Some people will never truly hear you when you speak no matter how hard you try.
In those circumstances the solution is never to try harder.
You might think that the harder you try they’ll eventually come around and hear you out. But the thing is some people aren’t interested in being wrong.
Some people aren’t interested in hearing a perspective that contradicts their own.
And even if they realise that they were wrong and the information you shared had changed their mind, they’re more likely to dismiss that.
When a person is more interested in being right than being open to new information, it might be a waste of time trying to get them to listen.
When it comes to the things we do in our day to day life, I think it’s important to make it as easy as possible.
If you want to read more, have a book on your bedside table instead of tighly slotted into your bookshelf.
If you want to spend more time with friends, make plans in advance instead of getting frustrated that they aren’t available with short notice.
If you want to drink more water, fill up a water bottle and keep it with you wherever you go instead of waiting until you’re thirsty.
A big part of changing your habits and the way you live your life comes from making a conscious effort not simply wishing you could be different.
One of the most popular excuses people make is not having enough time.
Yet you’re able to make time for things that you don’t even really consider to be important.
Meanwhile, it’s your life long dream that you’re willing to put on hold or sometimes put off altogether.
There’s no denying that it can be difficult to make time but surely you’d be willing to find a way for the things you truly care about.
Finding a way might mean getting up a little earlier, watching one episode of that show you like instead of three or even making use of your train journeys.
It might seem challenging but with a little thought and a little effort, it’s definitely possible to make the most of the time you have.
A difficult conversation is a conversation worth having.
It’s hard speaking up when you don’t know how to say things eloquently, you’re worried about how people will react and feel like nobody will pay attention.
But that doesn’t mean you should say nothing.
Maybe it means you should take a different approach, ensure you’re talking to the right people and trust that even if you don’t get the outcome you wanted at least you tried.
Sometimes we’re so focused on the end result that if things don’t go our way, we end up thinking that it was mistake to even try.
When you think of a perfectionist, what comes to mind?
Almost every time it’s the type A personality who is incredibly organised and competitive. The sort of person who is particular and also explicit about wanting to get things right.
But there is a different kind of perfectionist too.
The second is the sort of person that procrastinates and fears their best will never be good enough.
Beneath the surface they seek perfectionism too. They have such high expectations that they won’t even try if they think they can’t meet them. This sort of person feels disappointed if they produce something that isn’t ‘perfect’.
The difference between these 2 people is that the first is willing to try.
We often underestimate the role that belief plays in our development. But the truth is you could be so much more if only you believed.
Take something as seemingly insignificant as walking across a balancing beam. The people that make it from one side to the other will be the ones that believe they can get across.
Sure they might fall off a few times but because they already believe it’s possible they’ll have the determination to keep trying.
On the other hand, the ones who don’t believe, well they’re more likely to fall off and less likely to keep trying.
Or they won’t even try at all.
So often, we’re afraid to be vulnerable and let people know where we’re at. In doing that you miss out on the opportunity to be supported by people that care.
What often ends up happening is you feel frustrated that there is no one to support you, not realising that you haven’t even given them a chance.
The best way to break this habit is to be more open when talking to the people that you know you can trust. Instead of having those Hey, how’s it going? Yeah, good thanks, you? types of conversations make the effort to be a little more vulnerable.
It might feel strange at first but when you talk to the right people they’ll listen to you and show support which is sometimes all you need. Your act of bravery might have a knock on effect because often you find that the other person will start to open up more too.
Sometimes good things take time.
But if you’re not willing to wait you’ll end up missing out.
The lesson to learn is that you have to believe it can happen before it happens, instead of getting impatient.
Trust that the thing you want is possible and slowly but surely it’ll happen.
Granted it can be difficult to hold on to what might feel like blind faith but that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t try.
And don’t get caught up in thinking that the frustration of waiting is your only option.
So much can change in a moment, a few hours or a day.
Before you know it you’ll be onto the good bit.
If you feel discouraged with where you’re at you have two options.
The first is to quit and the second is to stick at it.
Whichever option you choose commit to it wholeheartedly.
If you think about it, there really isn’t much point going after your dreams (or the thing that you’re telling everyone is your dream) if you can’t even be bothered to give it your all.
People don’t often talk about quitting or deciding that they don’t want to proceed with the thing they have been working on.
I used to think that quitting was a bad thing, that it meant you were giving up, that you didn’t try hard enough and so on.
But with age and I suppose also experience I’ve come to realise that there are times when quitting is necessary.
Not everything that you try is going to work out, not everything you do will be a success.
And so you have to know when to quit because sometimes in quitting and closing the door to one thing you allow yourself to open up to something else.
Mid-week musings on not embracing anxiety.
If you find yourself caught in the analysis paralysis of indecision it might be worth making a conscious effort to care-less.
Instead of allowing the thoughts to go on and on until breaking point, give yourself a deadline.
3 minutes, 3 hours or 3 days before you have to take action. Do it for at least a week and keep a dairy of the decisions you made and the outcome.
The ideal outcome would be that you find that whether you care or care-less things will still be alright which is a pretty good reason to stop being so afraid of making decisions.
You’ll have physical evidence that what you decide isn’t always the most important thing it’s how you feel and your attitude towards what you’ve decided.
And if you find you’ve picked something that didn’t result in the desired outcome , then it’ll be the perfect time to practice your bouncebackability.
At the end of trying out a different approach to decision making the beauty of it is, is that if it was just totally dreadful you can always go back to your old approach.
If that’s the the case at least you tried which is often more important than the actual result.