Failed expectations

Sometimes the way you envision things in your mind isn’t quite the way they pan out in real life.

It can be difficult to accept when things don’t turn out the way you expected them to. But this only really happens when reality fails your expectations. On the flipside when you’re expectations are surpassed you’re happy, you don’t question it.

The reason failed expectations bother us so much is because we allowed ourselves to get excited at the thought of something we want to happen. Then, when reality falls short we’re now disappointed because we know how things could have panned out and things could have turned out much better.

Good enough for right now

Not everything will be perfect and not everything needs to be.

Sometimes all you need to do is focus on making something that is good enough for right now.

Maybe, you can make it better later or maybe good enough is all that it needs to be.

If that’s the case, any time spent making it amazing isn’t time well spent. Instead of stressing to make it better, try focusing your efforts and energy on something that needs to be much better than just good enough.

Assuming the worst

Often when when we face a new situation that involves uncertainty, we automatically assume the worst. We make up a story about how bad it’ll be, how everything will go wrong and how maybe we’d have been better off if things stayed the way they were.

But, change is inevitable and so you have to learn to get used it.

The funny thing about these situations is that, we prepare ourselves for the worst but things never turn out as bad as we think they might.

In fact, things often turn out much better.

Made up systems

The way your world operates would be quite different if you lived in another period or in another country. You’d be living a life made up of slightly or even totally different systems to the ones you currently know.

That’s something that may have crossed your mind multiple times.

But, do you ever take it one step further?

What if the systems upheld in our current society, that contribute so heavily to what we consider important or even real, were given an over haul.

Maybe some of what you consider to be ‘just the way things are’ could change and become something different, something better.

It’s worth thinking about, not to inspire you to overthrow the status quo but because this is your life.

Many times we get so caught up in the way the world is, that end up placing the most importance on the things that matter the least.

The planning process

Or how to get caught in false productivity, when really you’re just wasting time.

You could spend forever planning if you really wanted to. You could write lists, create mind maps and make a 12 month plan. You can do all of those things and make no progress on the project you are planning for.

Sometimes, we hide behind planning because we don’t feel ready to begin.

And it’s not to say that planning is bad, it’s a good thing.

However, a big reason for over planning is because you don’t want anything to go wrong. But eventually you have to get the point where you realise that you just can’t plan for everything.

As much as you can try to plan, It turns out that most of the time we’re better off starting and then tweaking and making things better as we go.

Better days

Some days will be more challenging than others.

There will be difficult days and then there will be better days.

It’s easy to forget when things are challenging and difficult that they won’t be that way forever.

It’s easy to focus on the thing that is not going to plan and you can end up doing it so much that you lose the ability to see past it.

But just because today is difficult, doesn’t mean it’ll stay that way forever. Maybe tomorrow (or the next day) will be better.

Learned behaviour

I’m really into self-observation and learning about why we are the way we are.

I find behaviour to be quite fascinating. I’ve learnt that often how we act is down to the people we surround ourselves with and the people we allow ourselves to be influenced by rather than just something ingrained within.

It might be easy to blame external factors for why you are the way you are. But that doesn’t mean you can’t change.

The same way you learned to be one way you can choose to learn to be different (and hopefully better).

Knowing when to make a change

If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it.

A common phrase that essentially means, if something is going well don’t change it.

We don’t have to wait until something is broken before we decide to fix it or change it. You could be in the habit of doing something like eating chocolate chip pancakes everyday for breakfast. You never miss a day and always make time to sit and relax whilst you eat.

Essentially, nothing is broken.

But you might be better off eating fruit, or oats instead.

Just because something isn’t going badly, doesn’t mean it isn’t worth thinking of how you can make it better.

You need to do better

Think of something that you’re currently working on and ask yourself with no judgement, can I do better?

When you’re not getting what you want out of life and things aren’t quite going your way, it’s easy to blame external things.

But sometimes the reason things aren’t working out is because you need to do better.

Maybe you’ve gotten lazy or maybe you weren’t aware of the effort required.

Once you’ve realised you need to do better, do better.

Yes, it really is that simple.

Everything is better in the movies

A movie is kind of like a summary. It only focuses on the key parts and skips or at least fast forwards the mundane bits.

6 months of hard work is displayed in 10 minutes split across the movie in various montages and short scenes. It looks much easier on the big screen.

In less than 2 hours the lead manages to fall in and out of love then back into it again. You find yourself wondering how on earth to even meet someone.

But what movies are great at is showing moments.

We all have those good bits in our lives, in among the chaos, stress and challenges.

And more often than not they’re even better than the movies because they’re real and they’re happening to you.