Making a change vs Doing nothing

When making a difficult decision a good place to start is weighing up the pros and cons.

Take some time and really think about it.

Let’s say for example you were deciding whether or not move to a new city. The pros might be things like getting a fresh start, more opportunities and challenging yourself. The cons could be a lack of familiarity, time lost having to start over and leaving family/friends behind.

You could also ask yourself questions like:

Will the short-term advantage benefit me in the long-run?

I think if you regularly find yourself caught between making a change and doing nothing, you might just be afraid of trying something new or making a mistake.

In those cases it might actually be better to throw yourself into doing the the thing you’re unsure of because at least you’re giving yourself the opportunity to grow, develop and explore.

Will we still have meetings post-pandemic?

A while from now we’ll be living in a post pandemic world. Companies and businesses will have to make decisions about the way they will choose to work moving forward.

Presentations, discussions, conversations and updates are all being done remotely when normally they’d have required meetings.

Those meetings may have involved: a journey to another city by car or train, a large group when only a small few were needed or time wasted because it could have easily been a 10 minute conversation over the phone.

But when the world goes back to the office, back to the normal 9 to 5 lifestyle, I have no doubt that there will still be unnecessary meetings.

And so a question worth pondering on is, ‘Why do we meet when we know we don’t need to?’

Almost bored

Ever have those days where you’re just pottering around the house not quite sure what to do.

There are at least 17 things you could be doing but instead of getting things done you just sort of flitter from one thing to another, aimlessly.

It’s kind of like a sort of boredom, almost bored but not quite.

I find that those days usually turn out to be wasted. I’ve learnt that, it’s best to either give in and allow yourself to be totally bored or make good use of your time and do what needs to be done.

Being indecisive, caught between do nothing and something is a real waste of time.

 

 

Changing the rules

In day to day life you might be surprised at how many rules you follow. Things that you are or aren’t supposed to do or say?

Some of them are necessary and help us function well as a society whilst others just restrict us. Some are inflicted by others but some we force upon ourselves.

You make up unhelpful rules that get you off the hook because you cant, you’re not allowed, people don’t do that.

But maybe if something isn’t working out you could take control.

Make the decision to change rules and do something differently.

Small-scale spontaneity

So often we run from spontaneity because it doesn’t allow us to have as much control as we’d like.

We tell ourselves that it’s the wrong decision or that we need to give it more thought or maybe just say no instead of yes.

But the beauty of spontaneity is that it opens us up to other options that we could never even imagine. And so when you say no instead of yes out of trying to be in control you miss out and you don’t even realise it.

I recently did something spontaneous, it wasn’t grand in fact it was very small-scale. But it taught me that there are more benefits saying yes and being spontaneous then I had realised

Embracing a care-less mentality

Mid-week musings on not embracing anxiety.

If you find yourself caught in the analysis paralysis of indecision it might be worth making a conscious effort to care-less.

Instead of allowing the thoughts to go on and on until breaking point, give yourself a deadline.

3 minutes, 3 hours or 3 days before you have to take action. Do it for at least a week and keep a dairy of the decisions you made and the outcome.

The ideal outcome would be that you find that whether you care or care-less things will still be alright which is a pretty good reason to stop being so afraid of making decisions.

You’ll have physical evidence that what you decide isn’t always the most important thing it’s how you feel and your attitude towards what you’ve decided.

And if you find you’ve picked something that didn’t result in the desired outcome , then it’ll be the perfect time to practice your bouncebackability.

At the end of trying out a different approach to decision making the beauty of it is, is that if it was just totally dreadful you can always go back to your old approach.

If that’s the the case at least you tried which is often more important than the actual result.

Pick something

Anything!

We’re constantly making decisions each day. Some are small scale like toast or cereal for breakfast, whilst others can have more of an impact.

It’s easy to go back and forth when you have multiple options and are intent on picking the ‘right one’.

But it’s often the act of picking that’s more important than what you actually pick.

If you struggle to make decisions, you don’t need to get better at being right, you need to work on being more decisive.

Worth seeking advice from

Just because someone is older than you doesn’t mean they’re the best person to seek advice from.

I think there’s a level of vulnerability that comes with asking for advice, to be open and honest enough to say ‘Hey, so I’m going through xyz and I just wanted to get some advice from you asĀ I’m not really sure how to move forward.’

Something I’ve learnt is that when I have a difficult decision to make it helps to view the situation from a different perspective and sometimes that happens quickest when you talk to someone.

However, it’s important to make sure that you’re talking to the right person.

For me that would be:

Someone I trust.

Someone I look up to.

Someone I admire.

Someone who has my best interests at heart.

Someone who will give impartial advice.

Someone with experience.

When you feel stuck and want some advice you probably want it from someone who can help steer you in the right direction rather than someone who leaves you feeling stressed or further fuels your indecision.

Whilst recently asking for advice I realised that often the main thing I want is someone who can shift my perspective.

Perhaps to not even advise on my specific situation but to remind me that I’m capable of making the ‘right’ decision.

Everything must go!

There’s a lesson in almost everything.

How much stuff are you holding onto that doesn’t feel good.

Think about who or what you’re following on social media, what are you subscribed to, the contents of your closet or home space.

How does it make you feel?

If it doesn’t feel good, why not?

Furthermore, why are you still holding onto it?

A think a bi-annual (if not seasonal) life cull is a useful way to ensure that you’re only letting the good stuff stay. It’s important to be strict when you cull or else you end up keeping things for no real reason, you have to be honest with yourself about what you actually want or need in your life.

Do you need those slingbacks from 6 years ago that you’ve only worn once?

Do you need to keep following that stranger who is friends with that super hardworking, inspiring and stylish woman (who is also a stranger)?

Or how about that book you know you’ll never read or those old bedsheets that are just taking up space?

If it’s not something you use, know you will use or doesn’t serve any purpose in your life aside from being clutter then there’s not much use holding onto it.

When you’re going on a journey, you can’t take everything with you.

Godin, sunk costs and making the right decision

In the process of making a difficult decision I turned to the words of Seth Godin for guidance. I found a few useful posts on sunk costs and it made me realise one of the things I needed to stop considering.

The past.

When making plans for the future if you do it based on past experiences that didn’t go to plan it taints your mind.

Decisions based on the past are too often made from a place of fear or include factors that have no bearing on the future unless you let them.

I think it’s useful to start by wiping your slate clean. Start with where you’re at right now and weigh up the pros and cons of both choices. And consider what you want and what your personal plans are not just what looks good on the outside.