Making a breakthrough

I’ve said it once and I’ll say it again, talking helps.

When used correctly it’s an excellent tool for self exploration where you can walk away from conversations and gain insight into aspects of yourself you hadn’t yet uncovered.

The beauty of it is that you don’t have to even need talking about the thing. However, you do have to be open and vulnerable to allow things to rise to the surface.

Yes, it might feel scary or uncomfortable but you don’t have to hold onto those feelings.

Do it, because you believe that by exploring your mind it’ll help you figure some things out and that might lead to a breakthrough.

Talk but don’t dwell

Often when we talk about difficult things we get so caught up in the story that we end up dwelling on it.

Sometimes to the point where we end up reliving it and our bodies remember exactly how it felt.

It could be a time you felt rejected, overwhelmed or ignored.

It’s not difficult to understand that those are things you might want to speak about. But it is important that you’re not just talking about it for the sake of it.

Talking is an amazing tool that you can use to help get past or overcome challenges but also just to get things off your chest.

However, if every few days you’re having conversations telling the same story about a situation that didn’t feel good, that’s just dwelling and it’s probably not going to benefit you in any way either.

It’s like that popular quote says:

Where attention goes energy flows

If you catch yourself telling the same stories over and over stop and ask, why?

It could be because you’re not over it and you still have strong emotions attached to whatever happened. If it’s something you want to get past, start with learning how to let go.

 

Boy dreamer

When our dreams are greater than our present circumstances it can be easy to feel like it’s us against life as though we’re pushing back.

You might think you’re the only one with big dreams as everyone else just seems to get on with things without dragging their heels.

But if you take the time to speak to the people around you, you might find that they have dreams too. Talking to the right people will always be helpful and realising you’re not alone is a bonus.

Finding out that someone else in a similar position to you has dreams too is something you might not have even considered. That’s just one of many reasons to not make assumptions.

Why shouting might not get the message across

The talker may assume the louder my voice the more they’ll understand what I’m saying,  or maybe they feel like you’re not listening so they have no choice but to shout.

Nobody likes being shouted at and so the listener instead of focusing on the message will focus on the fact that you’re shouting and probably even be closed off to even trying to understand you.

People associate being shouted at with having done something wrong, it’s something associated with parents and teachers.

There’s not much use in shouting to try and get someone to listen, try simply talking instead.

But always remember, no matter how important you think your message is, you can’t force people to listen.

Talking helps

On how sometimes the seemingly simple across of speaking up can transform your whole life.

Talking helps when you allow yourself to be open, honest and vulnerable with the right people.

This could be family, friends, your manager at work, your gp or perhaps a therapist.

We so often get caught in our own stuff that we build it up to be so much more than it really is but when you talk about it, often that other person can help you start to see things differently.

When you don’t say things and you keep everything inside it becomes much bigger, scarier and potentially life threatening.

I think the hardest part is taking the first step in saying this is happening in my life and I’m going to talk about it.