Figure out what you need

Through periods of overwhelm it’s easy to feel lost and stuck. When there are 101 problems finding a solution can be challenging.

Often, the best place to start is by figuring out what you need in the moment.

Finish the sentence:

When I feel anxious in a crowded place, I need…

Perhaps you’re in a crowded place feeling anxious, sirens are going off in your mind and part of you just wants to go home this instant.

But all you need is a moment alone in a quiet place to do something soothing like count, a sensory exercise or tapping.

It takes practice to know what you need, practice to know when to apply it and practice to be able to take space to care for yourself.

But practice makes perfect so it’s worth a try.

Unwanted offerings

Just becuase someone is offering something , doesnt mean you need to take it.

It can happen one of two ways

The first is someone extends an offering, you say no thank and continue to decline even if they keep pushing.

The second option is you accept the offering because you don’t want the other person to feel rejected.

If you have an issue with people pleasing, chances are you’re very familiar with the second option and struggle with doing the first. As much as it can be hard to turn something down that was offered with good intentions you have to learn to be clear and stand firm in your choices even if it doesn’t feel easy in the moment.

How they used to be

The way that things are right now, probably isn’t how they used to be.

I think it’s important to acknowledge when things have changed.

Something that was good 2 years ago might not be so good anymore. And so there is not much use to clinging on to the way that things were because they are that way no longer.

Instead, take things for what they are right now, in the present moment.

Letting things pile up

Little problems can suddenly become big problems.

It is so important to address things in the moment instead of brushing them off, waiting or saying nothing.

When you do this you’ll find that days, weeks or even months later you’re bringing stuff up that were (according to the other person) not an issue when they happened. And this can then make you seem disingenuous because you pretended that everything was okay instead of raising the issue in the moment.

I think it’s important to be clear about what you do and don’t accept. And then practice voicing that to the people around you so that they are aware of what you’re not okay with.

That way, you never have to let things pile up because that person is already aware. Sometimes we tell ourselves that by saying nothing we are avoiding confrontation or protecting the other persons feelings from getting hurt. However, more often than not we just end up causing ourselves more issues.

I wrote this for you

You know the feeling you get when you read something that resonates. You feel seen, you feel heard and you feel connected, often to a complete stranger.

But this person was able to form something that encapsulates a feeling or a moment from your life. It can often serve as a reminder that we’re not so different or as separate from each other as we sometimes end up believing.

If you can be moved by words written 200 years ago then our problems, challenges and experiences aren’t so unique to us, there are plenty of other people that know what it’s like. In my teenage years I liked to beelive that somehow the author knew that I’d need to read their words, almost as if they wrote them just for me. Of course that wasn’t the case but it was a nice thought at the time.

I’ve held on to that idea but allowed it to evolve a little. As someone who writes and shares their words, I never write with a particular person in mind but I know that people are often drawn to read about things they can relate to.

I’ve read great words that have moved me and so I hope to do the same. I guess it’s sort of like taking one and passing it on.

‘I wrote this for you because of what they wrote for me.’

What can you do right now?

We often put things off, telling ourselves that later will always be an option.

But we ignore the fact that life is finite. That perhaps starting today will be the only chance you get to finish what it is you wanted to do.

Your work is important, it matters.

Don’t focus so much on how much time you could have instead focus on the present moment.

Ask yourself, what can I do right now that supports my end goal?

And it doesn’t have to be about making money or working yourself to the bone. Perhaps what you can do right now to support your end goal is a 20 minutue meditation or write yourself a to do list for the week.

It’s better to start now and start small than not start at all.

Good in the long run

There will always be things that you need to do but don’t necessarily enjoy.

Often it’s these kinds of things that are good in the long run but in the moment, in the short run you’d rather not bother.

If it’s in a work environment you’ll most likely get it done because you have have to. However, when it comes to your own personal work or projects you might not have a monthly wage to motivate you to get things done.

And so you have to remind yourself of the benefits it will bring in the future.

But also remind yourself that if you don’t do it you’re more than likely to regret it later on when you’re unable to reap the rewards.

The perfect words

There are some cases when, if you don’t know what to say the best thing to say is nothing at all. But that doesn’t apply to every situation.

In fact, in some scenarios saying nothing is one of the worst things that you can do.

Sometimes we hold off from speaking up because we think that less than perfect is not good enough. However, the perfect composition of words shouldn’t always be the aim.

At times it’s better to speak up in the moment, to perhaps let someone know that you care instead of staying quiet. The alternative is to wait until what you have to say is closer to perfect but by then it will be too late.

Time to jump

It’s easy to put things off and get caught up in analysing every possible outcome.

You might find yourself visualising the path you’re considering, hoping for a sign that the time to do it is now.

Or maybe you go online and do some research hoping to find a story that resonates from someone that took a chance.

There are only ever 2 choices, do nothing or do something.

Staying still, stuck and stagnant rarely feels good. Often once the moment to choose passes and you do nothing you end up regretting it.

But when you decide to take action and do something you open yourself up to the possibilities of life.

It might scare you but sometimes it’s time to jump.

The best possible next step

Sometimes it’s good to have a statement that serves as guidance for the direction of your life.

When you feel stuck, stagnant and discontent wondering what to do next pick the best possible next step.

Close your eyes and ask yourself ‘What is the best possible next step I can take?’

Whatever answer comes up, do it.

It could be as small as turning off your phone or drinking a glass of water. It could be as big as resigning from your job or ending a relationship.

Once you take the first step if you still feel stuck ask yourself the question again, keep doing that until you no longer feel stuck, stagnant or discontent.