…you probably already know the answer.
Sometimes when you ask questions, you’re not looking for an answer, you’re looking for confirmation on what you’ve already decided or you want someone to tell you what you want to hear. This is why you end up frustrated with how the person responds, you didn’t get the answer that you wanted.
For the person on the other end they’re simply being honest. As much as you may favour a particular response, there’s not much point in asking a question if you’ll only be satisfied when things go your way.
You have to learn to ask the question and accept that things could go either way. You can begin implementing this by learning to give people the space to be open without judgement and then placing honesty above things going your way.
Sometimes being neutral to a situation feels like the better option. You don’t want to come off too eager or enthusiastic, even if you are.
And so you respond with things like ‘Yeah, maybe’, instead of just saying yes. That’s fine for some circumstances but it can also hinder you because being neutral can also be perceived as a lack of interest.
It’s important to remember that there’s a big difference between being eager or enthusiastic and simply showing that you’re interested.
We now have access to more information than we’ll ever use and can ever truly comprehend.
You might have grown up where the only way to learn about something was if you went to the library, watched a documentary on TV or even asked someone you know.
If you want to learn about something nowadays, the answer is a few seconds away. Any random thought or curiosity that comes to mind doesn’t have to pass you by.
You can google it.
And because we have that access, it might make us less likely to read books, watch documentaries and ask questions. Those are things I’d consider to still be worth doing.
When we’re seeking answers or information on a topic, we can find it out on our own pretty quickly.
It’s also something we take for granted.
Over the past year or so there has been a lot of conversation around wealth, that those with more should have less.
This isn’t applying to the people earning £200k or even a multi-millionaire but instead to those in the top percentile, those that have amassed more wealth than they could ever imagine.
People say it’s wrong to have billionaires because no person can ever spend that amount of money, people are starving or suffering and they’ve had to exploit other people to gain their wealth.
And so if it is wrong to have billionaires how do you police it and what is the limit?
Do you raise taxes for the wealthy to the point where billionaire status would be impossible?
Do you somehow limit a persons earnings to £999,999,999 or would you make it cap it at much less?
More importantly who would be in charge of it?
Whether having billionaires is or isn’t wrong, I don’t have an answer (and maybe there isn’t one). However, I do think it is a topic worth discussing.
What does freedom feel like to you?
More specifically what sort of life does it consist of?
Perhaps it’s less work and more time for creative pursuits. Maybe spending time less time with people that judge and criticise you. It could be feeling like you have options and not feeling obligated to do certain things. It could be more of that feeling you get when you’re around the people you love.
The feeling of freedom is easy to create in some areas of your life for example simply stop spending time with people you don’t feel good around. But on the flipside it might be slightly more challenging.
If those questions aren’t easy to answer, it’s something worth giving them some thought.
Once you have an answer, think about how much it aligns with your current life.
If gap between them is wide, what can you do to change that?
It’s out there, you just have to know where to look.
If you ever have a curiosity, want to learn more or are looking for answers the information is out there.
It’s east to forget that the same thing you use to scroll twitter, watch YouTube videos, double tap on Instagram and swipe on dating apps can be the very same thing to educate you.
In so many cases you don’t even need to ask questions because the answer is only a few clicks away.
Take advantage of that and seek out knowledge on the things that matter to you, simply because you can.
I don’t know was one of my most used phrases during my school days.
It was an easy 3 words to use in situations where I didn’t want to participate, like class.
I’d sit daydreaming, ruminating or just quietly paying attention. Then all of a sudden a teacher would call on me for the answer to a question.
Perhaps I hadn’t heard it or maybe I didn’t want to think or join in because after all my hand wasn’t even up.
So, I’d almost immediately respond with I don’t know even if after some thought I might have had an answer to contribute.
I never wanted to offeranything because on the occasions that I did, my hand would be up.
And so when I used to say I don’t know it just meant that I didn’t want to offer, join in or engage.
This phase of my life was around 10 years ago at a time where I found it incredibly difficult to use my voice.
These days I’m more commonly heard saying I’m not sure and I’m much more willing to contribute something and be wrong instead of saying nothing at all.
If you find yourself using I don’t know as a regular response ask yourself why because you might find that it could actually be replaced with the phrases ‘I don’t want to think’.
And if you don’t want to think then you might be a lazy person or you might be scared of being wrong.
Either way there’s something to work.
When you’re so focused and set on finding a solution to a problem it probably won’t come to you.
The answer will go over your head because you’re putting too much pressure on it. Imagine you have a container of water, if you put too much pressure on the water it’ll go up (as in over your head).
It usually works much better to remain calm, give yourself time and know that the answer will come.
And when you put too much pressure on the solution and try to figure it out before you’re ready you end up doing the ‘wrong thing’.
Whereas if you give yourself time the solution will just come to you in a moment of spontaneity when you least expect it.
You’ll be doing something like brushing your teeth, buttoning your shirt or eating lunch.
Then all of a sudden ta-da, there it is.