Yes, no, maybe so.
There’s a thing in NLP about outcome based actions, that what we do should be based on the outcome we desire.
But recently I found myself thinking about how it’s important to not be too attached to the way things turn out.
At least not to the point where you crash and burn when things don’t go to plan.
It’s an interesting balance between action and outcome.
Sometimes we do things we wouldn’t normally do in the hopes of getting what we want. Sometimes it works out in our favour and other times not so much.
I believe that your actions should be done in support of your desired outcome but you shouldn’t be so attached to the result that you’re disheartened if things don’t work out.
Because no matter how hard you try, wish and will, their is only one single factor that you can actually control.
he things you can connect to and resonate with, the things that move you, fill your life with more of that.
I find myself energised, motivated and inspired by certain things. Whereas other things perhaps annoy me or bring out my low mood.
It doesn’t help to consume things that leave you feeling blue. It’s not the kindest way to treat yourself which is why it’s important to remind yourself that you have options.
Social media is a place full of content that can move you, if you let it. It’s great when you’re being moved by something that inspires you or makes you take action on the things you’ve been working on or if it teaches you something new.
On the other hand, if you’re being moved to publish a thread of angry tweets on something you don’t really know about that you’ll regret posting in a week or 2 then maybe think twice about what you choose to follow.
But also think about the ways you’re allowing yourself to be moved. It can be a beautiful thing.
I listened to a podcast recently that moved me to write something and from that I started planning for a future project.
I was moved to create which is something I enjoy and that’s what is important.
The things that move us can have the power to influence us into doing or feeling things we don’t enjoy and a lot of people aren’t even aware.
I think that’s pretty interesting.
What do you do when you find yourself experiencing the same situations over and over again.
No matter how much your life seems to change you find yourself going through the same old, same old.
Who’s to blame?
Why is it happening?
And most importantly, how do you break the cycle?
I’m going to have start researching more so I can make references but what I do know is that blaming yourself rarely helps.
You don’t need to blame anyone else either. Instead, just know that you can change things.
It happens because our brains get lazy, they love repeating patterns and loops even when they aren’t most beneficial. We handle situations however we know how and sometimes we don’t have the knowledge or tools to react in a way that will be helpful in the long run.
Before you know it, you’re finding yourself in the same situations and reacting similarly to how you first did. Nothing has changed aside from the fact that you’re now 6 years older.
Breaking the cycle starts with acknowledging your circumstances because like a popular song lyric states ‘you can’t fix what you can’t see’. When you find yourself in that familiar situation don’t go into autopilot and just do what you usually do because things will never change that way.
You have to be conscious and self aware enough that you can stop and ask yourself ‘What is the most helpful way for me to respond that will achieve my desired outcome?’
This will be a trial and error thing but the advice I can give is to remember that you have no control over anyone but yourself and when thinking of your desired outcome make it based on how you want to feel.
A simple exercise to get your mind thinking.
It’s important to identify what you want from life because it gives you a sense of direction. It also helps in identifying what you do and don’t need in your life.
Following on from that you need to come up with an action to take. It’s all good and well wanting things but what are you going to do to make it happen.
When it comes to your wants and wills, make them as specific as possible because it’s much easier to stick to a plan that’s solid.
I want to save more money.
I will put money aside each month.
How much do you want to save and over what time period?
Make it specific
I want to save £500 over 6 months and I will put aside £120 every month as soon as I get paid.
We so often go through life wishing and hoping for things but not taking any action.
It could be wanting a new job because you aren’t happy in your current job but all you do is complain about it.
Wanting to meet new people but never going anywhere new.
Wanting to get fit but coming home after work and sitting in bed watching episodes of a show on Netflix back to back.
Wanting to eat better but only buying frozen food and microwave meals.
We have much more control over our lives than our minds will sometimes have us believe.
If you want something different, try something new.