What’s it like?

I committed myself to writing and sharing it on this blog over 3 years ago. Sometimes it’s easy but other times it feels difficult to do. Sometimes I want to write about the world or social media and other times I want to share what I’ve learnt about myself through self-exploration. The personal posts come easy to me because I’m used to writing about myself. When I write about social media or the world, it’s fun because I’m sharing my ideas.

I’ve developed such soft spot for this writing space. I can show up, write and share it. I get to express myself through words and it’s so liberating. And then when you show up as a reader, sometimes it feels validating. It’s nice knowing that my words don’t simply get lost or drowned out. But I think most importantly, it’s good to know that there are people that get it. I’m not writing anything that is obscure or uncommon. The Daily Gemm is really just thoughts on life but in my own style which I’m still developing.

I recently wondered if I should give up this site to make space for other creative work. However, I realised that in my 10+ years of blogging this has been my favourite and best blog. Even when I’m struggling for what to write or the words aren’t quite coming together well, I still enjoy it.

I love to write, I’ve gotten and continue to get so much from it. It’s the gift that keeps on giving. There’s really nothing like it.

Stripped back

When your life gets overwhelming and everything feels like too much, you might need to strip things back for a little while.

When you remove things from your life it makes you realise whether you really want or even need them.

You could log out of your social media accounts (or at least mute everyone you follow) and then see how much you miss it. It’s not about quitting altogether but more that perhaps you’ll miss catching up on tidbits of your long distance friends lives but are no longer interested in following your favourite clothing brands. You might also find that you’re not so fussed to go back to following a bunch of strangers who rarely go a day without telling you to buy something.

You could create a capsule wardrobe and see how it feels to get ready with less choice. You might find that you miss having the variety of items and the fun of choosing what to wear. But on the flipside you might become aware of how much time you used to waste finding the right outfit because your closet was full of clothes you didn’t really like.

Lastly, you could strip back your social life. Instead of catching up over dinner and drinks or going dancing, go for lunch alone, get a juice alone and focus on spending time with yourself.

Doing this reminds you of the people you enjoy spending time with the most but also reminds you what you enjoy spending your time doing. You might realise you don’t normally make enough time to do things alone or that you prefer your own company to the company of certain people you’ve gotten into the habit of spending time with.

Alone time

Something really interesting happens when you start spending time alone.

You learn a lot about yourself. You learn what you like to do, how you like to spend your time, what brings you joy, what fulfills you and so much more outside of your relationships with other people.

So often we learn about ourselves in conjunction with other people. ‘My sister and I like to do this, when I’m with my friends I like to do that or my partner and I often do this together’. And it’s not that you don’t enjoy those things or that it’s not the real you but I think it’s important to explore yourself by yourself.

You might discover that there are a whole heap of things that you enjoy doing alone that you never previously had time for because you always prioritised spending time with other people. Or, you might find that you appreciate making time for yourself to spend doing small and simple things like bake, take a walk or read outside in a park.

Sticking with what you know

The familiarity of what you know might be the thing that keeps you from exploring other ideas or options.

Let’s take the example of food.

Imagine you go to a restaurant and order the duck. Now imagine the duck is incredibly delicious and so each time you go back, you order the same thing.

You find yourself sticking with what you know because you know you’ll like it. But there are many other options available to you that are worth exploring. It’s not that you’ll like them more but instead a reminder of the important of taking advantage of what is available. I think sometimes in life we take our options for granted.

As much as there are so many other options available for you to experience, you turn them down because you’d rather play it safe with wat you know than venture out into the unknown.

But what you end up forgetting is that the very thing you’re clinging to because of familiarity was also once unfamiliar, you just got used to it over time.

Making the case for curiosity

I think the idea of being curious is something often associated with childhood. You think of being at a young age where you have lots of questions and so you ask them not really thinking about whether or not you should.

But then we get older, for a large majority of people asking questions is seen as a bad thing. It’s considered nosy.

I think being curious is a good thing. It helps us learn and grow.

Plus, in many situations although there are almost unspoken rules about not asking questions, the truth is that asking might actually benefit you.

It might feel like you’re being an inconvenience but if you don’t understand something or you want to know more, why should you stay quiet. This of course does not apply to asking questions that can be answered by a quick google. Those questions are more about laziness than curiosity.

I’m thinking more of the questions with answers that will provide knowledge.

Maybe it’s a question about yourself. Maybe you ask someone if there’s anything you can do to help them.

Anyway the point is curiosity isn’t a bad thing, it’s human nature. It comes in more forms than just asking questions, it’s also about exploration and openness.

Curiosity is an aspect of myself I’ve been making more of an effort to embrace and it’s paying off.

Saying yes to exploration

The idea of exploring is one I don’t think is valued enough. I don’t mean travelling and exploring new countries or cities, I mean exploring self.

Being able to know your own limits whilst also being able to put yourself out there and experience new things.

It’s so easy to stay within the remit of what you know because there’s comfort in familiarity. However, it’s also worth considering when you don’t venture outside of that you lose the chance to learn about yourself about and understand yourself.

When you give yourself the opportunity to explore life a little more, you might find that you don’t actually believe the things you thought were true.

In search of something

I think that most people go through the stage at some point in their lives where they’re in search of something.

You might call it finding yourself, getting to know you, self-exploration and so on.

It’s an important part of life that effects your career path, the friends you make time for, the people you date, what you do in your free time etc.

The fascinating thing is that when you go out to find yourself you have no idea what you’re looking for. You’re just searching and perhaps it’ll begin with something new and uncomfortable because surely you can’t find yourself in the ordinary.

But eventually I think for a lot of people the breakthrough comes in small moments.