On how sometimes the seemingly simple across of speaking up can transform your whole life.
Talking helps when you allow yourself to be open, honest and vulnerable with the right people.
This could be family, friends, your manager at work, your gp or perhaps a therapist.
We so often get caught in our own stuff that we build it up to be so much more than it really is but when you talk about it, often that other person can help you start to see things differently.
When you don’t say things and you keep everything inside it becomes much bigger, scarier and potentially life threatening.
I think the hardest part is taking the first step in saying this is happening in my life and I’m going to talk about it.
My childhood perception of my twenties was that I’d be married or at least engaged, living in my own home and possibly have a kid on the way. But once I got to my twenties I realised that I used those things to escape from actually thinking about what I wanted to do with my life.
I don’t feel like an actual proper adult and I’m not sure I ever will but I also have no idea what that’s meant to feel like. However, I have had lots of experiences that have taught me useful things and allowed me to develop and grow.
Even though those things were challenging, they’re a big reason of why I can so confidently show up here on this site and write about overcoming things, offering tips or advice and writing about the dream-life.
My life isn’t what kid me thought it would be but I can count on 2 hands some of the things I’m grateful for. In not having the life I thought I would in my early twenties it’s forced me to confront the very things I was running from.
And because of that my life is much more interesting (or at least that’s the story I tell myself).
Sometimes we get the courage to do things that we’re afraid to do.
But when they don’t turn out as planned we often come down hard on ourselves forgetting the courage that it took to try.
And then we feel as though we shouldn’t have bothered.
But what we have to remember is that we have no control over how a situation will turn out. We just have to have the courage to give it a go because as cheesy as it sounds you never know unless you actually try.
If things go as planned great but if they don’t it’s not a total loss. Ask yourself ‘What did this outcome teach me, what have I learned?’
How one small act can change it all
One of my oldest beliefs is that pivotal moments exist. We don’t always recognise them in the moment but on reflection we can see that the small thing that we said or did changed the trajectory or has greatly impacted who we are today.
I experienced a pivotal moment over a year ago. I committed to an act of bravery in spite of fear and panic. Unlike before even, prior to taking any action I knew that I was on course to quite literally transform my life, I could just feel it.
It was that feeling that enabled me to go forth despite the survival mode bit of my brain presenting a strong case against doing what I wanted to do.
Sometimes the problem is not that their is no one like us but that we’re not aware.
Many of us will go around thinking ‘there is no one like me’ whilst hiding ourselves away from the world. If that’s what we’re all doing, how are we supposed to find each other.
With age you’ll find that there are others in your city, country, continent and across the earth that are like you in whatever way you feel you are different.
But you’ll never find them if you aren’t willing to show that part of yourself.
You might be scared but it’ll always be worth it in the long run.
…say something better tomorrow.
Not everything you say will be good, perfect or profound. But that doesn’t mean you should say nothing.
So often we bite our tongue because we don’t don’t think that what we have to say is enough of whatever we think it needs to be. Next time you’re about to keep quiet, I dare you to say something.
Your voice is important.
How will you ever get better if you’re too afraid to use it?
…and do it anyway.
The feeling of fear often comes up in a situation that is new or when there is a level of uncertainty.
We forget that it’s human nature to have that feeling of anticipation and I think what we end up doing is confusing it for ‘danger’.
The kind of danger where fight or flight is necessary is much rarer than our minds will have us believe.
In your day to day life when was the last time you encountered something dangerous?