The outsiders mentality

People that think they’re outsiders act like outsiders.

The idea of being an outsider is often a self-fulfilling prophecy, something that is brought into existence rather than being totally true in the first place.

When the thought comes into your mind, as soon as you hold onto it and allow it to become a part of how you identify yourself you’ll subconsciously work to make it true.

Being an outsider is associated with being fringe, being different but sometimes even unique or original.

It can have both positive and negative connotations.

As soon as you start to think you’re different and ‘not like them’. You’ll start to separate yourself, exclude yourself even. Often that is what makes a person become an outsider.

The reality is, groups of people come together that are very different all the time.

Finding your rhythm

Good things take time.

When you start something new you’re likely to be unpolished to begin with, you’re still learning afterall.

But that initial stage is what puts many people off. They get caught up in the idea that they’re not good enough. They play the comparison game, often looking at people with much more practice and experience.

The reality is that it takes time to find your rhythm. After a couple of weeks you can’t expect to be perfectly polished. That’s not even reasonable.

It’s so helpful and a much more enjoyable process, when you put the focus on doing the work instead of the end result.

Looking to the future

In challenging times it can be difficult to look to the future and think about all the possibilities. Your mind will be going round in circles and you’ll be asking yourself questions like:

How can I get there when there is all this stuff going on right now?

When you’re caught up in a challenging situation it can be hard to see past it, especially when you have no idea how you’ll overcome it.

But, if you start with believing you can figure things out and then try and work towards a solution, you might find that you’re more capable than you thought.

Singer, Mistress and Spy

We often have a habit of having a very shallow view of popular people. Not in the materialistic sense but instead that we forget to perceive the depth of a human being in these kinds of people.

We take them at face value, as 2D versions of their true selves forgetting to consider that they have whole other lives separate to what we know them for.

Gabrielle Chanel is one of the most iconic fashion designers in history. But before pursuing that career she had her sights set on being a performer (she was also a Mistress to many and a Nazi Spy). It’s an almost strange thought to comprehend.

If you simply look at Chanel for all she achieved in her life time and the luxury brand that still stands today you might end up forgetting that she actually had to work for it.

When you’ve spent a few years pursuing a side hustle that you hoped would becoming your main thing, it’s can be hard to let it go, even when you know it’s not working.

Chanel probably had no chance of becoming who she was if she’d kept on singing.

Don’t ever be afraid to move on to something new.

With an open mind

That thing that you’re not interested in, that you don’t think is for you, it might be one day.

It takes time for the mind to open up to things, especially when they’re different or new.

This could apply to the music you listen to, shows you watch or even the food that you eat.

One day you’re telling everyone that you don’t do comedy, you don’t find it funny and you much prefer a drama.

Then years later you’re sat at home watching the office (US), snorting with laughter thankful that you changed your mind about the kind of shows you watch.

The thing with your taste changing over time is that it’s part of your development. You don’t need to force yourself to be a certain way right now just because it’s something on the path you’re heading down.

Be patient, remain open and allow the changes to happen naturally.

Daydream and do

Do you ever spend time daydreaming about the life you want. The things you’ll do, places you’ll go, where you’ll live and how you’ll earn a living?

What do you do once the daydream is over?

It’s so easy to think that the life you daydream about is far from reach but in reality a good chunk of that distance will disappear once you start believing your dream life is possible.

That belief will come from realising that it’s possible to live the kind of life you want. You don’t have to settle as a result of the expectations of others or because the gap between where you are and where you want to be is too wide.

Once you start believing it’s possible you can move onto the next step, making it happen.

 

When to start

Do it now.

There are 100 cliches about the right time to begin

You’ve heard them, I’ve heard them and sometimes i even write them.

But the truth is now is really as good a time as any.

If you think something is worth putting off and doing later instead, ask yourself why.

Do you genuinely have more work to do behind the scenes. More planning, learning and preparing.

Or are you using it as an excuse to hide.

You don’t have to wait until you’re perfect to start putting stuff out out there, learn to see the beauty in your growth.

You say you’ll do it later but later may never come, so why not do it now?

Hoping for the best

This is the way of the optimist.

It’s also worth remembering that even if things don’t turn out in the way that you consider to be ‘the best’, it doesn’t mean all hope is lost.

That way no matter what life throws at you, you’ll be able to roll with it with a little less resistance or resentment.

However, all of this means nothing unless you put it into practice.

The next time thing don’t turn out as you planned pay attention to your thoughts. Is your inner monologue deflated, is it going 101mph complaining about how life is unfair and nothing goes your way or is their acceptance of your current situation and thoughts on how to move forward?

Engrossed in the work

When you think of work, what sort of works come to mind?

Is it fun, exciting, thought provoking, challenging and interesting…

or is it more along the lines of boring, difficult, repetitive and time consuming?

Work often comes with a negative connotation that has nothing to do with the actual work.

The truth is work can be interesting and difficult or thought provoking and time consuming. But that doesn’t mean we shouldn’t enjoy it.

Of course if you’re inner monologue is on a loop about how boring your work is you probably won’t have a good time doing it.

The work often gets better once you engross yourself in it instead of having ‘negative’ feelings toward it.

Tending to your needs

Now might be the perfect time.

If you find yourself stressed, anxious or overwhelmed, you might also feel a little helpless.

But the chances are you actually have a pretty good idea of what you can do to help yourself.

Rest, put your phone down, turn off your tv or computer, phone a friend, stretch…

However, despite knowing what to do and knowing what will help, we refuse to tend to our own needs.

People will often say things like I don’t have time to rest or I’m too busy to take a break.

But the truth is that mindset comes from not valuing taking care of your well being.

It might feel strange at first but it’s much better for you to regularly rest from life than to be forced to rest every time you work yourself into the ground.