Some days are easier than others.
I have days when the words pour out with such ease that it can be hard to keep up. But I also have days when I’ll open my laptop to write and after 30 minutes I’ve gone back and forth on the same few sentences and I have a total of 23 words on the page.
But by posting daily I can’t rely on the days when it’s easy to write because those moments don’t come 7 days a week.
Instead I’ve taught myself to work through the days when the words don’t come as easy and still end up with something I’m happy to share.
I find that once I’m willing to try and write the ‘block’ eventually dissolves and out pour the words.
I think it’s important to get to know yourself. Not just on a surface level but right down deep to the core.
Not just your likes and dislikes but your beliefs and why you do the things you do.
Something I’ve always focused on is behaviour. When you find yourself doing and saying things or feeling like you are making a choice to act a certain way, if you take a step back you might come to realise that you’ve just been falling into a familiar habit loop over and over again.
That you’ve become so accustomed to your past behaviour that you turn to it whenever similar situations occur without actually considering if it’s the best way to respond.
So next time you’re about to get riled up or raise your voice ask yourself ‘Is this something I want to do or am I just doing it because it’s familiar?’
The answer might surprise you.
I’ve learnt a lot by simply looking at my own behaviour and assessing what does and doesn’t work.
That’s a large part of what I write and something that begins as why do I always xyz turns into me learning about a psychological theory, brain stuff and people stuff.
Recently I’ve been learning through practical experience that when you have an issue you can’t bypass the main bit of it, the brunt of it.
It’s one of those things that I know but at times still try to ignore which results in un-ideal circumstances.
Which is just a reminder that what you resists persists, you can’t bypass the brunt.
On how life imitates being in water when you can’t swim.
Sometimes in all the flurry and commotion of being thrown into the deep end, you forget to check how deep it actually is.
If you stop panicking and give yourself a moment to stop, to take a deep breath and to place your feel firmly on the ground you might realise that the deep end is not that deep after all.
But sometimes it is ‘that deep’ which is why learning to swim is so important and if you haven’t learnt how to swim yet, the best thing you can do for now is to stay afloat.
Perhaps one of the most valuable lessons a friend has taught me is to not take life so seriously and to laugh more at the ebb and flow of life.
Life is totally different when you’re willing to be less rigid and laugh at your experiences. When you’re hard on yourself for simply being a human that goes through a variety of experiences, life becomes hard.
But when you laugh and remind yourself that it’s all just a collection of experiences then life somehow softens towards you.
We often say things that don’t align with how we feel.
Sometimes it’s because we don’t feel in control or we’re scared to be assertive.
Other times we’re not even aware that we don’t really feel what we are saying but the proof is in what we do.
It’s like if someone says they want to make new friends but all they do is go to work and then spend time at home watching Netflix, then still complain that they have no people to hang out with even though they make no conscious effort to even be around new people.
We’ve all fallen into wishing and waiting at some point in our lives. And when you stop and think you’ll often find that you’re either not ready for what you think you want or you don’t truly want it.
Sometimes both apply.
The expectation to be considered isn’t one that I’d want from many, but when someone tries to convince you that they do consider you, if their actions don’t align then it’s justifiable to let them know how you feel.
You don’t have to ‘go off!’ at the person and make things dramatic. However, it is important to communicate that based on their actions regarding x, y or z, it’s clear that they did not mean the things they said.
It’s sometimes confronting to be truthful and honest (especially when it comes to the way you feel) because it’s you standing in your power saying ‘I’m not willing to accept less and I don’t deserve to settle’.