When you’re not in-flow

Having a daily writing practice means that writers block isn’t an excuse I can use.

There are days when writing feels a little more rigid and I suppose I feel ‘blocked’ but I don’t feed it because whether I feel in-flow or totally out of flow I still have to write and share something.

I think one of the easiest ways to loosen up and allow the words to flow is to write and it’s ironic because we’d usually do the opposite.

Perhaps the first 100 or even 500 words might be what you think of as rubbish but once you get past that you get to the good stuff. All of sudden you’re scoffing at that supposed ‘writers block’ knowing that you should have listened to Seth when he said:

Writer’s block isn’t hard to cure.

Just write poorly. Continue to write poorly, in public, until you can write better.

Seths Blog: Talkers Block

Same old, same old

What do you do when you find yourself experiencing the same situations over and over again.

No matter how much your life seems to change you find yourself going through the same old, same old.

Who’s to blame?

Why is it happening?

And most importantly, how do you break the cycle?

I’m going to have start researching more so I can make references but what I do know is that blaming yourself rarely helps.

You don’t need to blame anyone else either. Instead, just know that you can change things.

It happens because our brains get lazy, they love repeating patterns and loops even when they aren’t most beneficial. We handle situations however we know how and sometimes we don’t have the knowledge or tools to react in a way that will be helpful in the long run.

Before you know it, you’re finding yourself in the same situations and reacting similarly to how you first did. Nothing has changed aside from the fact that you’re now 6 years older.

Breaking the cycle starts with acknowledging your circumstances because like a popular song lyric states ‘you can’t fix what you can’t see’. When you find yourself in that familiar situation don’t go into autopilot and just do what you usually do because things will never change that way.

You have to be conscious and self aware enough that you can stop and ask yourself ‘What is the most helpful way for me to respond that will achieve my desired outcome?’

This will be a trial and error thing but the advice I can give is to remember that you have no control over anyone but yourself and when thinking of your desired outcome make it based on how you want to feel.

Taking the first step

We often know exactly what needs to be done but for various reasons find ways to try and get around doing it.

But eventually we find ourselves back where we started knowing that all we need to do is take the first step.

It might feel like the most terrifying the world. You might end up so anxious that the voice in your head is telling you ‘don’t do it, stick with what you know’.

All you can really do is ignore that voice because as soon as you take that first step you realise there was no truth to the thoughts of your anxious mind.

There’s that Chinese proverb that goes something like, ‘the longest journey starts with a single step’

And where better to start than step one.

A pep in your step and a smile on your face

That was me after bumping into a good friend on the way to work. A morning catch up talking about the work we do, how we spend our free time and the need for stimulation.

Things have changed in the 7 years this person and I have been friends. We’ve grown and so have our conversations. We’re not as silly as we were at 17 but even in our 20s we’re still growing up.

And I feel lucky that we get to do it together.

All you need

And maybe all you need to do is take a deep breath and let go. You have the opportunity to take control of the way you want to feel even though you may not realise it.

It’s often only when you decide that you want something more or something different that you become aware of what is available to you.

Suddenly you find that ‘all of us are here, awaiting you’ and the love, support or kindness is almost overwhelming.

And I’m sharing these words as someone who has experienced them.

The importance of a helping hand

With age I’ve come to understand the importance of a helping hand. I think it was the words ‘everybody needs a hand to hold, to pick you up when you fall’ from the song If you lean on me by California Dreams.

The song was about being there to support the person you care about. To some it may have just been cheesy 90s pop (California Dreams was a fictional band from a tv show) but to me it really meant something.

It’s important to vocalise to people that you’re there if they need you. Lending a helping hand can be as small as holding the door for someone carrying a box, giving someone back something they’ve dropped or checking in with someone because you care not just because they’re going through something.

It’s really just about extending kindness to me and having that awareness that we all have things going on in our lives.

Music and feelings

Whilst listening to the songs, I also read the comments.

This music was making people feel something and bringing them joy. It’s nice to think about how this singer is capable of doing that to people he’s never met, the majority of which he will never meet.

I even found myself smiling, feeling inspired even. I felt like writing. I sat listening to the words and feeling the music. One song in particular that stood out to me had the words ‘We’re just two ghosts standing in the place of you and me’.

The music evoked a sense of longing and nostalgia.