course.
When you’re consuming with the goal of applying it to your own work, projects or goals it might be useful to check in every now and then and ask yourself ‘Is this helping me reach my goal?’
If the answer is no then stop trying to collect as much information as possible and start doing whatever your thing is.
It’s easy to think that more is always better but if you’re not doing anything with the information, what’s the point?
I think for some people fear comes into play. They say ‘I’ll start when I know more about it’ but there will always be something new to learn.
I think a pretty good approach is to just start and keep learning as you go. It might be scary but I bet you it will be worth it.
What happened to all those plans you made?
Starting is always exciting and finishing is always the aim. But somehow you let stuff get in the way of your plans.
You focused too much on the problems instead of how to make things happens.
You used your free time passively and felt like you needed more hours in the day.
You ran out of steam.
You listened to that person who said it wouldn’t work.
You lost faith in the plan.
You got stick and didn’t push through.
If your plans are often ending up unfinished you might want to figure out why. You might want to slow down and not get carried away with the joy of starting something new.
You might want to learn to stick things out until the end because some things are worth finishing.
Some days are easier than others.
I have days when the words pour out with such ease that it can be hard to keep up. But I also have days when I’ll open my laptop to write and after 30 minutes I’ve gone back and forth on the same few sentences and I have a total of 23 words on the page.
But by posting daily I can’t rely on the days when it’s easy to write because those moments don’t come 7 days a week.
Instead I’ve taught myself to work through the days when the words don’t come as easy and still end up with something I’m happy to share.
I find that once I’m willing to try and write the ‘block’ eventually dissolves and out pour the words.