It is really easy to give advice in hindsight or just from an outsiders perspective. However, when you are in the midst of a personal challenge it can be difficult to know how to help yourself in the moment. It’s something that takes time and practice.
I’ve had plenty of times when I’ve felt stuck. Sometimes sitting around, wallowing and doing the bare minimum feels like the only thing that you can muster the effort for. However, if you’re willing to step outside of yourself and whatever situation you’re in you’ll see that there are plenty of other things you can do that would be much more useful.
Doing a workout because endorphins make you feel good.
Going for a walk in nature because nature is a healer or will at least help you feel calm.
Venting to someone that won’t give advice because often you just want to be heard and don’t need someone to tell you what to do.
Have a solo dance party because your favourite music will always brighten your day.
Journaling to work through your feelings because it helps bring clarity.
We never truly take advantage of what we have access to because we don’t value free stuff.
How many free pdfs have you downloaded?
How many free courses have you signed up for?
How many helpful free YouTube videos have you watched?
How much of that information have you implemented into your life or made use of?
There is an abundance of free stuff out there but the problem is, we don’t value it. Somewhere in our minds we feel like if it has no monetary price then it is not of value.
And we know that this is true because many of us pay for things that we can get for free.
When faced with the choice between having nothing to offer and offering something that you know is incorrect, which would you choose?
Having nothing to offer never looks good. It may appear that you’re holding back or even just being lazy.
On the other hand offering something that you know is of no use is, useless. However, you might be wrong. Maybe, the things you’re holding back from offering may not be totally incorrect. Perhaps some of it is useful after all.
And so, it might actually be worth having the courage to offer what you can, you might surprise yourself. However, even if you’re wrong at least you still tried.
What do you do when the worst possible thing happens.
And by worst possible thing I mean something unanticipated, something that you didn’t plan for that throws you off course.
The common and perhaps most easiest way to react is panic.
Like a sort of ‘Oh my goodness, what I am I gonna do, everything is going wrong, this has gotta be liek the worst possible thing, what am I gonna do now?’
Turns out the popular and easy reaction isn’t particularly helpful.
Instead my experience has taught me that the much more useful thing to is think. Go through the possible scenarios and come up with a solution. Once you’re able to remove some of uncertainty suddenly the worst possible thing isn’t so bad.
Granted you can’t control how things will turn out. However, what you can do is remind yourself that you are capable of overcoming the unexpected.
A few days ago, I wrote a post that did well numbers wise and I knew it would.
It was the kind of thing that people like to read whilst also being useful.
I don’t advocate for writing for people as you’ll never find your own voice or style that way. But in my previous post I managed to find the overlap between what I like to write and what you like to read.
That bit is the sweet spot because that way you’re not sacrificing your creativity or your chance to explore.
Short answer: there is no use.
If it doesn’t feel good to feel bad then why not try something else?
It’s easy to feel bad about yourself when things go wrong but ruminating on that feeling isn’t likely to help you improve and get better at whatever you’re working on.
Perhaps asking yourself ‘what could I have done better?’ might be more useful.
Then take whatever is on that list and give them a go one by one until you find something that helps you improve.
I have no doubt that will be much more useful than the previous approach.