Just because someone is older than you doesn’t mean they’re the best person to seek advice from.
I think there’s a level of vulnerability that comes with asking for advice, to be open and honest enough to say ‘Hey, so I’m going through xyz and I just wanted to get some advice from you as I’m not really sure how to move forward.’
Something I’ve learnt is that when I have a difficult decision to make it helps to view the situation from a different perspective and sometimes that happens quickest when you talk to someone.
However, it’s important to make sure that you’re talking to the right person.
For me that would be:
Someone I trust.
Someone I look up to.
Someone I admire.
Someone who has my best interests at heart.
Someone who will give impartial advice.
Someone with experience.
When you feel stuck and want some advice you probably want it from someone who can help steer you in the right direction rather than someone who leaves you feeling stressed or further fuels your indecision.
Whilst recently asking for advice I realised that often the main thing I want is someone who can shift my perspective.
Perhaps to not even advise on my specific situation but to remind me that I’m capable of making the ‘right’ decision.
One of the easiest ways to gain trust is by doing exactly what you tell others to do.
People are much less likely to listen to what you say if it’s not what you do.
And that’s why I’m careful about the advice I give and the words I share, the truth is I’m still working on all of it.
But I’ve tried it which is why I’m comfortable telling you to try it.
But people that sit around dishing out advice that they themselves don’t practice, those people might not be worth taking seriously because if they don’t even take the advice they give, why should you.
In a recent discussion online, I got thinking about how when it comes to information or resources we pay for things that we can get for free.
But what I’ve come to realise is that for me it’s not about getting the information, it’s about doing something with it. When you pay money for something you’re more inclined to use it, unless you don’t mind wasting money.
It’s also about trust and how much we value the resources.
Sometimes we forget that time, effort and care goes into the things people create.
I think we’re more likely to trust and value something with a cost from someone who has given us things we trust and value for free.
To the point where even if we could get something similar for free we’d actually prefer to pay for it.