I’m a personal journal/diary writer. It’s my trade of 10+ years and from doing that writing in first person using ‘I’ is something that comes naturally to me.
But when writing in a space for other people to read I’ve started to realise that unless I’m writing for you to get to know me then I should start using you or we.
And sometimes that means writing and then re-writing. But it’s not just about the use of I. It’s about having this space not feel like my journal (minus names and places).
But sometimes the use of I is necessary because I like to throw in bits of my life here and there so you know where I’m coming from rather than just throwing out things that are ‘helpful’.
On how sometimes the seemingly simple across of speaking up can transform your whole life.
Talking helps when you allow yourself to be open, honest and vulnerable with the right people.
This could be family, friends, your manager at work, your gp or perhaps a therapist.
We so often get caught in our own stuff that we build it up to be so much more than it really is but when you talk about it, often that other person can help you start to see things differently.
When you don’t say things and you keep everything inside it becomes much bigger, scarier and potentially life threatening.
I think the hardest part is taking the first step in saying this is happening in my life and I’m going to talk about it.
A question worth asking before you click publish in order to avoid that dreaded feeling of sharing something you’re not happy with.
Not everyone will get something from what you share each day but that’s not the point. The point is to share something you’re happy with.
If it sparks a thought or shifts a perspective etc then great but if not there’ll be something new tomorrow.
And the day after that.
Imagine that you could order a life refresh online and it would come in the post, perhaps same day amazon prime delivery. Maybe it would come in a sachet with fun 80s graphics on the cover.
You tear across the top, pour it into a glass of water, stir and drink.
It’d put you to sleep with the promise that you’d wake up to a new life or perhaps just a fresh perspective on your current life.
I think we often underestimate the power of perspective. You’re new life is here if you’re willing to think differently, to think another way.
I worry about sounding airy fairy when I come out with statements like that but the power of perspective is very real.
We all have at some point changed our thoughts and opinions on particular topics, looked at them from a different angle and realised that sometimes we have the opportunity to grow and think differently.
Even if it contradicts the way you used to think.
When you think of networking what comes to mind?
For me it used to be fancy people in fancy clothing making conversation with the right people.
Everyone would act important even if they didn’t believe it and being the person that everyone wanted to talk to was a signal to the rest of the room that yes you were really a somebody, not just a pretender.
But one morning whilst making my lunch for work, I started thinking about all the people I’ve met over the last 12 months and my growing collection of business cards.
I realised that over the past year or so I’d been networking accidentally. I’ve met people starting businesses, brand owners, fellow bloggers, photographers, Web designers and other creatives.
When you have an idea in your head of how something should look or how it’s supposed to be, chances are you might miss it when it happens.
Sometimes, we plan for things and think that as long as we assess all possible outcomes nothing can go wrong.
But there will always be times when things don’t go to plan. It’s not because life is against you or that you didn’t prepare enough.
It’s just the way it goes sometimes.
There’s that story about a bunch of people blindfolded touching different parts of an elephant and describing what it’s like.
Each description is different yet all are valid. But to the man without a blindfold who can see the animal the others may all be wrong or only partially right. They’re each doing their best to offer a perspective based on the information that’s been given.
In Neuro Linguistic Programming there’s a presupposition that says:
Everyone is doing the best they can with the resources they have available
And so if we accept this presupposition perhaps we can be a little more understanding of where people are coming from.