So often in life we feel like we’re super busy but in reality we aren’t actually getting anything done.
Perhaps you’re the sort of person who always has at least 7 things on the go. You feel like you’re busy but really you’re just overwhelmed. You’re overwhelmed because you’re not allowing your mind to focus.
Instead of finishing one task before you start the next one, you’re doing little bits of each task, flitting from one thing to the next. Then suddenly you find yourself rushing to try and complete everything. More often than not things don’t actually get finished.
Or perhaps you believe in multi-tasking. Things like baking whilst listening to a podcast or making notes at a webinar are fine. The issue arises when you’re baking and trying to make notes whilst listening to something. Or maybe you’re writing, watching a show, playing a game and checking social media.
I think we sometimes underestimate the effect that focusing on one thing at a time can have on our ability to be productive.
In our bid to be productive, feel busy and get lots done we often end up over complicating things.
We’re much better off, slowing down and focusing on one thing at a time
If you’re in a situation that you anticipate could be challenging, you may feel like the best thing to do is back down. That way you no longer have to deal with things or worry about the outcome being far from ideal.
But backing down can also mean that you aren’t willing to stand up for yourself. Sometimes we convince ourselves that backing down is the right thing to do. Other times, we worry that by not backing down, we’re making things difficult for others.
You end up being so considerate of other people that you’re not even willing to stand up for yourself. Backing down is easy and sometimes it might even be the right thing to do. However, if you’re backing down out of fear or your desire to please or appease others then maybe you’ll be better off standing your ground.
Some things are worth waiting for but sometimes you’re better off just calling it quits and moving on to something else.
Just because you can wait, doesnt mean that you should.
What do you do when you’re speaking and nobody is listening?
Do you speak louder and hope that people start to pay attention, do you give up or do you find another way to overcome being ignored?
Being ignored is difficult. It can hurt your feelings, effect your self-esteem and lead you to feel frustrated.
If you’re already being ignored speaking louder might work but it might just lead to more of the same. Giving up sometimes feels like the best option, especially when you’re tired of trying to be heard. But when you decide to give up, the problem you were trying to speak up about still remains.
And then you have the last option, find another way. This might take more time and more effort but in the end it’ll be worth it. When you find a way to overcome a difficult situation it reminds you of your perseverance and ability to overcome challenges.
Before you ask the question, you probably have a pretty good idea of what you want the answer to be.
Sometimes it goes as far as you formulating a question in order to hear a specific answer, like prasie or a compliment.
And sometimes it comes from a place of vanity but other times perhaps you need a little reassurance or a confidence boost.
Then there are other situations where we beat around the bush and ask questions that don’t quite get us the information we wanted. We’re indirect instead of direct. We do this from a place of fear.
When you’re scared to ask a question it’s much easier to ask around the question but the issue with this is that you end up unsatisfied.
The answer you get doesn’t satisfy you because you really wanted to ask about something else. You end up still having more to ask.
This is why it’s so important to ask the right questions.
Sometimes simply doing something for yourself is considered inconsiderate or even selfish. The idea of helping others is sometimes pushed so far that people expect you to do it at the expense of yourself.
And of course there are those that are willing to give the shirts off their own back but it should be a choice, not something you’ve been guilted into.
People might call you inconsiderate for choosing to prioritise yourself over them and it might hurt your feelings. It might hurt so much that you decide to keep putting other people first. But the other option is to accept that persons opinion and continue doing what is best for you because you matter too.
Sometimes the choice you have to make is between taking care of yourself and meeting other peoples expectations.
Nobody wants to be considered a let down which is why often people end up putting themselves aside and focusing more on other people. But you shouldn’t treat yourself as though you don’t matter, you matter just as much as everyone else.
It shouldn’t take you sacrificing yourself in order for other people to be happy.
And maybe you haven’t even realised that you’re doing it. Perhaps it just takes you looking at things as an outsider to realise, you’re so focused on meeting other peoples needs that you’ve stopped making time to tend to your own.
The idea of saying yes to what you want is pretty simple yet somehow we often end up doing the opposite.
We end up saying yes to things that we don’t want.
We have this idea in our mind of what we want, what we’ll say yes to and what we’re willing to accept. Then, when the moment arises where we have the opportunity to show up truthfully, we crumble.
We say yes instead of no and we make allowances or excuses for other people. It’s like we intentionally draw the short straw. It could be about people pleasing, a fear of hurting other peoples feelings or maybe you’re just scared to say no.
What ever the reason, you’re the one that then ends up committing to something that doesn’t even align with what you really want.
And when this happens, it shows. You give less effort, show less enthusiasm and even if you don’t say it, you end up giving off a sort of ‘I don’t want to do this vibe’.
Essentially you just make things harder for yourself and you end up less happy than you could have been.
When it comes to making things happen, we sometimes underestimate the power of letting things go.
We have to make room in our lives for the things we want instead of holding on to the things we no longer need for the sake of nostalgia or fear of change. Sometimes, we feel like letting go means we don’t value things. Other times, we convince ourselves that holding on to the memories will not be enough.
You might even be holding on to the fear that if you let go of something you’ll end up wanting it back or that nothing else good will come into your life.
But letting go is powerful.
It shows that you’re not willing to keep what you don’t need, that you believe better is possible and that you’re open.
On the flipside, holding on to things that you no longer need shows the total opposite.
So often, we get deeply and strongly attached. We hope that things will remain as they are.
We fear that change might bring in what we don’t want and clear out what we do want.
But, I like to believe that as wonderful and perfect as things might be right now, everything could be different and still be wonderful and perfect.
That serves as a reminder that it’s okay for things to change.
There is no need to hold great attachment to the way things are, in doing so we don’t allow space for the new.
New might not be ‘better’ but it will be different. It’s the opportunity to experience something you’ve never experienced, it’s a chance to learn and grow.
Sometimes in life you can be so set on knowing yourself and figuring out who you are that you don’t leave room for flexibility.
I think it’s important to find the balance between knowing yourself, whilst still remaining open to new things.
You don’t want to end up being rigid.
However, the reason we close ourselves off to new things is because it can take a lot of effort to change.
Your thoughts, opinions, beliefs and world view took a long time to develop and become what they are today. Being open to new information that could change any of that can feel like more hassle than it’s worth. Or maybe it feels like a threat to your sense of self.
Suddenly, the things you aspired to, cared about and believed in are different. It’s almost like you’ve become someone new, which is not a bad thing. However, the hard part can come from showing up as a changed person and letting go of your old self.