Managing stress and deadlines

Been there done that, felt awful.

So, these are three little things that work for me because sometimes I need to remind myself that putting things off will never be helpful.

Start
Beginning as soon as possible gives you the most amount of time to work on your thing. I’ve found that it’s often when I leave things until the last minute I don’t have time to work through the challenging bit which shows up as things being too difficult when maybe what I needed was more time.

Plan
So I’m a planner. I find that it helps me feel less overwhelmed and gives me the structure I need. Otherwise I get caught up in my thoughts and nothing gets done. It also makes things easier for when you’re doing the work and leaves less room for distraction.

Talk
A recent lesson I’ve learnt. If you’ve started and made some plans but are still finding things difficult or maybe if it’s just stressful, talking helps . You might not think it’s true but you might be surprised. Voicing how you feel can be freeing and also depending on who you speak to you might get some helpful advice or a fresh perspective.

What works for you?

Problems and solutions

A simple but useful exercise

Get a piece of paper and split it in 2 (or create a word document or excel spreadsheet). On one side write all your problems, the big, small and in-between.

Then the other side come up with a solution to each one.

In my experience, I’ve found that this lowers the feeling of overwhelm because once your problem has a solution it’s no longer such a big deal.

The problem could be that you’ve been feeling really tired lately. The solution to that could be getting more sleep by going to bed earlier or eating more nourishing food so that you have more energy throughout the day.

Or perhaps you don’t have enough time to work on your side projects. The solution could be to commit to setting 1hr aside every day. And to cut out or reduce other things that are taking up your time that aren’t important like Netflix.

Once you’re done you’ll have an action plan in front of you and if those problems are really bothering you’ll do something about it.

Life changing habits: Daily mantras

A tool I use to sort of re-calibrate so that my intentions are focused on a specific thing.

When I was looking for a job in the past I did daily mantras for at least a month then I ended up getting 3 job offers within the space of a few weeks.

I get that some people don’t believe in the power of mantras but I’m not saying it’s a magic fix. It’s more a case of what you focus on grows, it sort of becomes in sociological terms a self fulfilling prophecy. I’m a big believer that if you don’t think it’ll work then it probably won’t.

And if you don’t trust me trust Henry Ford who said ‘Whether you think you can, or you think you can’t – you’re right.’

It’s been life changing for me because the things I’ve declared have come to pass. I try and focusing on bringing more of the good stuff in and letting the stuff no longer serving me fall away and mantras help with that.

Why shouting might not get the message across

The talker may assume the louder my voice the more they’ll understand what I’m saying,  or maybe they feel like you’re not listening so they have no choice but to shout.

Nobody likes being shouted at and so the listener instead of focusing on the message will focus on the fact that you’re shouting and probably even be closed off to even trying to understand you.

People associate being shouted at with having done something wrong, it’s something associated with parents and teachers.

There’s not much use in shouting to try and get someone to listen, try simply talking instead.

But always remember, no matter how important you think your message is, you can’t force people to listen.

A simple way to become more confident

Practice.

I think the problem many people face is the feeling of overwhelm when the compare where they are with where they want to be.

Instead of focusing on what they can do from where they’re currently at they focus on the gap.

And sometimes that gap is vast.

But like I said at the start it’s just a matter of practice. And that might be to practice voicing your thoughts in a group setting when someone asks of anyone has any points they want to add.

Practice going to events alone and making an effort to talk to strangers despite the discomfort or nerves.

Pick what you want to work on and see how it goes. It might be challenging the first time but don’t be put off because we all know that practice makes perfect and if not perfect it makes you better than you were yesterday.

Knowing when to leave a tip

Recent I found myself running late and so instead of getting the bus I had to get an uber to make my train on time.

And so there I sat in the back seat feeling slightly anxious and playing the soothing sounds of canon in d major over in my mind in the hopes that it would keep my heart palpitations at bay.

It was my fault that I was running late so I resisted the urge to ask my driver to step on the gas. Instead we made small talk and he commented on what a lovely name I had and asked me where I was headed for the day.

In the end I was earlier than I expected and my driver left me with some much appreciated words of positivity. And so as I headed into the station to platform 4 I decided to tip my driver.

Same old, same old

What do you do when you find yourself experiencing the same situations over and over again.

No matter how much your life seems to change you find yourself going through the same old, same old.

Who’s to blame?

Why is it happening?

And most importantly, how do you break the cycle?

I’m going to have start researching more so I can make references but what I do know is that blaming yourself rarely helps.

You don’t need to blame anyone else either. Instead, just know that you can change things.

It happens because our brains get lazy, they love repeating patterns and loops even when they aren’t most beneficial. We handle situations however we know how and sometimes we don’t have the knowledge or tools to react in a way that will be helpful in the long run.

Before you know it, you’re finding yourself in the same situations and reacting similarly to how you first did. Nothing has changed aside from the fact that you’re now 6 years older.

Breaking the cycle starts with acknowledging your circumstances because like a popular song lyric states ‘you can’t fix what you can’t see’. When you find yourself in that familiar situation don’t go into autopilot and just do what you usually do because things will never change that way.

You have to be conscious and self aware enough that you can stop and ask yourself ‘What is the most helpful way for me to respond that will achieve my desired outcome?’

This will be a trial and error thing but the advice I can give is to remember that you have no control over anyone but yourself and when thinking of your desired outcome make it based on how you want to feel.