The outsiders mentality

People that think they’re outsiders act like outsiders.

The idea of being an outsider is often a self-fulfilling prophecy, something that is brought into existence rather than being totally true in the first place.

When the thought comes into your mind, as soon as you hold onto it and allow it to become a part of how you identify yourself you’ll subconsciously work to make it true.

Being an outsider is associated with being fringe, being different but sometimes even unique or original.

It can have both positive and negative connotations.

As soon as you start to think you’re different and ‘not like them’. You’ll start to separate yourself, exclude yourself even. Often that is what makes a person become an outsider.

The reality is, groups of people come together that are very different all the time.

Why it’s so hard to change

You spend a large amount of your formative years trying to figure yourself out. You’re favourite colour, what you like to eat and the kinds of movies you like to watch.

But it goes much deeper than that. Perhaps it’s what political party you want to support, your career path, whether you want to get married or have kids, who your friends are, your opinion on world issues and the sort of place you want to live.

However, sometimes these things change. Perhaps you wanted to be an Accountant at 19 but years later you now want to be a Visual Merchandiser.

Changing your path might feel difficult because it goes against the person you thought you were, the character of you that you created.

Suddenly other aspects of yourself may no longer seem to fit because one part of you has changed.

This is the point where many choose not to change.

I’ve wanted to be an accountant for long so I may as well stick with it. 

It’s going to be so hard to become a Visual Merchandiser so I may as well stick with a more stable option.

The thing is though you’re allowed to change, not only from childhood to adulthood but day to day.

As you gain new experiences, your perspectives will change. Don’t reject your development and hold yourself back.

 

Singer, Mistress and Spy

We often have a habit of having a very shallow view of popular people. Not in the materialistic sense but instead that we forget to perceive the depth of a human being in these kinds of people.

We take them at face value, as 2D versions of their true selves forgetting to consider that they have whole other lives separate to what we know them for.

Gabrielle Chanel is one of the most iconic fashion designers in history. But before pursuing that career she had her sights set on being a performer (she was also a Mistress to many and a Nazi Spy). It’s an almost strange thought to comprehend.

If you simply look at Chanel for all she achieved in her life time and the luxury brand that still stands today you might end up forgetting that she actually had to work for it.

When you’ve spent a few years pursuing a side hustle that you hoped would becoming your main thing, it’s can be hard to let it go, even when you know it’s not working.

Chanel probably had no chance of becoming who she was if she’d kept on singing.

Don’t ever be afraid to move on to something new.

Engrossed in the work

When you think of work, what sort of works come to mind?

Is it fun, exciting, thought provoking, challenging and interesting…

or is it more along the lines of boring, difficult, repetitive and time consuming?

Work often comes with a negative connotation that has nothing to do with the actual work.

The truth is work can be interesting and difficult or thought provoking and time consuming. But that doesn’t mean we shouldn’t enjoy it.

Of course if you’re inner monologue is on a loop about how boring your work is you probably won’t have a good time doing it.

The work often gets better once you engross yourself in it instead of having ‘negative’ feelings toward it.

The right thing to do

Sometimes right and wrong is hazy.

Other times right and wrong is black and white.

The interesting part is when 2 groups come together with 2 different perspectives.

In the current state of the world, many would argue that the right thing to do is stay home as much as possible and practice social distancing. And these same people see it pretty black and white.

On the other hand there is a group of people who are out regularly and socialising in groups. They know they aren’t supposed to, they know the impacts of doing so and the benefits of abiding by the rules yet they still reject them.

For these people right and wrong is hazy.

Or maybe they just like the idea of being rebellious.

Going round in circles

Sometimes you get caught in a loop that you’d rather not be in.

Two people with who see the world differently are likely to end up going round in circles when they try to explain their point of view.

But it’s also important to talk to people that think differently to you. It broadens your awareness and can also help make you more accepting of people that don’t think the way you do. That’s important, or at least I think it is.

Instead of getting caught in a loop of right and wrong or competing to see who can talk the loudest, why not make listening a priority.

And then instead of feeling like you have to prove your perspective, know that your thoughts are valid.

Once you listen and know that you don’t have anything to prove you’re so much less likely to find yourself going round in circles. It really can be that easy.

Uncharted territory

It’s easy to stick with what you know especially when it works.

But sometimes it’s good to try something new, explore uncharted territory.

Not just because what you’re used to isn’t working but because there’s is so much out there.

Trying new things help broaden your perspective.

Plus, how can you talk about how great something is when it’s the only thing you’ve tried.

Granted what you already know might turn out to be the best option but it doesn’t mean that alternatives aren’t worth exploring.

Don’t be afraid to try something new.