When you think of a perfectionist, what comes to mind?
Almost every time it’s the type A personality who is incredibly organised and competitive. The sort of person who is particular and also explicit about wanting to get things right.
But there is a different kind of perfectionist too.
The second is the sort of person that procrastinates and fears their best will never be good enough.
Beneath the surface they seek perfectionism too. They have such high expectations that they won’t even try if they think they can’t meet them. This sort of person feels disappointed if they produce something that isn’t ‘perfect’.
The difference between these 2 people is that the first is willing to try.
We often underestimate the role that belief plays in our development. But the truth is you could be so much more if only you believed.
Take something as seemingly insignificant as walking across a balancing beam. The people that make it from one side to the other will be the ones that believe they can get across.
Sure they might fall off a few times but because they already believe it’s possible they’ll have the determination to keep trying.
On the other hand, the ones who don’t believe, well they’re more likely to fall off and less likely to keep trying.
Or they won’t even try at all.
So often, we’re afraid to be vulnerable and let people know where we’re at. In doing that you miss out on the opportunity to be supported by people that care.
What often ends up happening is you feel frustrated that there is no one to support you, not realising that you haven’t even given them a chance.
The best way to break this habit is to be more open when talking to the people that you know you can trust. Instead of having those Hey, how’s it going? Yeah, good thanks, you? types of conversations make the effort to be a little more vulnerable.
It might feel strange at first but when you talk to the right people they’ll listen to you and show support which is sometimes all you need. Your act of bravery might have a knock on effect because often you find that the other person will start to open up more too.
Sometimes good things take time.
But if you’re not willing to wait you’ll end up missing out.
The lesson to learn is that you have to believe it can happen before it happens, instead of getting impatient.
Trust that the thing you want is possible and slowly but surely it’ll happen.
Granted it can be difficult to hold on to what might feel like blind faith but that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t try.
And don’t get caught up in thinking that the frustration of waiting is your only option.
So much can change in a moment, a few hours or a day.
Before you know it you’ll be onto the good bit.
If you feel discouraged with where you’re at you have two options.
The first is to quit and the second is to stick at it.
Whichever option you choose commit to it wholeheartedly.
If you think about it, there really isn’t much point going after your dreams (or the thing that you’re telling everyone is your dream) if you can’t even be bothered to give it your all.
People don’t often talk about quitting or deciding that they don’t want to proceed with the thing they have been working on.
I used to think that quitting was a bad thing, that it meant you were giving up, that you didn’t try hard enough and so on.
But with age and I suppose also experience I’ve come to realise that there are times when quitting is necessary.
Not everything that you try is going to work out, not everything you do will be a success.
And so you have to know when to quit because sometimes in quitting and closing the door to one thing you allow yourself to open up to something else.
Mid-week musings on not embracing anxiety.
If you find yourself caught in the analysis paralysis of indecision it might be worth making a conscious effort to care-less.
Instead of allowing the thoughts to go on and on until breaking point, give yourself a deadline.
3 minutes, 3 hours or 3 days before you have to take action. Do it for at least a week and keep a dairy of the decisions you made and the outcome.
The ideal outcome would be that you find that whether you care or care-less things will still be alright which is a pretty good reason to stop being so afraid of making decisions.
You’ll have physical evidence that what you decide isn’t always the most important thing it’s how you feel and your attitude towards what you’ve decided.
And if you find you’ve picked something that didn’t result in the desired outcome , then it’ll be the perfect time to practice your bouncebackability.
At the end of trying out a different approach to decision making the beauty of it is, is that if it was just totally dreadful you can always go back to your old approach.
If that’s the the case at least you tried which is often more important than the actual result.
We so often go through life wishing and hoping for things but not taking any action.
It could be wanting a new job because you aren’t happy in your current job but all you do is complain about it.
Wanting to meet new people but never going anywhere new.
Wanting to get fit but coming home after work and sitting in bed watching episodes of a show on Netflix back to back.
Wanting to eat better but only buying frozen food and microwave meals.
We have much more control over our lives than our minds will sometimes have us believe.
If you want something different, try something new.