Life is full of stuff.
Stuff we get caught up in because we think it matters.
Social media expectations of the way that things should be.
But at the end of the day all that stuff is often a distraction from what really matters.
And so you have to learn to overcome it. No matter how important it might seem to uphold these expectations, it’ll rarely make you happier.
In fact, more often than not it just makes you miserable because it leaves little room for you to be yourself.
In the age of social media it’s easy to overshare. You can go from sharing behind the scenes of your business, hobby or creative work to showing people what you ate for breakfast, how you ruined your manicure and asking for suggestions for your new hair colour.
For some people, it works, they like sharing themselves with people in that way. But for others it would be considered too much.
It’s can be challenging to judge whether you need to push yourself to share more online or if sharing more is the wrong thing for you.
If you find yourself caught up in uncertainty over what to share online, consider why you want to share those details.
Does it add to the work you create, does it add value, is it something you’re comfortable doing or is it just more ‘stuff’ to scroll through?
If you’re someone that regularly consumes content online you’ve probably noticed that right now there is more stuff than ever.
More photo’s and videos than you even have the energy to consume, it’s overwhelming.
Some days people are all sharing the same thing, telling you what you should think, telling you what you shouldn’t be doing or selling something you don’t want.
I guess the problem with more stuff is that when it isn’t helpful, useful or interesting it’s just more stuff to wade through until you can get to the bits that you actually care about.
But just because there is more to consume doesn’t mean you need to spend more time online.
Try giving yourself a time limit, being selective about what you consume and unfollowing anything that isn’t benefiting you.
When you interact with someone that is in a bad mood or is angry you might find at the end of it that you feel bad too.
That’s what happens when you take on other peoples stuff.
It might seem that when someone directs anger and frustration towards you that you have to take it because what else can you do. But you always have options.
If someone asked you if you wanted to feel bad I’m certain the answer would be no. You have to keep that decisiveness when interacting with someone that’s angry.
When you learn to do that you’re not so effected by how the other person feels because that’s not your stuff and you don’t need to take it on.
We’re all just doing our best which is something that we often forget and it might be the reason why we’re often so quick to judge others.
We so easily get caught up in our own world, our own challenges, experiences and struggles that we don’t consider everyone else is going through things too.
You might be struggling with anxiety but someone else may have financial issues and be struggling to pay their bills. People don’t often share what they’re going through (especially not with strangers) so all we know is our own personal stuff that we’re carrying around with us.
But, I think it would be naive to say let’s all share our struggles and challenges.
However, when you’re going through things I think it’s important to remember that everyone else goes through things too.
Not as a way to invalidate your own experiences but to help you realise that it’s totally normal to have challenges and difficult experiences in life.
And once you truly realise that for yourself, extend that to everyone you meet.
There’s a lesson in almost everything.
How much stuff are you holding onto that doesn’t feel good.
Think about who or what you’re following on social media, what are you subscribed to, the contents of your closet or home space.
How does it make you feel?
If it doesn’t feel good, why not?
Furthermore, why are you still holding onto it?
A think a bi-annual (if not seasonal) life cull is a useful way to ensure that you’re only letting the good stuff stay. It’s important to be strict when you cull or else you end up keeping things for no real reason, you have to be honest with yourself about what you actually want or need in your life.
Do you need those slingbacks from 6 years ago that you’ve only worn once?
Do you need to keep following that stranger who is friends with that super hardworking, inspiring and stylish woman (who is also a stranger)?
Or how about that book you know you’ll never read or those old bedsheets that are just taking up space?
If it’s not something you use, know you will use or doesn’t serve any purpose in your life aside from being clutter then there’s not much use holding onto it.
When you’re going on a journey, you can’t take everything with you.
In the 7 years that I’ve been blogging, I’ve had multiple sites but never ran more than one at a time. I was always starting over every 18 months or so with this idea of how the new blog would be ‘so much better’ than it’s predecessor.
I found myself struggling with wanting to express every part of myself into my blog when in reality it’s perfectly okay for your blog to only show a small slice of who you are.
I’m learning that it’s okay to just write about a select few topics that interest me rather than trying to pour out and express every single bit of who I am. It’s okay to write about small businesses, personal style, my career journey and a bit of personal development.
I don’t also need to post poetry, life musings, feelings, book reviews, TV shows, podcasts, travel etc. It all becomes to much.
I created this blog as a writing space to pour out thoughts and ideas and for it to be my own personal writing practice that isn’t about working with brands, or sharing products or talking about stuff. In some ways this is more daunting because it’s just me showing up and sharing words each day but on the other hand 10+ years of keeping a journal has taught me how to express my thoughts and ideas consistently every single day.
