Feel the fear…

…and do it anyway.

The feeling of fear often comes up in a situation that is new or when there is a level of uncertainty.

We forget that it’s human nature to have that feeling of anticipation and I think what we end up doing is confusing it for ‘danger’.

The kind of danger where fight or flight is necessary is much rarer than our minds will have us believe.

In your day to day life when was the last time you encountered something dangerous?

Taking the first step

We often know exactly what needs to be done but for various reasons find ways to try and get around doing it.

But eventually we find ourselves back where we started knowing that all we need to do is take the first step.

It might feel like the most terrifying the world. You might end up so anxious that the voice in your head is telling you ‘don’t do it, stick with what you know’.

All you can really do is ignore that voice because as soon as you take that first step you realise there was no truth to the thoughts of your anxious mind.

There’s that Chinese proverb that goes something like, ‘the longest journey starts with a single step’

And where better to start than step one.

Giving up

Sometimes when things look difficult the first thing you want to do is give up.

After all there’s no way you can do it. You’re not smart enough, you’ll fail or someone else can do it better than you.

But sometimes it’s more than that. Maybe the truth is that this difficult thing will force you to challenge yourself and you won’t have the option to hide away.

You’ll have to accept that there’s nothing wrong with not being good at something, with having to ask for help or with not being confident with something that is new.

There is vulnerability in taking on new challenges and knowing that they will force you to grow.

It might be scary but it could be a good thing.

The fear of being seen

Being quiet stops people from noticing you as much, except they always notice that you’re quiet.

In certain environments this is seen as a bad thing sometimes because it bothers people.

Perhaps I simply fear being seen yet I’m happy to show up with my words online or my appearance in person through ‘interesting’ outfits.

After all its not me, it’s my words or it’s not me,it’s my dress.

I’m feel like being quiet is something you’re meant to grow out of so maybe I’m just stubborn.

But I’m working on it.

Fear of the new

Just stick with what you know and don’t explore anything new.

That is the voice of my anxious self which sometimes dominates as my inner monologue.

I’ve learnt to not listen to that terrible advice anymore because when I did, I was miserable. It’s quite fascinating when the thing that you feel you need to do in order to feel ‘safe’ also causes you a lot of problems.

I remember thinking how strange it was that despite doing everything ‘right’ things weren’t going so well.

Then I discovered the thought/idea that I could change myself internally which would ripple outwards and cause my life to change. I remember thinking that it must have been a sort of magic that that was possible and sometimes I still refer to it in that way for fun but also because I don’t actually have a strong knowledge of how the mind or neurology (along with all the other ologies) work so it may as well be magic.

Fear of the new is something that still effects the way I live but it’s different now. I don’t give the voice of my anxieties centre stage as often and I practise little methods that work for me.

It’s like feel the fear and do it anyway for people that fear the little things.

Overcoming fear of the unknown

It’s not uncommon for there to be a sense of nervousness or fear surrounding something you haven’t done before.

But then you do it again and it’s less scary, you’re able to connect to small points of familiarity that bring comfort.

And by the third time there is a sense of excitement, the thing you once feared has now become something to look forward to.

That is a simple summary for how I go about approaching things that I have anxiety attached to. It might take 3 months instead of just 3 tries but the important part is knowing that there will be a transition.

That thing that scares you doesn’t have to scare you forever.

 

What’s the takeaway?

Sometimes I worry that I’m not very good at this, that even though I’m posting every single day, something is still missing.

I’ve told a few people in my life about this site but because it’s so rough and unpolished I don’t really want to shout about The Daily Gemm from the rooftops. But maybe that’s what I should be doing, maybe not shouting but at least telling more people.

Perhaps what is missing from this site is more of me. I want to put more effort into what I’m sharing and so that at least one person can take something from each piece I write.

And maybe that person will pass it on.