Dreams change

What you want doesnt have to stay the same.

Sometimes when we’ve been set on something for so long, even after we realise we something else we stick with the old plan. This is because it feels risky to change and we put so much pressure on ourselves to have things worked out.

The result is sticking with something we no longer want in order to be someone who ‘has their life sorted out’, instead of actually doing what we want to do. Maybe we decide that it’ll take too much work and that it’s not worth the effort.

But dreams change and new dreams are worth pursuing just as much as the old ones.

Old ways

It might seem that right now there is little that you can do but revert to your old ways. If you’ve learnt self observation then perhaps you’re used to your patterns of behaviour.

Perhaps you can clearly map out and identify your old ways. And if you can do that then you can also choose a different action. If you’d normally say yes, say no. If you’d normally offer patience maybe try being a little less considerate.

I think too often we fall into this rigid idea of self as though there is something wrong with consciously experimenting with who we are. For example, you could be someone who always listens to people vent despite the fact that it leaves you feeling drained because you think it makes you a good friend.

Instead you could try something different such as saying, ‘I know you’re going through this frustrating situation but I don’t have the space to listen to you vent at the moment.‘

And it always feels weird the first time simply because it’s new, not as an indication of it being the wrong thing to do.

Then, overtime you might find that you prefer your new way of doing things and you can put your old ways aside.

Room to stretch

I think in life it’s important to have room to stretch.

I believe that experimenting and exploring are such a key part of life that without them your life becomes limited. It can be in small ways such as trying a new hairstyle or big ways like moving to another country for 6 months.

Sometimes, after a person has been limited for so long when they finally get room to stretch, they take it too far. They end up doing things that are risky and potentially unsafe. It’s like going straight for a back bend when you should have started with a lunge.

On the flipside, when you’re used to having space you’re much more considerate about how you choose to explore and much less likely to overdo it.

Something old, something new

I think one of the biggest reasons people have for going back to the office is face to face communication.

There is this idea that instead of continuing to embrace and further develop what was created from having to work from home, we should regress back to the way things were.

But I think there’s something to be said about those that choose to embrace change and move forward.

Pre-pandemic wasn’t necessarily better it was just what we were used to. And right now as we move forward, we have the opportunity to consider what works well and embrace something new.

Making space for what you want

Sometimes in order to bring in something new, you need to make space for it. A life that is filled to the brim with ‘stuff’ is not a life that is open to the new.

It might seem like the change you want isn’t happening or that things aren’t working out for you. The reality is, you don’t have space for the things that you want.

You have to make space by clearing out the things you no longer need, even if you feel like still want them in your life. It could be physical clutter, friends you’ve outgrown, past times you don’t enjoy, a diet that is hindering your health or a job you’ve been talking about leaving for the past 2 years.

When you finally make space in your life you’ll start to notice how new things flow in with ease, you’ll also become a little more picky about what you choose to keep.

Keep exploring

There’s something quite wonderful about being a beginner, starting something new with fresh eyes, optimism, excitement and curiosity.

There are probably plenty of things that you’ve been doing for a long time to the point that they’re a regular part of your daily, weekly or monthly routine. It could be old hobbies from childhood or a job that you’re just so familiar with that the joy has been taken out of it.

It could even be what you want thought was your dream job but because you’re doing it all the time and you’re so used to it doesn’t really feel like a dream anymore. Now it’s actually just your reality.

Sometimes, we get the job that we want and maybe we’re even living in our ideal home in our ideal location. We feel settled in life so we stop exploring. This isn’t necessarily a bad thing but if you’re putting aside your curiosity and yearning then maybe something needs to change. The feeling of wanting to explore life probably won’t just go without you tending to it.

The reason we don’t tend to it is often because we allow societal standards and ideas to restrict us. We end up feeling like it’s too late to try something new because we’re a certain age or it feels like it’ll be a step back. It’s no use holding on to those ideas if they just make you unhappy.

The desire to explore could be as small as reading a genre of fiction you wouldn’t usually be open to or joining a local volunteering group. It doesn’t have to be about quitting your job to start a business. selling all your belongings and travelling around Asia for 6 months.

Everything could be different

So often, we get deeply and strongly attached. We hope that things will remain as they are.

We fear that change might bring in what we don’t want and clear out what we do want.

But, I like to believe that as wonderful and perfect as things might be right now, everything could be different and still be wonderful and perfect.

That serves as a reminder that it’s okay for things to change.

There is no need to hold great attachment to the way things are, in doing so we don’t allow space for the new.

New might not be ‘better’ but it will be different. It’s the opportunity to experience something you’ve never experienced, it’s a chance to learn and grow.

A fresh start is a mindset not an action

When you think of a fresh start, what comes to mind?

A new city, a new stage in education, a new country, a new relationship, a new job, a promotion or a new home.

As much as those things are the beginning of new chapters in our lives, they don’t necessarily mark a fresh start. I think what matters so much more is the mindset. Sometimes people find that they move to a new city and get a new job but everything they wanted to escape from stays with them. They find themselves in a new city with the same old problems.

It’s possible to change your mindset, stay in the exact same place and still get the effects of a fresh start. Things like moving to a new city, changing your hair or getting a new job all serves as visual signifiers for ourselves and also to the outside world that something has changed.

The way things were

Sometimes it helps to take a few steps back and return to the way things were. We often perceive this to be a negative thing as though we have regressed. However, it might actually be the case that the way you used to do things was much better.

So often we search for better or new because we don’t know what’s out there. And so we turn away from what we know and venture out to see what else is on offer. Sometimes we find other great options or ways of doing things but other times we end longing for what once was.

It’s normal to want to explore and try new things but perhaps you’ll ending up finding that the way things were is exactly how you want them to be.

The excitement of new beginnings

Who doesn’t love the feeling of a fresh start?

Starting something new can bring up feelings of excitement but also a nervousness. This is normal when doing something you haven’t done before. However, the nerves can turn into anxiety if you focus on them too much and allow yourself to get carried away.

And so instead focus on the exciting possibilities of all the things that you hope will become your reality.