You know the feeling you get when you read something that resonates. You feel seen, you feel heard and you feel connected, often to a complete stranger.
But this person was able to form something that encapsulates a feeling or a moment from your life. It can often serve as a reminder that we’re not so different or as separate from each other as we sometimes end up believing.
If you can be moved by words written 200 years ago then our problems, challenges and experiences aren’t so unique to us, there are plenty of other people that know what it’s like. In my teenage years I liked to beelive that somehow the author knew that I’d need to read their words, almost as if they wrote them just for me. Of course that wasn’t the case but it was a nice thought at the time.
I’ve held on to that idea but allowed it to evolve a little. As someone who writes and shares their words, I never write with a particular person in mind but I know that people are often drawn to read about things they can relate to.
I’ve read great words that have moved me and so I hope to do the same. I guess it’s sort of like taking one and passing it on.
‘I wrote this for you because of what they wrote for me.’
When you’re creating your dream life, you might think of things such as where you’ll live, what sort of home you’d like, how you’ll earn an income, how you’ll spend your free time and so on. But when there is equal appeal for conflicting choices, how do you decide?
Essentially it requires you to let some dreams go, perhaps not permanently but at least for a little while. But even when you know that is what needs to be done, you still have to choose what to put first. It could be the choice between living in apartment right in the heart of a the city and a cottage in the countryside.
Whatever choice you make you have to also remember that you might not get to go back and do the other thing in the way that you originally wanted. For example, if you choose the apartment in the city you may end up with a terraced house in the suburbs later on rather than the country cottage.
Most of the time when it comes to the dream life, I focus on the fantasy or romanticising the possibilities of life. I do that because it’s fun and I think it’s vital to engage with those ways of thinking. However, it’s important to be practical too. It’s not possible to do everything so you do have to choose. You have to decide which dreams are worth pursing.
There are moments in life that you daydream about and hold dear even though they haven’t happened yet.
But eventually the stars align and the dream moments that you once longed for are brought to life.
Sometimes we find ourselves overjoyed when the reality matched up to our dreams. Other times we find ourselves disappointed because the reality has fallen short of our daydreams.
When you’ve built up something in your mind to be this amazing and wonderful thing, anything less just won’t do. And so even if the dream moment is actually pretty good in reality, it’ll never be good enough.
We often end up pushing what we really want to the side in favour of something considered more realistic.
The point in having a dream life is being able to acknowledge and accept that where you are may not be where you want to be, then finding ways to bridge that gap.
It’s not about telling yourself, I’ll be happy when…
It’s not about spending all day fantasizing about the life you want as a form of escapism from your real life where you’re miserable.
It’s not about pining after a life where you’re rich and famous.
Often when we make plans for the future we come up with things like stable job, nice house, a few holidays a year and be comfortable financially.
That’s not a dream, that’s something we say because we’re scared of uncertainty. However, it doesn’t mean that there’s anything wrong with that life or that you wouldn’t be happy living it.
But try digging a little deeper, get lost in thought and see what comes up. Slowly, overtime your daydreams will come together to form a dream life and it’ll be full and specific.
Once you have that, the next step is bringing it to life which first requires you to believe it’s possible.
I daydream of you and I,
In a field of flowers,
Laying side by side.
My hand in your hand,
Your skin on my skin,
With nothing to hide.
No words spoken,
Only gazing at each other,
Glad to be alive.
A dream life or even dream job doesn’t have to be a single fixed thing for your entire life.
The life you aspired to have at 15 years old is likely to change once you reach your mid-twenties, if not years before.
You might realise you’re no longer interested in the life you used to want. But perhaps you followed that path, had a great few years and have decided that you want to move on to another dream.
It can be challenging to move on from something you spent years working towards. If it didn’t work out you might feel like you failed and if it was going swimmingly, moving on might feel too risky.
However, sometimes when things are going well, we stick around for too long and end up unhappy. The reason behind this is, having a life of many dreams actualised is rarely encouraged. Instead we’re told to pick one thing and stick with it.
And so when we start to think about moving on to a new dream, we hesitate. We close ourselves off to the possibilities of life and settle for less.
But dreams aren’t rigid, restricted or confined. Don’t be afraid to dream a new dream.
When thinking about what you want to do in the future, dream big.
You don’t have to be realistic and confine yourself to what you think is possible based on where you are in life right now.
In ten years time you’ll have more knowledge and experience so think of what is possible for future you.
It could be anything from writing a book, to owning a home in the countryside, visiting every country, moving a broad for a 6 months to a couple of years, starting a business, getting your products stocked in Selfridges or having a garden where you grow the majority of what you eat.
If those things don’t seem big enough to you then dream bigger. You don’t have to place limitations on what is possible for your life.
Nobody is living their life exactly as they would like right now. But in this space of uncertainty, limited in person interaction and staying inside you’ll get a pretty good idea of how you want to live your life.
Ask yourself: What do I miss?
What do I want to do with my day?
And give yourself time to daydream.
Lie down maybe even sit outside in the sun if possible and just daydream. Daydream about your job, how do you earn a living, what is your working life like.
Daydream about how you spend your free time, the people in your life, how you dress and any other bit of your life that’s on your mind.
Then come back to your reality and think about how different the daydream is to your current life.
It’s not bad if they greatly differ but it might serve as a reminder that you’re not living the life you truly want.
Do you ever spend time daydreaming about the life you want. The things you’ll do, places you’ll go, where you’ll live and how you’ll earn a living?
What do you do once the daydream is over?
It’s so easy to think that the life you daydream about is far from reach but in reality a good chunk of that distance will disappear once you start believing your dream life is possible.
That belief will come from realising that it’s possible to live the kind of life you want. You don’t have to settle as a result of the expectations of others or because the gap between where you are and where you want to be is too wide.
Once you start believing it’s possible you can move onto the next step, making it happen.
As a disclaimer I’d like to say that I’ve avoided writing this post because I don’t believe it’s healthy or helpful to identify with being cursed.
However, the title does have a nice ring to it so I couldn’t resist.
The dreamers curse is simply only having the ability to fulfill one half of the whole. To have dreaming ability in abundance with little capacity to get anything done.
It’s being in touch with your senses to the point where you can visualise with significant ease. Yet, when it comes to creating or making things happen you’re a boat with no oars, a floaty thing.
But if you’ve read a little bit of fiction then you’ll know that curses can be lifted.
People aren’t so rigid that they cant change, no matter how set in their ways they may be.