Looking back from a place of lack

It’s more than just comfort and familiarity but it’s both of those things too.

When you move on from something and you haven’t reached the place you moved on to, it’s totally normal to look back at what you left or let go of.

And when you’re in a place of limbo, perhaps feeling a little dissatisfied with where you’re at, you might find yourself looking back from a place of lack.

Then suddenly that thing you chose to leave looks golden and bright. You find yourself wondering why you even moved on in the first place.

But deep down you don’t really want that thing, you just crave certainty. It’s much easier to take a step back to the familiarity of what you know than it is to keep going and venture on into the unknown.

Committing to the wrong thing

What do you do when you think you’ve made a mistake?

In times of great uncertainty it’s not surprising that people look to something safe to cling and commit to.

And so we end up playing it safe. Getting a good job and settling down because it’s easier to follow the rules than it is to actually figure out what you truly want.

But weeks, months or even years down the line you’ll get this feeling of longing and wanting.

This comfortable and stable life that you’ve carved out for yourself is great in some ways but it also leaves you unfulfilled.

You wake up, go to work, spend 8 hours doing stuff that you don’t really care about, come home, eat, talk about your day, watch a tv show and then go to bed. And tomorrow it’s exactly the same.

In a bid to have a safe and stable life you’ve gotten rid of the good stuff. The stuff that gives you the opportunity to learn and grow, to push yourself and see what you’re capable of, to experiment, try new things and to explore yourself.

In a bid to have a safe and stable life you said no to pursuing your dream life.

But why not pursue to the dream life instead and go at it with full gusto. Why not commit to living a life of joy, teach yourself to take chances and be okay with uncertainty. Why not find a job you enjoy, explore new things and visit new places.

Life is very different when you open yourself up to possibility and believe that you can do more than just get by.

Dream a new dream

Remaining open to the uncertainty of life has many benefits but a reduction in stress and anxiety are definitely ones worth making a note of.

And so when life doesn’t go to plan it’s okay to embrace uncertainty and dream a new dream. It’s much easier to go with the flow of life than to resist it as they say what you resist persists and I agree.

You might find yourself straying far from where think you want to be or where you thought you’d end up but that doesn’t mean it’s a bad place to be.

Different, unexpected or surprising aren’t equal to bad.

An alternative to seeking reassurance

It was either Seth Godin or Simon Sinek that once said that you shouldn’t seek reassurance because it’s something you can never have enough of.

I don’t think I fully understood the statement until I observed it in others and in myself.

Reassurance creates a temporary fence of stability that lets you know things are fine but it doesn’t last. It’s like a cloud of smoke that will eventually disperse until there’s nothing left and then you just end up back where you started, seeking reassurance once more.

And so instead of seeking reassurance,

Why not practise being adaptable, embracing uncertainty and getting out of your comfort zone?