Can I do better?

A question I’m learning to ask myself without judgement?

It’s easy to judge yourself and in doing so you’re not likely to answer the question in a way that is helpful.

You’ll be likely to find yourself caught up in a woe is me story-line. Your answer will be something like: ‘Well, I’m trying and it’s just not working out the way I want and I wish it could be better but maybe I’m just not good enough…’.

That sort of mentality isn’t helpful and it won’t result in growth, development or progress.

When it comes to improving on something you can’t attach emotions to your critique because it isn’t personal.

When asking the question Can I do better? it isn’t even really about a yes or no answer because one could argue that you can always do better. Instead it’s about whether you are happy to put out the thing you’ve created or the work that you’ve done.

Being a vulnerable writer

It turns out I’ve been hiding.

I’ve been hiding from the kind of writing that challenges me. I used to think that that meant being more personal and baring my soul.

But I was wrong.

I think there is beauty in being able to write something that not only moves the reader but also the writer.

Not the painful, tortured writer but instead the kind of writing with feeling behind it instead of just words.

It’s hard to find the time to push myself with what I share on The Daily Gemm in-between everything I have going on (and everything I distract myself with). And sometimes I allow myself to be bare minimum because I know I can get away with it.

But I read something beautiful this morning and it moved me. It made me remember just what I love about writing. It got me thinking about how I used to write and how I haven’t pushed myself to explore my writing enough.

I don’t even remember the last time I just sat and wrote without thinking about what I would do with it once it was finished.

I haven’t written a poem in months.

I daydreamed about writing these personal essays about my life yet I rarely write more than a couple hundred words at a time and never get round to even planning the essays.

I’ve been hiding and I didn’t even know it.

The feeling is not the problem

I think this is what they call a break through.

Perhaps we should look at situations from a neutral perspective.

The feeling you have towards any situation is not the problem and that is the mistake that is so often made.

We get so carries away by how dreadful it feels and sometimes that can spur us on but other times its just a hindrance. How are you supposed to go out into the world and thrive when you’re caught up in emotions.

Take unemployment for example. If you’re focused on how blah it feels to not have a job then every rejection email will be more likely to feel like a knock physically and mentally. Then before you know it you’ll be declaring that the job market is impossible and that you’re without a hope in the world.

The feeling is not the problem.

If you’re instead focused on the act of applying for jobs and improving your CV you’ll undoubtedly have a very different experience.

And the thing with a job is if there’s only vacancy and 50 people apply even if they’re all perfect applicants 49 people will still ‘lose’.

But that doesn’t make them losers it just means they have to keep playing that game.