Everything could be different

So often, we get deeply and strongly attached. We hope that things will remain as they are.

We fear that change might bring in what we don’t want and clear out what we do want.

But, I like to believe that as wonderful and perfect as things might be right now, everything could be different and still be wonderful and perfect.

That serves as a reminder that it’s okay for things to change.

There is no need to hold great attachment to the way things are, in doing so we don’t allow space for the new.

New might not be ‘better’ but it will be different. It’s the opportunity to experience something you’ve never experienced, it’s a chance to learn and grow.

A fresh start is a mindset not an action

When you think of a fresh start, what comes to mind?

A new city, a new stage in education, a new country, a new relationship, a new job, a promotion or a new home.

As much as those things are the beginning of new chapters in our lives, they don’t necessarily mark a fresh start. I think what matters so much more is the mindset. Sometimes people find that they move to a new city and get a new job but everything they wanted to escape from stays with them. They find themselves in a new city with the same old problems.

It’s possible to change your mindset, stay in the exact same place and still get the effects of a fresh start. Things like moving to a new city, changing your hair or getting a new job all serves as visual signifiers for ourselves and also to the outside world that something has changed.

The way things were

Sometimes it helps to take a few steps back and return to the way things were. We often perceive this to be a negative thing as though we have regressed. However, it might actually be the case that the way you used to do things was much better.

So often we search for better or new because we don’t know what’s out there. And so we turn away from what we know and venture out to see what else is on offer. Sometimes we find other great options or ways of doing things but other times we end longing for what once was.

It’s normal to want to explore and try new things but perhaps you’ll ending up finding that the way things were is exactly how you want them to be.

The excitement of new beginnings

Who doesn’t love the feeling of a fresh start?

Starting something new can bring up feelings of excitement but also a nervousness. This is normal when doing something you haven’t done before. However, the nerves can turn into anxiety if you focus on them too much and allow yourself to get carried away.

And so instead focus on the exciting possibilities of all the things that you hope will become your reality.

It’s okay when it ends

You don’t have to resist or try to make it work, I promise you, it is okay.

Life is full of endings and new beginnings. But sometimes when things are getting to the end and we don’t know what is around the corner, we get nervous and become resistant.

We try to put the pieces back together instead of just clearing them to make way for the new.

It’s okay when it ends, not everything was meant to last forever.

Willing to let things go

It is so important to be willing to let things go.

Often in order to make room for the new we have to rid our lives of all that does not serve us. But even when we know what we need to do, we end up hesitating and putting off what needs to be done.

And in doing so we delay the new. Then we wonder why our lives aren’t changing or why good things arent happening.

The reason we end up holding on instead of letting go is because we’re scared to be without. We’d rather the comfort of what we know (even if it doesn’t benefit us) than have nothing whilst we wait for change to come.

That mindset comes from a place of lack and I think the best way to overcome that is to force yourself to be uncomfortable. Let go of the things that you no longer need in your life. It may be difficult to trust that better things will follow but the least can you for yourself is to stop holding on to all the that you no longer need in your life.

Being a beginner

The idea of being a beginner may be enough to put you off starting something new especially if you use social media. These days everyone is an expert at something and if that something is the thing you want to try out you might end up feeling like there isn’t room for someone new.

However, the feeling may also be fear related, perhaps you’re afraid of showing up in a space as a beginner or someone with little experience when everyone else is more established and more experienced.

But it’s important to remember that you have to start from somewhere, everyone was once a beginner.

You don’t need to show up as an expert when you’re just starting out and you don’t need to worry about whether there is room for you, just show up as someone who is ready to learn.

You don’t need to change

Just because you try something new doesn’t mean you have to adopt it as a long term thing or even do it more than once.

This applies to so many things work, relationships, hobbies, habits, diet and fitness.

Trying new things is about being open to something you’ve not experienced before, it doesn’t require permanent change.

We so often advocate for change and for not sticking with the way things are. However, sometimes trying something new one time is enough to make you realise that you don’t actually need to change.

There’s nothing wrong with trying something and then deciding that it’s not for you. In the short run it might feel like a step back, in the long run you’re simply doing what feels best for you.

The old normal

Lockdown allowed us to fantasise about the possibilities of life.

The way that things were was no longer seen as the way that things had to be.

The longer we were inside the more we began to speak of the new normal. We were able to imagine changes on scales small and large. I think this gave a lot of people hope, that this pandemic would not be for nothing if once it was over there would be change for the better.

But, somewhere along the way, there was a shift. Instead of speaking of the new way of life we had once hoped for, we began to long over the old ways.

Suddenly, it was the old normal that we were dreaming of, not something new.

Difficult in the beginning

When doing something new, if you don’t do it well or you face challenges along the way, you might find yourself feeling frustrated.

Sometimes, that feeling you get will determine your willingness to do the thing again and effect how much effort you put in.

Finding it difficult in the beginning might even cause you to believe that you’ll never get it.

However, often the case is that you just need to do it a few more times until it becomes more familiar.

Then in time it’ll become easier.