Little wins

As much as it’s great to archeive something big, some days it just doesn’t happen.

Some days are slower, you feel a little lost or perhaps you’re not sure where to begin.

At the end of it you might feel like your day has been wasted or that you should have done more.

You might feel this way because you know you could have easily done so much more if only you put in the effort. On the other hand you might feel like you’ve failed your own expectations even though you tried your hardest.

However you feel, there’s no point beating yourself up about it. Some days are meant for the little wins such as: finishing a chapter of the book you’re reading, tidying your living space and a long phone phone call with a close friend.

Two types of perfectionists

When you think of a perfectionist, what comes to mind?

Almost every time it’s the type A personality who is incredibly organised and competitive. The sort of person who is particular and also explicit about wanting to get things right.

But there is a different kind of perfectionist too.

The second is the sort of person that procrastinates and fears their best will never be good enough.

Beneath the surface they seek perfectionism too. They have such high expectations that they won’t even try if they think they can’t meet them. This sort of person feels disappointed if they produce something that isn’t ‘perfect’.

The difference between these 2 people is that the first is willing to try.

The build up

It’s easy to talk about things that are easy.

But when it comes to comes to feelings, wants and needs, things often get a little more challenging.

Often problems will arise, simply because you didn’t speak up and let the other person know how you felt or what you needed. When you hold things in, they rarely go away, they just build up over time.

So, maybe 6 months later when you feel angry and frustrated towards someone you won’t even consider that maybe things could have turned out differently, if only you had said ‘I want you to make more of an effort’ instead of keeping quiet.

Granted people won’t always meet your needs, even if you desperately want them too.

But you’re better off speaking up and giving the other person a chance, than just holding things in and ending up disappointed that people can’t read your mind.

Back to the drawing board

The plans you made a year ago, 6 months ago or even a few weeks ago may now be obsolete. You can time planning far in advance but when it comes to putting those plans into action, you never really know how things will go until you see the results.

Sometimes the results are as expected or better and other times the results are a learning curve, a growth point an opportunity to go back to the drawing board.

It can be disappointing when things don’t turn out as well as you’d hoped, you might feel like the time and effort you put in was wasted. In times like this it’s so important to not to dwell on what went wrong but instead to think about how you can move forward.

How can you improve?

How can you do things better?

What can you do differently?

Of course, going back to the drawing board is never part of the plan but if you use it as an opportunity to grow, experiment and explore, suddenly it might not seem so bad.

Daydream and do

Do you ever spend time daydreaming about the life you want. The things you’ll do, places you’ll go, where you’ll live and how you’ll earn a living?

What do you do once the daydream is over?

It’s so easy to think that the life you daydream about is far from reach but in reality a good chunk of that distance will disappear once you start believing your dream life is possible.

That belief will come from realising that it’s possible to live the kind of life you want. You don’t have to settle as a result of the expectations of others or because the gap between where you are and where you want to be is too wide.

Once you start believing it’s possible you can move onto the next step, making it happen.

 

Finding comfort in moments of pessimism

I have this idea that sometimes there is comfort in moments of pessimism, in thinking about and accepting the possibility of the worst case scenario coming to life.

It’s not so that you can dwell but instead so that you can understand  life sometimes turns out differently to how you expected.

You just have to learn to be okay with it which might be a hard pill to swallow.

Of course there is always a place for optimism but sometimes it isn’t helpful. Sometimes what you need is to accept that a situation isn’t going to turn out well.

And once you do that, things get a little bit easier.

Pushing the boundary

Many people have an unspoken set of boundaries for what they do and don’t do or a set of rules that govern the choices they make.

And sometimes the boundaries that you give yourself become limitations.

Suddenly you find that you’re not doing the things that you want to do because your boundaries go against it.

However the thing about boundaries, though they have there benefits they can also be a hindrance.

The more you try to force yourself to adhere to them the harder you judge yourself when you stray.

But, it’s perfectly okay to move away from the person that you thought you’d be.