Can’t keep up

It can be incredibly frustrating when you find yourself falling behind and struggling to keep up.

You end up feeling like there’s something wrong with you and you might even begin to question yourself in order to figure out why you can’t keep up.

And sometimes it leads to wondering whether you’re good enough or wondering if you should quit.

In these moments, think it’s useful to offer yourself a little bit of kindness. If you can’t keep up, berating yourself won’t help or make it any easier to catch up.

Perhaps it would be much more useful to offer yourself some kindness instead.

Managing high hopes

High hopes can lead to disappointment.

We all have things that we want in life whether it be physical items, titles or things from other people.

I think it’s perfectly okay to want things but it’s important to also remember that you might not get them or certain things won’t quite work out as you expected.

And when you carry around great expectations, it can be difficult to adjust when things turn out any other way.

So, it’s important to know (or create the belief for yourself) that you don’t have to rely on one specific outcome in order for things to turn out okay.

3 things to to before you get carried away

Move

Whether it be taking a walk, doing a workout or having a solo dance party. Moving your body enables you to let go of the energy that is weighing you down, overwhelming you and will eventually lead you to getting carried away

Write

Just start writing something about how you feel and see where it goes. Don’t focus on it being good, write for yourself and be honest. You might find that you thought you were upset about one thing but really you were upset because it reminded you of something from the past.

Rest

Slow down, stop and take a rest. You’ll wake up feeling refreshed and with a much clearer head rather than indulging in thoughts that only make you feel worse.

How to be a better listener

Don’t offer advice
Don’t offer advice until the person asks for it. People often make the assumption that when someone is talking about an issue they want to be told what to do. However, many times a person just wants to express themselves and feel heard.

Show that your engaged verbally
Muttering a generic hmmm, every now and then is sometimes what is done to portray a false sense of engagement but often the case is you’re probably just not interested. The ‘hmmm’ can also be a sign that you want to let them know you’re listening. You can also use short phrases like ‘I can’t imagine what that’s been like’ or ‘that must be difficult’ to show you’re engaged or you could ask questions.

Show that you’re engaged physically
Looking at your phone, being turned away from the person and not making eye contact can show a lack of interest. Don’t be distracted, have your body facing them and make eye contact.

Lastly, two things to remember, if you don’t want to listen then just say so instead of doing it half heartedly. Secondly, you can’t expect someone will want to come and talk to you if you don’t show that you’re interested in what they have to say.

Actions and feelings

Often we hesiste to take action because we’re waiting on a feeling.

For example, you hesitate to lead, speak up or contribute because you’re waiting on confidence.

And so, you wait and put things off hoping that in time the confidence will come. But the confidence may never come. You don’t become more confident by holding back and shying away, it’s something that comes with practice.

So, instead of waiting on a feeling to take action, take action first and allow the feeling to follow.

Avoidance

Avoidance is temporary.

You might feel like you’ve managed to escape when you put it off for another day. However, that’s not quite how it works, it hasn’t gone away.

What you don’t do today will still be there tomorrow. It’ll be there until you decided to face it, or it faces you.

And so you’d be much better off preparing yourself as best as you can instead of putting it off.

The excitement of new beginnings

Who doesn’t love the feeling of a fresh start?

Starting something new can bring up feelings of excitement but also a nervousness. This is normal when doing something you haven’t done before. However, the nerves can turn into anxiety if you focus on them too much and allow yourself to get carried away.

And so instead focus on the exciting possibilities of all the things that you hope will become your reality.

Enjoy the moment

If you spend too much time focusing on the wrong thing, you’ll miss out on the chance to enjoy the moment.

Of course you never want to push aside or dismiss problems that need to be solved or worries that feel important but they don’t have to always be a priority.

There will always be 101 things you can worry about but you don’t need to always worry.

As much as you make time for that, make time for the stuff that makes you feel good and just enjoy the moment.

Say it now

If something is bothering you, don’t ignore it. Say it now.

Of course there may be times when you need to process and check in with yourself to ensure you’re not making a mountain out of a molehill but that won’t always be necessary.

Often, the reason we ignore things and don’t speak up in the moment is because we don’t want to rock the boat, we’re afraid of what the outcome will be, we’re worried about coming across as confrontational and sometimes we fear we’ll be dismissed.

It sometimes feels easier to say nothing and push the feeling aside. But then time goes by and that feeling grows and often ends up bothering you more than it did initially.

Putting things off also tends to cause anxiety and tension in your body as you’re quite literally holding onto you’re words.

And when you finally do decide to say something you’re reaction is totally out of proportion.

There’s not much use in putting it off, you might as well just say it now and get it over with.