Quitting

If you feel discouraged with where you’re at you have two options.

The first is to quit and the second is to stick at it.

Whichever option you choose commit to it wholeheartedly.

If you think about it, there really isn’t much point going after your dreams (or the thing that you’re telling everyone is your dream) if you can’t even be bothered to give it your all.

People don’t often talk about quitting or deciding that they don’t want to proceed with the thing they have been working on.

I used to think that quitting was a bad thing, that it meant you were giving up, that you didn’t try hard enough and so on.

But with age and I suppose also experience I’ve come to realise that there are times when quitting is necessary.

Not everything that you try is going to work out, not everything you do will be a success.

And so you have to know when to quit because sometimes in quitting and closing the door to one thing you allow yourself to open up to something else.

An act of spontaneity (don’t overthink it)

Around 8 months ago I went to see one of my favourite singers in a city a couple hours north from where I live.

I booked my ticket 6 months in advance because I didn’t want to miss out and knew the opportunity may not come around for a while.

But I also didn’t have anyone to go with which was caused some initial hesitation.

In the end, I went alone had a great time and bought a t-shirt from the merch stand.

Looking back it really was an act of spontaneity (albeit a pretty small-scale act one all the same).

I’m glad I didn’t get stuck overthinking, I’m glad I didn’t miss out and I’m glad I went alone.

There’s often a lot of judgement (both internally and externally) when it comes to doing things alone but when the alternative is missing out, ask yourself ‘Are those voices worth listening to?’.

A womans liberation

This isn’t about a movement for equality, it’s something personal.

Liberation is a beautiful thing.

I recently realised that I’m experiencing a period of liberation in my life and it feels amazing.

The best part is I liberated myself. It wasn’t from any single action but instead a collection of things like daily gratitude, monthly morning manifestos, having open conversations about how I feel and allowing myself to be vulnerable.

The liberation has only just begun but so far it has shown up as me just being myself. In the past, I’ve had a lot of situations where the worry and fear overpowered my ability to do the things I wanted to do and so I would hold back.

The art of being yourself should be like free flowing water, it doesn’t require worry, going back and forth until you’re mentally exhausted and leaving situations wishing that you’d allowed yourself to be seen.

I feel as though I am entering a new stage in my life which is quite fitting as 2019 is coming to a close and the new decade is on the horizon.

I’m sharing this major growth point in my life with you because it is exactly what this blog is about. You have the opportunity to overcome the challenges you face and explore the joy of life.

 

 

 

How cogs perform

The end of the year is the time when performance reviews happen.

I had mine recently and it ended with me having a pretty major mind shift.

The conversation about my performance wasn’t bad in fact it was just good enough but that was the problem. I guess I could say I’ve had a cog-ish kind of year (as in a cycle of just showing up, doing what I’m told and then going home).

But instead of getting caught in a cycle of frustration towards myself I thought I’d use the situation as a growth point.

I have the opportunity to be better next year. I have the chance to change how I show up at work and be generous, kind, helpful, to speak up, share ideas, be vulnerable, work hard, pick myself instead of waiting to be picked and to be a linchpin.

Funnily enough that opportunity has always been available, I just have to commit to it.

Scary but worth it

Don’t apply this to horror movies.

It can be difficult to get past the thing that scares you. The longer you put it off the more your reasons not to do it grow.

You come up with excuses like:

I won’t be good at it.

People will laugh.

Someone else would be better suited.

I’ll do it next time.

I didn’t have enough time.

And sometimes those excuses are totally valid but sometimes they’re just easy ways for you to hide away and tell yourself that it’s not possible for you.

If you think you won’t be good at it that’s normal when you’re doing something new and ‘anything worth doing is worth doing poorly until you can learn to do it well’ so give yourself time.

If you think people will laugh, let them laugh. The only reason it doesn’t feel good is because you’re paying attention to it, so stop.

If you think someone else would be better, ask yourself why. It’s easy to believe that others are more talented or more capable than you are when the truth could be that you’re just more consumed by fear.

Don’t be so reliant on next time as that time might never come. Plus to quote a song from Cheetah Girls 2 ‘why wait, now is the right time’.

Lastly, not to make you wanna through up by being cliche but we all have 24 hours in a day. Granted you might have kids, a full-time job, be in education and also be a carer to a family member so things might seem impossible but life is as life does.

You have to make the best of your circumstances and find a way to make them work for you.

If not let the dream go.

And so there’s no denying that overcoming your fears can be scary but it’s also worth it.

If that’s not a reason to try, I don’t know what is.

 

The art of the gift

Currently reading linchpin by Seth Godin and learning a whole lot.

I’ve been thinking a lot about the art of gift giving lately. Not in terms of a birthday or Christmas gifts but in daily life.

The small or grand acts of generosity like saying good morning with a genuine smile or offering to help someone without expecting anything in return.

Those acts of generosity brighten people’s day, make them feel seen and are often easy to do.

I’m certain that you would have been on the receiving end of an act of generosity at some point in your life or maybe you’re the giver.

Despite these acts often being easy to do, how many times have you missed or overlooked the opportunity to give.

Sometimes we get so caught up in our own worlds and our stuff that we can’t even see the opportunity we have to make an offering in the world.

But when you do stop and choose to give not out of obligation or expectation but just because, that right there is the art of the gift.

To envy and to aspire

People often complain about their life circumstances and how if only they weren’t working class, their parents were born in the western world, they grew up in a better area etc.

In some ways they envy the opportunities that more ‘privileged’ people have had in life. They may think it’s not fair that others have had the upper hand from the moment they were born where as they’ve had to ‘try and try , try and try’ (from the song You can get it if you really want by Jimmy Cliff).

But the thing is as much as they may think and feel this way, it’s also what they aspire to. To raise families more well off than they were. To have the money to live somewhere bigger and safer. To be a able to give the people around them opportunities because they’re well connected.

Essentially they aspire to become the people that are ahead of the majority, more privileged and people with the upper hand.

It’s hard to make comparisons about who has it harder but that’s not something worth competing over. I think we can all agree we’d like to have things better than they were or currently are.

And who knows down the line your family could be the privileged ones with countless opportunities compared to others.

But from someone else’s perspective, you might be considered pretty privileged right now.