It’s one thing to know it happens but to accept it is a whole other story.
You might find that you’ve become so comfortable with the way things are that the thought of them being any different is just too much to bear.
But change is part of life and no matter how much you try to hold on, things will always keep changing.
Choosing to be resistant instead of accepting change just delays the inevitable causing unnecessary levels of anxiety, stress, sadness and frustration. because
Think of change like the tide, it’s so much easier to go with it than against it.
I think it’s fair to say that sometimes we’d rather be comfortable and complain than push ourselves. It’s not a bad thing to be able to admit it, infact I think it’s good to be able to pick up on these habits if you have them.
A common example of where this occurs is the work place. You have an issue to deal with and instead of sorting out the issue by facing it head on, you skirt around it.
Perhaps you’ve even had times of venting to someone but when they offered you suggestions you ignored them because you weren’t ready.
And sometimes that’s the simple truth, you need more time.
So, complain and stay stagnant for a little longer, just until you can take it no more.
Then either you take a leap and do what needs to be done or someone gives you a push. If it’s the latter it might not feel so good in the moment but it will benefit you in the long run.
Every once in a while you may be forced to come out of your comfort zone.
The idea that what you resist persists is true, some things just can’t be avoided.
You’ve probably been resistant and stuck in your comfort zone because you’re scared, the uncertainty is overwhelming and you’ve become comfortable with what you know.
Sometimes those are good enough reasons to stick with what you know. You don’t need to force yourself to do things that you don’t want to do.
But maybe you feel like you’re holding yourself back or feel are unhappy with the limitations you have placed on yourself.
If that’s the case, embrace the new and get out of your comfort zone.
Of course things that are new and unfamiliar might feel uncomfortable to begin with but over time that feeling will reduce. And maybe in a few weeks, months or even a year those things that once felt uncomfortable will become part of your comfort zone (or at least much less uncomfortable).
Do you really know what you want?
Often we go around telling people what we do want and even what we don’t want. Doing so can help you feel like you know and understand yourself because you’re able to articulate your needs.
What can end up happening is, when the needs you voiced are met, you come to find that it’s not what you really wanted at all.
Suddenly, you find yourself going back on your previous statement or displaying emotions like frustration or annoyance at the person who has done what you asked.
For example, you may say that you want to be left alone. However, when everyone leaves you end up getting upset.
The truth of that matter is that you didn’t really want to be left alone. Perhaps, it’s that you felt misunderstood, wanted someone to sit with you and listen or just wanted comfort. However, voicing these kinds of needs isn’t always easy because they show your vulnerable side.
It’s much easier to just say that you want to be alone, particularly when you’re not sure if the people around you are capable of meeting your real needs.
But, if you give the people around you some credit and allow yourself to be vulnerable for just a moment, you might find that you’re able to get exactly what you need.
If you had to pick between the 2, which one would you go for.
When you think about word association exciting is probably associated with words like fun but also maybe risk.
Comforting on the other hand is probably associated with familiarity and being boring.
Despite what you might think you’d choose, if you look back on your past choices many people find that they choose comfort, over and over again.
I think the reason for this is that even if we can’t admit it, we’d much rather stick with what we know and be bored than take a risk and potentially have it go wrong.
And so the real choice we give ourselves is risk or relief.
This is one of the easiest ways to feel better about life.
Instead of gazing into the abyss of nothingness wondering what the future will hold, you can set yourself up with something to look forward to.
It could be a catch up with a friend in a few days time or a holiday a year from now. But it could also be you making time for a hobby you enjoy one evening after work.
I think the reason having something to look forward to can help us feel better is because it gives us some indication of how the future will be. Granted we can’t predict everything but if we can set one or even a few things in stone then suddenly the future isn’t so frightening.
It’s common to fear the unknown and so if you can in some way bring some sense of knowing or stability, it helps make things easier.
Talking about how unhappy you are with where you’re at is easy to do. Talking about the changes you want to happen in your life is also pretty easy.
But when it comes to actually turning those thoughts into plans, things tend to get a little more challenging.
First of all, there is the familiarity factor. There is comfort in familiarity. Just the fact that your current circumstance is what you’re used to will make it difficult for you to move on from it to something new.
Then, there is the commitment to the change you want.
Lastly, there is the risk ‘what if it doesn’t work?’
All of that is enough to convince many people to stay exactly where they are. Or they tell themselves they’ll make the changes slowly over time. But often those efforts are half-hearted.
What you might need to do is take a leap a faith. Launch yourself into the unknown, fully committed and knowing that you can handle whatever challenges come your way.
Sometimes that’s the only way to make changes in your life.
Often when a person finds themselves craving something new, it’s because they’re bored with where they’re at.
As much as familiarity can be comforting and pleasant, for many people they find themselves at a point where they want more.
You find yourself wanting something different, not because what you’re used to isn’t working but because you want to remember the feeling of newness.
It’s like taking a different route home every once in a while. You do it to switch things up not because you never want to take your usual route again.
This idea can apply to so many things and one of them is the work you do. When you’re doing the same thing over and over you’ll get sick of it after a while because you’re no longer doing it consciously, you’re not thinking or stretching your mind and you want to be challenged.
So, you put yourself forward for a new type of work. It’s new and unfamiliar and you enjoy it simply because it’s not what you’re used to.
The beauty of this kind of situation is after you’re tried something new, you can go back to what you were doing before often with new found appreciation.
The idea of exploring is one I don’t think is valued enough. I don’t mean travelling and exploring new countries or cities, I mean exploring self.
Being able to know your own limits whilst also being able to put yourself out there and experience new things.
It’s so easy to stay within the remit of what you know because there’s comfort in familiarity. However, it’s also worth considering when you don’t venture outside of that you lose the chance to learn about yourself about and understand yourself.
When you give yourself the opportunity to explore life a little more, you might find that you don’t actually believe the things you thought were true.
It’s a new day, a new month, a new year and a new decade.
If you’ve been waiting for the perfect time to begin, that time is now.
Start the blog, writing the book, writing songs, writing poetry, take that class, visit that new city, initiate plans with that person you met recently, start that podcast, share your photography or whatever it may be.
So, often we hold off from starting because we think that we’re not ready or we’re waiting for the right time.
But there is no right time, it’s a myth and you’ll always be able to find an excuse as to why you should put off that thing for just a little bit longer.
Maybe you don’t feel comfortable enough with how your voice sounds to start a podcast. But maybe if you just started the comfort would come with time. Plus most people don’t like the sound of their own voice when they hear it back, so you’re not alone.
The difference is they choose not to indulge in that feeling because they know that they have something worth sharing.
If you’ve been waiting for to start, start now.