Identifying barriers

If you had £10million what would you do differently?

We otfen think that money is the biggets barrier to us being able to achcive our dreams. However, that is rarely the case because where there is a will there is a way.

The real barrier is a little more challenging to overcome.

The real barrier is fear, a lack of confidence or low self-esteem, the list could go on.

If you’re scared to pursue your dreams without money you’ll still have some of that fear leftover when money is no longer an issue.

So work out what you’re afraid of and overcome it so that it’ll no longer hold you back.

Settling with age

Most of us start out with big dreams of what we want to do with our lives. Then slowly, bit by bit, as the years go on we start to settle.

We settle from setbacks that lower our self-belief until you’ve convinced yourself that they were unrealistic anyway.

Other times you have people tell you that your dreams are too big, that they won’t work and that you need to be realistic.

Sometimes you’re aware of it but other times you have no idea until years have gone by and you’re wondering what happened to those dreams you used to have.

The way that things should be

We often go around with this idea in our heads of the way that things should be, in some ways it’s a good thing. When you know what you want you’re much less likely to let life pass you by.

On the other hand when you’re so fixated on the way that things should be you don’t give room for organic growth and development.

Lets say you applied for what you think will be your dream job but when you get there it’s not quite what you thought it would be. If you’re dead set on your ‘dream job’ you might end up leaving after a few months or staying put but hating it because it’s not what you wanted.

But if you take your foot off the gas and let go of the rigid plan created you might find that in this job you’re able to discover something that you’re actually interested in. It might be be even better than what you thought you wanted.

Letting go of expectations and letting things be isn’t always easy to put into practice. It requires patience and the ability to trust that things will turn out okay.

Choice and change

When you’re comfortable with the way things are it can be difficult to make the choice to change.

Most people have dreams of the kind of life that they want yet they allow their feelings of comfort to stand in the way.

The inner monologue will say something like ‘Why move to a new city, when you have everything here. Why would you want to be away from your friends and family?’.

Those kinds of thoughts totally underestimate our capabilities as human beings.

If you move to a new city and hate it, you can always move back. When it comes to friends and family of course you’ll miss them but it’s not like you’ll never see them again. Also you’ll make new friends and meet new people.

So often people don’t allow themselves to grow because they’re stuck on feeling comfortable instead of being open to exploring life.

Accidental escapism

Sometimes it takes accidental escapism to remind you of the kind of person you desire to be.

Catch yourself in the moment and ask yourself questions like ‘Am I being myself?’ or ‘Is this truly where I want to be?’ And then answer them openly and vulnerably.

You might find that you’re quite content with the life you’ve created but perhaps you’re yearning for more. Many people believe that dreams are something that we have to grow out or let go of, that they aren’t to be actualized. But what if they are.

Perhaps that’s the reason for your lack of contentment in life.

All you have to do is figure out what you want and then go for it with full gusto.

Quitting

If you feel discouraged with where you’re at you have two options.

The first is to quit and the second is to stick at it.

Whichever option you choose commit to it wholeheartedly.

If you think about it, there really isn’t much point going after your dreams (or the thing that you’re telling everyone is your dream) if you can’t even be bothered to give it your all.

People don’t often talk about quitting or deciding that they don’t want to proceed with the thing they have been working on.

I used to think that quitting was a bad thing, that it meant you were giving up, that you didn’t try hard enough and so on.

But with age and I suppose also experience I’ve come to realise that there are times when quitting is necessary.

Not everything that you try is going to work out, not everything you do will be a success.

And so you have to know when to quit because sometimes in quitting and closing the door to one thing you allow yourself to open up to something else.

Meeting expectations

Not those of others but your own.

I think a lot of people have expectations for what they want out of life. And despite the popular phrase that goes something like ‘If you’re dreams don’t scare you they’re not big enough’, high expectations can be overwhelming.

But something that I’ve learnt is that you have to be committed and pace yourself. If you truly want to achieve something it shouldn’t be conditional, you should be dedicated to it.

I’ve also found it useful to check in and like to refer back to something Seth Godin once said about how you’re either talking to the wring people or you’re not making good enough stuff.

And I’m at a point where I can see that just because I’m trying hard doesn’t mean what I’m producing is good enough for the outcome that I want.

When that happens I take a step back and re-group. I think about what I’m doing that is good and how I can make it better.

My expectations of myself are quite frankly ridiculous which is why I find them overwhelming. Plus, I often make the mistake of focusing too much on the end goal instead of simply just doing the work.

I don’t have a roundup or a takeaway as I’m still learning how to manage the expectations I have of myself.

However, what I will share is that if you find yourself getting overwhelmed or frustrated you probably need to change what you’re doing or the way you’re thinking.

On being content with not becoming a writer

Or at least trying to be.

I remember being around 16 or 17 telling a classmate about my writing hobby and that I had thought of doing it as a career. At the time I was pretty lost with regard to career plans and my civil engineering dream was becoming less and less likely.

My classmate on the other hand was an excellent academic – who went on to study medicine.

He told me (in a roundabout way) that sometimes when you try to turn your hobby into your career it ruins it.

At the time I think I said something like yeah you’re right. But in my head I thought but I wanna be a writer and over half a decade later I still think that.

However, despite wanting to be a writer, I’m now 2 years into a career in transport. For the most part, I’m pretty happy with where I’m at and that has made me realise that more than wanting to be a writer what I really want is to write.

And I do write.

Every.

Single.

Day.

When life comes together

How does it feel when you realise you’re living your dreams.

I’d consider myself to be a bit of a dreamer. I daydream, I can be idealistic and I love stories.

I daydream/visualise about my future on a regular basis sometimes intentionally and sometimes on accident.

I often find that months or years later that thing I was daydreaming about is part of my reality.

And it can something like the kind of person I want to meet or an aspect of my lifestyle.

It fascinates me that you can have days where you’re happily going through life and then you suddenly realise that last year you’d been dreaming about being where you are right now.

Boy dreamer

When our dreams are greater than our present circumstances it can be easy to feel like it’s us against life as though we’re pushing back.

You might think you’re the only one with big dreams as everyone else just seems to get on with things without dragging their heels.

But if you take the time to speak to the people around you, you might find that they have dreams too. Talking to the right people will always be helpful and realising you’re not alone is a bonus.

Finding out that someone else in a similar position to you has dreams too is something you might not have even considered. That’s just one of many reasons to not make assumptions.