The problem with looking back

I think it’s fair to say that most people are enticed by new things. A new habit, a new opportunity even a new person. As much as we can fear the new there are many instances when it actually excites us.

Yet, in many cases instead of going towards the new thing, we look back.

We look back with this cosy feeling of nostalgia for what once was or what it’s time to move on from and all of a sudden we begin to hesitate.

That’s when the fear and what ifs kicks in.

What if things don’t work out?

What if this new thing isn’t better than what I’ve left behind?

What if I have to start over again?

The what if questions we ask are rarely framed in a helpful way and only serve to amplify the fear.

The alternative to looking back is to focus on the possibilities that will come from embracing the new and learn to trust that you’ll be fine.

Starting over

So often we are afraid to start over.

Maybe starting over feels like a setback, it feels easier to just keep going, you haven’t seen it done before or maybe it just feels too risky.

Those are valid reasons to stay where you are. But if you don’t take a leap, you end up missing out.

The thing we often forget is that, if you try something new and it doesn’t work out, more often than not you can just go back to the way things are.

If that happens, at least you know you tried.

When to start

Do it now.

There are 100 cliches about the right time to begin

You’ve heard them, I’ve heard them and sometimes i even write them.

But the truth is now is really as good a time as any.

If you think something is worth putting off and doing later instead, ask yourself why.

Do you genuinely have more work to do behind the scenes. More planning, learning and preparing.

Or are you using it as an excuse to hide.

You don’t have to wait until you’re perfect to start putting stuff out out there, learn to see the beauty in your growth.

You say you’ll do it later but later may never come, so why not do it now?

Uncharted territory

It’s easy to stick with what you know especially when it works.

But sometimes it’s good to try something new, explore uncharted territory.

Not just because what you’re used to isn’t working but because there’s is so much out there.

Trying new things help broaden your perspective.

Plus, how can you talk about how great something is when it’s the only thing you’ve tried.

Granted what you already know might turn out to be the best option but it doesn’t mean that alternatives aren’t worth exploring.

Don’t be afraid to try something new.

A new version of you

It’s not always easy to show people that you’ve changed.

Especially when on the outside you look exactly the same. For example, how do you show someone that you’ve developed new neurological pathways?

For the most part when you change, you do it for you. Although on the other side of it you might feel like you have something to prove. Or maybe you’re proud of how far you’ve come and so you want to share it.

But in truth when you’ve really changed you won’t need to parade it around. It’ll be clear to see in the way you talk and the things you do.

And sure they’ll be people who refuse to see it because they liked you stagnant and they aren’t ready willing to see that you’ve evolved but that’s not your burden to carry.

Setting goals and losing steam

It’s now a full week after New Year’s Day.

How are you goals, resolutions or plans coming along?

You might find that after 7 days you’re still enthusiastic and motivated or you might have found that you’ve lost steam.

If you resonate with the latter then it might be useful to ask yourself why?

Why after such a short period of time are you no longer committed or dedicated to the things that you were overflowing with excitement about less than a dozen days ago.

This could be the perfect time to call yourself out and acknowledge that the new year was not enough to change you into a brand new version of you.

There’s nothing wrong with that, in fact I’d say that’s the case for most of us.

Forming new habits or committing to new projects isn’t easy when you’re used to doing things a different way. And so the challenge or the work is to find a way of implementing new habits that works for you.

Procrastination pleasure

There must be some explanation for why we do it.

When you don’t want to do something or you know it won’t be easy, putting it off feels good. There’s pleasure in indulging in the freedom of future deadlines, future work or future responsibilities.

But that doesn’t mean that you can avoid them forever. That pleasurable feeling of freedom and not doing what you “posed to do” can’t last. You see the thing is whether you do it now or later you still have to get it done.

Instead of indulging in procrastination pleasure followed by an intense stressful period, choose to indulge in productivity pleasure and give yourself as much time as you can in order to do things well.

Sure pressure creates diamonds but constantly putting yourself through stress when you don’t need to could result in insomnia, chest pain and diarrhoea.

You might be used to doing things one way but that’s no reason not to try something new.

Unfinished business

What happened to all those plans you made?

Starting is always exciting and finishing is always the aim. But somehow you let stuff get in the way of your plans.

You focused too much on the problems instead of how to make things happens.

You used your free time passively and felt like you needed more hours in the day.

You ran out of steam.

You listened to that person who said it wouldn’t work.

You lost faith in the plan.

You got stick and didn’t push through.

If your plans are often ending up unfinished you might want to figure out why. You might want to slow down and not get carried away with the joy of starting something new.

You might want to learn to stick things out until the end because some things are worth finishing.

If you want something different

We so often go through life wishing and hoping for things but not taking any action.

It could be wanting a new job because you aren’t happy in your current job but all you do is complain about it.

Wanting to meet new people but never going anywhere new.

Wanting to get fit but coming home after work and sitting in bed watching episodes of a show on Netflix back to back.

Wanting to eat better but only buying frozen food and microwave meals.

We have much more control over our lives than our minds will sometimes have us believe.

If you want something different, try something new.

Something new

When was the last time you did something for the first time?

Just kidding because that phrase makes me want to roll my eyes.

But in all seriousness it’s easy to fall into doing the things you’ve always done and putting off exploring life outside of that.

So maybe if you don’t feel totally fulfilled with where you’re at, make a plan and do something.

It could be trying a new restaurant, going on a date, visiting a new city, putting yourself forward for training at work or doing something nice for someone you know.

And like that other common phrase goes, ‘it’s the little things that make a big difference.