Its okay to be you

A few words on self acceptance.

As you take the time to explore yourself you’re likely to discover all kinds of things: the good the bad and the ugly.

You might find that there are some things about yourself that have put you at a disadvantage and they’re not always easy to accept.

The things that make you different, the things that have to be explained in order for people to understand you, the things that make you uncomfortable and maybe it’s things you wish you could just bypass.

But these challenges, the things you find difficult are probably great learning opportunities or what I like to call growth points.

Of course that doesn’t make them any easier but what I’ve learnt is that the more you push back and resist the more challenging things become. Whereas, if you’re more open, willing to accept your circumstances and explain things to the right person (or people), the situation softens.

And once it softens it becomes more malleable and in turn more manageable until eventually you overcome it or learn to handle it better.

Is it helping?

A question worth asking when you’re trying to overcome feeling discontent or stuck.

So let’s say you’re feeling unsatisfied with where you’re at. What are you doing about it?

What are you doing to get past where you’re at and more importantly is what you’re doing helping?

For example if you’re feeling uninspired to create, what are you doing?

Scrolling social media, taking a walk, watching Netflix or youtube, trying to create in spite of the ‘block’, avoiding creating until the feeling passes etc.

Whatever it may be ask yourself ‘is this helping?’

Social media could inspire you or overwhelm you because you already don’t feel great and now you’re filling your mind with other people’s stuff.

But maybe that walk refreshes you or creating when you don’t feel like it allows you to get past the not so good stuff and onto the stuff that’s great.

However, if it’s not helping do something else.

Boy dreamer

When our dreams are greater than our present circumstances it can be easy to feel like it’s us against life as though we’re pushing back.

You might think you’re the only one with big dreams as everyone else just seems to get on with things without dragging their heels.

But if you take the time to speak to the people around you, you might find that they have dreams too. Talking to the right people will always be helpful and realising you’re not alone is a bonus.

Finding out that someone else in a similar position to you has dreams too is something you might not have even considered. That’s just one of many reasons to not make assumptions.

Generous projection

When we give to others generously and it isn’t received in the way we expected or would have preferred the first instinct might be to find fault in the receiver.

But often what is actually happening is we’re projecting. In many cases we give to others what we wish we had or could receive rather than assessing this persons needs as an individual.

Perhaps it’s in the form of constantly checking in or offering advice because you wished someone had checked in with you and gave you guidance.

But then the receiver might reject all the advice you give and not open up when you check in which could leave you frustrated.

You’ll find yourself wondering why this person isn’t grateful for your generosity, after all you didn’t have anyone do this for you.

It’s at that point that you might want to reflect on why this person might be responding the way they do.

If you really want to help someone ask them what they need rather than just putting yourself in there position.

There’s a thing in NLP about how we do things based on our own experience but when you offer to help someone else, it shouldn’t be about you.